Martinis Puns

Shaken and a little bit slurred

The guy says "no, just the one"

But it'll make you Roger Moore.

All shook up

The Absolut wurst combo.

A roman walks into the bar and asks for a Martinus.

"You mean a martini?" the bartender asks.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for it!"

Another Roman walks into the bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers please!"

Sits next to Martini. Martini looks over and says, “Hey, could I buy you a drink?” Gin and Tonic replies, “no thank you. You’re not Mai Thai.”

"Two martinis, please."

"Dry?"

"NEIN, ZWEI!"

He drinks straight from the bottle.

For one, you have to use a bicycle. For the other, you can use a race car.

It's just a regular martini, but you drink it all alone in your house.

The bartender said, “don’t you mean a Martini?” I glared at him and said, “I only want one!”

, and one of them said to the waiter:

- Two martini please.

The waiter:

- Dry?

- Nein! Zwei!

I asked the bartender if he knows how to make a Martini? He said "Don't come here with your queries!"

The bartender asks Smith if he wants a martini; he says "I think so." The bartender then asks Descartes if he'd like a martini as well, and Descartes says "I think not"...

...and then he disappeared

(Courtesy of my history teacher)

The bartender asks, "Dry?" He replies, "Nein, just one."

The bartender asks, "Olive or twist?"

Same as any martini but with no Olive or Twist.

The bartender asks “Don’t you mean a martini?”

In response the Roman says “If I wanted a double I’d have asked for it!”

He says, “I’ll have a martinus.”

Bartender asks “You mean martini?”

Julius Caesar replies “If I wanted more than one, I would have asked for it.”

And asks for a martini

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The barman says "Olive or Twist ?"