Circumcision Puns Aren't Funny

My wife gave birth to our first son on Friday. This morning they came to get him for his circumscion and we were feeding him a bottle. The nurse said we were going to have to cut it short. I said ok, but not too short. And nobody laughed. They looked at me like an idiot. Hopefully the internet will appreciate this.

EDIT: Didn't expect this to garner so much attention, but I guess it deserves some elaboration. Yes, this actually happened and we had our son circumcised. Everything went well without any complications. I made this decision with my wife based on hygienic, traditional, and aesthetic reasons, and I am confident in my decision. I am circumcised, and I'm happy with it.

There are times in my son's life that i will need to make decisions for him, and this was one of those times. I understand that some people think I have committed a terrible crime against my son, but I disagree. There are many arguments for both sides, and I think these decisions should be made by family and doctors when the bridge comes to be crossed.

I'm not going to go through and answer all of the questions and insults individually, I have a newborn to take care off, but y'all feel free to hash it out.

Also, I still think my joke was pretty damn funny.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Oemus2776
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2018
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What’s the oldest age someone could get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
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Want to hear a circumcision joke?

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 266
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_Sheev
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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How do you pay someone that is giving you a circumcision?

Tell em’ to keep the tip.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wonkagloop
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 09 2020
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People say circumcision doesn't hurt, but i disagree.

i was circumcised when i was born and i couldn't walk for almost a year.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HungryPizzax
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2019
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I asked the mods whether I could post a joke about circumcision on this sub.

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 06 2020
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My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a living.

He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rajdhagat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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What do u call an expensive circumcision

A rip-off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThickCactus85
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
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I used to know a guy who did circumcision [NSFW]

The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/marajyub
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 15 2019
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My circumcision was really hard on me...

I couldn't walk for a year afterward.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/noblechimp84
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 17 2020
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 67
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RazorDecoy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 10 2020
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My synagogue is famous for how little the mohel charges for a circumcision.

He just works for tips.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brewer1056
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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I once new a guy that used to do circumcisions

He told me, β€œThe money isn’t great, but I get to keep the tips”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jarl_draven
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2020
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Disneyworld is like circumcision.

a rite of passage best enjoyed by the young, and generally not worth repeating.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beingtwiceasnice
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2020
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What do you call a circumcision that costed $20 more than normal ?

A rip off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Depressed_Citrus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 02 2019
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Did you hear what happened to the blind circumcision doctor?

He got the sack.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/perp96
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 26 2019
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You know what a German doctor shouts after a circumcision?

Off wienerskin!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lolrly123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2019
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Considering getting my circumcision reversed.

Anyone have any tips?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Iamironmankevin
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2019
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Seeing a lot of jokes about circumcision on here reminded me of an old favorite....

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 41
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ohsopoor
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2019
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Circumcision is positively...

dickendsian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nyckname
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 05 2019
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It takes balls to have a circumcision
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dolor455
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 19 2019
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Im going to be a circumcision doctor...

the pays not good but i get to keep the tips

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zombieshark717
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2019
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Hey did you hear about the doctor who did circumcision

Well he wasn't paid much but he got to keep the tips

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pidgeon_Centurian
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2019
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Be wary of cheap circumcisions.

You'll get ripped off !!

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Stoatwobbler
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 14 2019
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My wife said she wants to see a new documentary called "American Circumcision".

She said it's 1 hour and 40 minutes long.

I said, "An hour and forty minutes? Is that the uncut version?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 49
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyOtherAccount_3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2018
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I used to work for a doctor specializing in circumcisions, but he never paid me a cent...

I guess you could say that I worked for tips

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/moses10960
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2018
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My doctor friend claims that he can do a circumcision without using surgical instruments.

I don’t think he’ll be able to pull it off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2018
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I am going to start a company specializing in circumcisions for the well endowed.

I've always wanted to be in big bris-ness.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LouGubrius
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2019
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How much did you pay for your son's circumcision?

Not much, we just left a tip.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/piedssurmars
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 16 2019
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What do you call a badly done circumcision?

A rip-off!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 51
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JaceTheAuthor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2018
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I wanted to make a joke about circumcision

But I kind of cut myself off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/_GUAPO__KB312
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
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People say circumcision doesn’t hurt, but i have to disagree.

I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn’t walk for nearly a year. So check your facts.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/UriahPeabody
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2019
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What Do You Call A Cheap Circumcision?

A Rip-Off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 325
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zniper746
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision A rip-off.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gdrhvddfh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/D3rpyD0lphin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

a rip-off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 47
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/seegerts86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip-off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 57
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SaladifiedEnsalada
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2019
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What do you call a bad circumcision?

A rip-off.....

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MrBlue08
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2019
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I used to know a guy who did circumcisions

The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GoliathTheTitan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2019
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I knew a guy who once used to do circumcisions for a living...

The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dennis584
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 08 2019
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What do you call a cheap circumcision

A rip off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 36
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SamVane24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2018
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What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A Rip off

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tijmackish
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 19 2019
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Here is a joke about circumcision!

[removed]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 75
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fml-mat
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 23 2018
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I’ve always wonderedβ€” What is the oldest age that a person can get a circumcision?

I just want to know the cutoff date.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 15 2019
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I had a cheap circumcision

It was a rip-off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 283
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 18 2017
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Did you hear what happened to the cross eyed circumcision surgeon?

He got the sack.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Slickmink
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 15 2019
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