What a Wealth Advisor and someone who masturbates have in common?
They both milk their holdings.
What do you call a communist that masturbates
Dad: What do you call a communist that masturbates
Son: What
Dad: A Cummunist
What do you call a cow that masturbates?
what do you call a man who cries when he masturbates?
What do you call a bull that masturbates?
My friend confessed to me that he masturbates with his feet.
I told him he needed to get help.
Things had obviously gotten out of hand.
If a girl masturbates with a cucumber then its a jill pickle
A new study says too much masturbation can cause you to misspell words.
But hoo reely beeleeves that?
What do you call a herd of masturbating cows?
A dad turns to his son and says "Masturbation causes blindness."
Son replys "Dad I'm over here."
What do you call Andrew Tate in prison?
The same but different. Very different!
How does a programmer learn to masturbate?
By reading the release notes.
I went to get a physical last week and the doctor told me I had to stop masturbating.
He said it made it difficult for him to perform the physical.
Genius is 1% inspiration, 74% perspiration,..
The year I figured out masturbation, I got told "Santa Claus is watching you."
I got a lot of new socks that year.
can somebody give me a dad joke?
no, really, put it in the comments and the one with the most upvotes i’ll put on a custom deck of cards im buying
A father tells his son: "Son, if you masturbate too much, you'll go blind!"
The son replies to his dad: "Dad, I'm over here!"
I quit masturbating
You could say its gotten out of hand
My wife wanted to go on vacation, but I wanted a staycation...
. .. so we compromised and had an altercation
A man has been arrested for publically masturbating while reading out loud from a law book, all the while imagining legal cases.
Though he got off on a technicality.
I went and saw my doctor…
I went and saw my doctor the other day, and he told me I had to stop masturbating and I asked him
“why?”
And he said
“Because I’m trying to examine you”
Do you know why you can't set your password to "beef stew"?
how does a robot have sex?
According to my friends, apparently I'm the jerk for not wanting anything to do with a masturbating bull.
They've tried convincing me "it's only beef stroganoff" but at this point I'm not convinced.
French people don’t masturbate …
It’s hard for a woman to work in the post office
Considering it’s such a mail dominating industry.
I found out today you should never brush your teeth using your right hand.
It works much better if you use a toothbrush
My brother had a stroke.
He was a Painter. He had a lot of strokes.
There is a restaurant in Italy that makes the best eggs Benedict in the world.
Apparently there's no place like Rome for the Hollandaise.
I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."
"I'm over here dad." He replied.
Did you hear about the journalist that masturbated on all his note?
He has a room full of sticky notes.
My wife wanted to know why I took the Dad Joke book into the bathroom with me.
Just for shits and giggles.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
What do you call someone who is good at fishing?
I haven't made up my mind around masturbation
Cuz on one hand it feels good.
-Bo Burnham
So disappointed! I was supposed to have a story about masturbation in a major publication but at the last minute, they yanked it!
The nurse at the sperm bank asked if I wanted to masturbate in the cup
I replied: I know I am pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet
i’m giving up masturbating for an entire month
sorry, poor punctuation.
i’m giving up! masturbating for an entire month.
What are you if you smoke marijuana and masturbate at the same time?
My son asked me what I knew about masturbation
Now he has a tip that should come in handy.
What do you call a cow that masturbates?
What do you call a herd of masturbating cows?
what do you call a masturbating cow?
A father told his son “Stop masturbating or you’ll go blind”
Son replies: Dad I am over here.
What do you call a masturbating cow?
What do you call a cow that’s masturbating...
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