Procrastination is just like masturbation.
In the end, youβre just screwing yourself.
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︎ Feb 25 2021
I have a masturbation addiction....
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︎ Sep 05 2020
My girlfriend thanked me for the videos I sent her from my masturbation session.
The pleasure was all mine.
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︎ Jun 06 2020
I once had an addiction to masturbation...
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︎ Feb 21 2020
If masturbation was a sport...
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︎ Sep 08 2019
I had a habit of excess masturbation but I'm glad I was able to beat it.
π︎ 19
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︎ Jul 12 2019
I don't know how I feel about masturbation anymore.
On one hand, it's pretty good. On the other hand, it's a little awkward.
EDIT: from https://jokeriot.com
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︎ Jul 23 2018
Masturbation addiction is a viscous cycle
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︎ Mar 31 2019
Masturbation...
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︎ Feb 26 2017
Iβm torn on my opinion of masturbation
I mean, on one hand it feels good....
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 23 2019
Procrastination and Masturbation are very similar..
They both feel good in the moment and afterwards youβre picking up after yourself.
π︎ 2
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︎ Jul 23 2019
Masturbation is the best way to get your creative juices flowing.
That's why they call it a "stroke of genius" when you finally come up with something
π︎ 11
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︎ Oct 25 2016
I hear the Sex Ed teacher had to talk about masturbation. It could have been awkward...
...but I hear he handled it well.
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︎ Apr 18 2018
Lately I've been trying to quit masturbation.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 30 2014
I was just told that it's best to masturbate before a date.
I guess I'm never masturbating again.
π︎ 4
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︎ Feb 25 2021
What are you if you smoke marijuana and masturbate at the same time?
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︎ Nov 19 2020
iβm giving up masturbating for an entire month
sorry, poor punctuation.
iβm giving up! masturbating for an entire month.
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︎ Oct 09 2020
I entered my sons room and said, "Remember, boy, masturbating can make you go blind."
"I'm over here dad." He replied.
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︎ Jul 27 2020
My wife walked in on me masturbating to an optical illusion.
I said, βHoney, itβs not what it looks like!β
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︎ Aug 26 2020
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he canβt even look at himself in the mirror.
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︎ Dec 19 2020
Yknow what lotion I use when I masturbate?
π︎ 5
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︎ Feb 01 2020
What do you call a cow that masturbates?
π︎ 6
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︎ May 10 2020
A whale is masturbating. His sperm shoots out and thanks him.
He replies " You're whale cum!"
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 26 2020
Does anyone know if we can start taking showers yet?
Or are we still just washing our hands?
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︎ May 16 2020
Masturbating to art
π︎ 20
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︎ Nov 25 2019
I applied to be a sperm donor recently and the nurse asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.
I told her Iβve done it a few times before but I donβt know if Iβm ready to compete in a tournament.
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︎ Sep 09 2019
So a man goes to the doctor and the doctor tells he needs to stop masturbating, the man asks why
The doctor replies "because I'm trying to examine you!"
π︎ 9
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︎ Nov 12 2019
My friend confessed to me that he masturbates with his feet.
I told him he needed to get help.
Things had obviously gotten out of hand.
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 25 2019
what do you call a man who cries when he masturbates?
π︎ 22
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︎ Aug 15 2019
What do you call a bunch of cows masturbating in a field?
π︎ 25
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︎ Feb 24 2019
My SO confessed to masturbating alone instead of seeking out sex with me.
Didn't see that one coming
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 16 2019
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as sex cymbals.
π︎ 9
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︎ Apr 21 2019
What do you get after masturbating for five days in a row?
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 02 2019
I heard some people masturbate with their left hands, so I tried it for myself.
π︎ 12
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︎ Mar 22 2019
A woman calls her husband's doctor...
A woman calls her husband's doctor. Β "Did you really tell my husband he could masturbate whenever he wanted?"
"No ma'am, I told him he could have a stroke at any time."
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︎ Sep 26 2020
A man was masturbating, when the blood was suddenly cut off to his brain...
...he was having a stroke
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︎ Jan 04 2019
If a guy is addicted to masturbating but then gets addicted to sex, is it fair to say
His addiction got out of hand
π︎ 23
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︎ Mar 04 2019
The knight had many standing positions for masturbating to chose from
Depending on the circumstances
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 08 2019
I had a habit of excess masturbation but I'm glad I was able to beat it.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 12 2019
I tried to quit masturbation, but I couldn't...because on one hand, it feels good...ο»Ώ
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 01 2018
I have mixed feelings about masturbation
On one hand it feels good.
π︎ 17
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︎ Aug 01 2018
What do you call a masturbating cow?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
What do you call a masturbating cow?
π︎ 6
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︎ Aug 27 2019
Doctor: You need to stop masturbating, sir
Me: Why?
Doctor: Because I'm trying to examine you.
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︎ May 08 2019
What do you call cattle masturbating?
π︎ 9
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︎ May 29 2019
What do call a masturbating cow?
π︎ 39
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︎ Oct 22 2018
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