A list of puns related to "Jerk Off"
Ambulances, I can't stand them.
You've beaten your meat.
Hey dad, why are you telling that mannequin not to jerk off?
He had a walnut
*written on before...*written on again... some jerk keeps rubbing it off 😁
he sits down and orders a drink. the bartender says, "I'm sorry. we don't serve ropes at this establishment". The rope shrugs it off and leaves. The next day, the rope thought to himself, maybe it was just the one bartender who was a jerk. I'll go back and try again. He walks into the bar, see's a new bartender, and sits down to order a drink. Alas, this new bartender says, "we don't serve ropes at this bar". The rope is getting pretty heated at this point. He storms out of the bar, ruffles his ends, gets himself all twisted up, marches right back in, and demands a drink. The bartender responds, "aren't you that rope I just kicked out?" the rope responds, "no, I'm a frayed knot"
The second I arrived his chickens started to attack me.
He fought them off and said, “Sorry about them. They’re jerk chickens.”
What do you call 200 cows jerking off?
Beef strokin' off (stroganoff).
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
One evening, I was on Teamspeak talking with a few people I know; one of them being a German guy called Willi.
He's gone away from the keyboard for a few minutes and someone asks where he is. A friend of his jokes that he's probably jerking off to porn.
To which I replied "Are you trying to tell me he's playing with his Willi?"
Cue groans from the entire channel.
and we found a Schecter C1 with a natural wood finish and spent like an hour playing it, despite being in the middle of a room packed full of exotic guitars. I own a Schecter bass and through playing a few different models I have come to the conclusion that Schecter is the Valve of guitar manufacturers, but I'm not here to wax poetic about Schecters, I can do that on my own time.
Anyway, we went home afterwards and he posted a status on Facebook about it, which included the line
> ...and in a room full of hyperexotics, spent an hour metaphorically jerking off to a Schecter C1.
I replied with
>>metaphorically
and he came back with
>They don't call it a wood finish for nothin'.
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.