I am the master pun creator
πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MickeyMoose555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"

"Yes, my master, I have."

"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"

"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."

"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"

"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."

"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
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Did you know that musician Bob Seger wanted to be a chess master?

He was always working on his knight moves...

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_bradley
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
25 emails between me (film producer) and Jason (my props master) over the course of making my film RUN (on Hulu now!)
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sevohanian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I was in the hotel lobby the other day when I heard 2 chess masters bragging about past wins.

They were chess nuts boasting in an open foyer

πŸ‘︎ 603
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdolmiosauce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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Master of Noneβ€’β€’β€’Pastor of Muppets
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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My friend told me, β€œYou have a B.A., Master’s, and a Ph.D., but you still act like a moron.”

It was a third degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 483
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
No matter what I do, I just can’t seem to master the entire alphabet.

I don’t know y

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My father in law is the master at Dad Jokes, this is my favorite he tells my son

You must be built backwards because your feet smell and your nose runs.

πŸ‘︎ 86
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JCandle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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I gave up explaining to my Zen master how E-mails work.

He can't just comprehend what attachments are!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pkdtezpur88
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm still figuring out how to properly wear a face covering. Before I could master the art I was robbed of my beloved mask...

It was stolen from right under my nose.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did Master Yoda say when he first saw himself in 4k resolution?

HDMI

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Vincent Van Gogh’s son was a LEGO master. As a test of his skill he was asked...

Can you LEGO an egg Gogh?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Pun Level: Master
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrismith410
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
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Which is the grand master of nuts?

The chess-nut.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
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Bow down to your master, peasants
πŸ‘︎ 260
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edmund22lee
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
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A Zen master walked up to a hot dog stand, and ordered himself a meal.

"Make me one with everything."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LatinousNamous
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
You’ll likely get this if you watched Russell Crowe in Master and Commander...
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/renoraid
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
🚨︎ report
People Who Are Expert Fishers Are Also Master Baiters
πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoyamec69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
You heard about the master-chef from Transylvania?

Vlad Tapas.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Im a master at sleeping

I can do it with my eyes closed!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/APunchToThePuss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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My friend said that stray dogs have no masters.

I agreed and added that they don't even have associates.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coolmcq
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why didn't Obi-Wan forgive Darth Maul for killing his master?

He wasn't willing to let Qui-Gons be bygones.

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelkorHimself
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a Kung Fu master who has stayed in 30 yurts in the last 30 days

He's on a roundhouse kick.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyDabomb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the park master cross the road?

To get to the other slide

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/romanator25
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
"Master Kief"
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ATacticalBagel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why isn’t Master Yoda a fan of rugby?

Because there is no try, only do, or do not.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darth-noxious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2020
🚨︎ report
pc master race
πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LavinaBBGK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
As a master electrician of 22 years, I've never had an accident on the job.

When I finally had an accident at work, I was shocked.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vodka_twinkie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Great Deku Tree tell Link when he couldn't pull out the master sword?

Triforce

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Averet101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Being a yo-yo master has its ups and downs.
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pappajay2001
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
It takes 4000 hours to become a master of cheese

I reckon after 2000 you become cheese bored.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SquishedGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of beverage do kung Fu masters drink?

Wataaaaaaaaa!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KVsReddit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Shagster the pun master
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElDoggo20
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Grandma is the dominant pun master in the family. (I’m in Collegeβ€” that’s why she says the first comment)
πŸ‘︎ 586
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πŸ‘€︎ u/henriley
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2017
🚨︎ report
Hit my own father with a back to back. The student has surpassed the master.

Had to change some plans with my dad while I'm in town. So I told him we had to move the day to Thursday.

He said "don't worry I'm flexible"

to which I replied "I'd say that's a bit of a stretch."

He didn't seem to know what I meant so I had to explain I was joking.

"Ahhh I may be flexible but I'm not so bright."

"Don't worry dad, at least the son is."

I have officially become more dad than my own dad.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uber_battletoad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the karate master who joined the army?

They killed themselves with their first salute.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rDacted
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Hello pun masters, need some help making a Christmas pun for this one
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jschindler13
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Calling all pun masters: Voting closes in a few days!
πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/albusbumblecore
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Happy birthday to the master of the spoken pun, Barbara Punkelman
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moosesurgeon12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Excuse me, pun master coming through
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pasta_pants
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend said, β€œYou have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

It was a third degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K for the first time?

HDMI?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingerlickyourbum
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife said β€œYou have a BA, a Masters and a PhD, but you still act like an idiot…”

It was a third degree burn

πŸ‘︎ 401
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MonotoneYay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend said, β€œYou have a BA, Masters and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot.”

It was a third degree burn.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw two chess masters in a hotel lobby they were bragging about past wins...

... I guess you could say that they were chessnuts boasting on an open foyer.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wolfie979
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report

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