Just heard there is a geezer down the market selling Oxford vaccination for £2 each
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
All the hair dressers all closed due to covid, so I start looking to the black market for a haircut
But I heard they were under cutting everyone
The first time I saw her, at her honey stall at the farmers market, I knew right away...
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.
Her: What can I do for you?
Me: I'm looking for a date.
Her: Oh, what kind of dates?
Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)
People ask me why I keep bring my sled to places like yard sales and the flea market
I tell them the answer is simple...Toboggan!
My wife didn’t like my idea to market a line of belts with little clocks built into the buckle.
She said it was a waist of time.
What do you call finding cheap eyeballs on the black market
Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?
A peasant's wife told him to go get milk for the baby. Dutifully, he went to the market with the baby and brought home a hefty jug of milk. "You've forgotten the baby!" she exclaimed.
"No I haven't... I got milk for the baby!"
I'm closely watching how this contested election affects the volatility of the stock markets.
I call it the "Al Gore Rhythm" method.
Why does the Dalai Lama love to play the stock market?
I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..
.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.
Today, I asked who left their cold-smoked herrings on the ground at the market but no one answered.
The stock market is confusing for me but
It makes cents for someone else
We went to a new market today for the first time. Dad was very impressed.
He said, “You’re telling me a flea runs this market?!”
I got kicked out of the Farmer’s Market today.
I was disturbing the peas.
My wife and I went down to the seafood market, but I didn't trust the employees there.
They seemed a little fishy.
Coronavirus having a devastating impact on the stock market
Had some friends over and they were telling me they are in the market for a new telescope...
I told them “ be carful telescope salesmen can see you coming a mile away!”
It makes sense that Ford is struggling in the US market
They just lost their Focus
Apparently, there's a big market for an expensive breed of cow that only eats marijuana plants.
Did you hear that Tesla is entering the lifestyle brand market with a new cologne?
Gonna brew and market my own beer, and call it “Responsibly.”
Advertising slogan will be a doddle: “Please drink Responsibly.”
Dubstep keeps playing at the fisher’s market.
Honestly, people need to stop dropping the bass.
With market going into recession
Is it crude to make oil jokes now ?
I heard Apple are trying to seize the market on immaterial groups of dolphins
I think they called them airpods
If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.
Then you’ll have a little bit of company.
I’m ready to bring my injectable coronavirus cleansers and gamma-ray beds to market
This is going to make a killing
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...
My local meat market is offering Wookie meat
My friend is trying to market his design for an invisible aeroplane.
I can’t see it taking off.
Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”.
So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.
I've been in the market for a new whiteboard, but I don't think I can trust the online reviews.
They all say the product is remarkable.
Found at a local World Market
Between the free falling stock markets, the Covid 19 pandemic, and locusts in Africa, there is one silver lining.
At least tomorrow isn’t Friday the thirteen... yikes!
I just asked my dad to give me a crash course on the stock market
He said, “Well it’s crashing on course right now.”
Wife and I got a flat tire driving back from the farmer’s market
I should have bought asparagus
Stock markets plunge over Coronavirus fears, some portfolios hit more than others..
... Mainly Spread markets.
What happened to the lions neck at the Chinese market?
Is there an underground, black-market for toilet paper?
The market right now reminds me of that N'SYNC song
The stock market probably do better in the winter...
More people have colds = more people eating soup.
Hydroponic herb growers are the next big thing in the stock market!
Ever noticed that every market in Africa... is a black market
Just heard there's a guy down Borough market selling Oxford vaccinations for £2 each...
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