This Christmas, I marinated the turkey for 7 days and no one noticed.

I should have known better than to make week sauce.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Marine iguana's should be as legal as alcohol!
πŸ‘︎ 200
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hello_stranger-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What's another word for a marine biologist?

Afishyonado

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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I don't think Marine Biology is the right major for me.

My grades are below C-level

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked a Marine if he knew about Egyptian gods.

He said, β€œwho, ra?”

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vehiclesales
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm quitting my soul sucking corporate job to be a marine biologist.

I've gotta find some porpoise in my life.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlooregardQKazooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do marine biologists make good philosophers?

Because they spend their lives search for porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nalydpsycho
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What marine animal is famous for their alternative hits?

Manta Del Ray

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthatbrownguy91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My best friend growing up is a famous author of marine life books now.

He's mostly known for his polyp fiction.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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Where do Marine animals go to get help with a drinking problem?

Alcoholics Anemones

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpaceCadetBob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the name of the janitor at the French marine biology school?

Jacques Custodian

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bridgeonjames
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What are the requirements to work in marine biology?

Your grades need to be above C-level

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evac95
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Nate's mother asked him to delay the marriage by an year...

she wanted his fiance to mari_nate.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/abionic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Where did the Marine Biologist work from during the quarantine?

His offish

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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I don't understand marine mammals

What porpoise do they serve

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kiddiediddler69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Isn't all marine traffic 'current'?
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tanjently
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why should you stay away from any marine life that has been removed from the water?

Because they're all de-seas'd animals.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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What do you call a prostitute that works the crows nest on a pirate ship?

LAND HOE!!!

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SassyTurtlebat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The marine biology seminars weren't for entertainment,

but were created for educational porpoises.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GobAteMyHamster
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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I am going to go to school to become a marine biologist at age 55...

I know it sounds fishy, but I really think it will help to be less crabby, get out out of my shell, and have a porpoise in life.

After all, the world is my oyster!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tripsteur
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
People get mad at me for always making marine animal puns.

I said, "Sorry, I don't do it on porpoise"

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
An Ex Marine took over a Ballerina Studio near my house

He's a tough coach but he keeps them on their toes.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Q_Sensei
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
πŸ”₯ Legalize Marine Iguana πŸ”₯
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirenyderp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Some marine biologists argued about how best to handle angry dolphins.

The were working at cross porpoises.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mwmillman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Marine with IQ of 160?

A platoon

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elver-Galarga7
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How do Marine Animals pass new Legislation? reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Malminas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a marine mammal in a vat of dark blue paint?

A navy seal.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tillmonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
If a Navy doctor performs surgery on a Marine’s knee

It’s a ...πŸ˜πŸ•Ά.....😎 Joint Operation.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phil-Prince
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
🚨︎ report
A Marine Biology student was compiling a list of all the sea creatures they could find on Wikipedia. The next day they handed it in to their Professor, who took one look at it and said..

Lacks Cetacean..

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Irorii
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
🚨︎ report
The marine biologist tripped and the chum bucket spilled all over everything

It was an offal mess

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My son is a Marine Corps reservist

Or as I call him, a submarine.

πŸ‘︎ 63
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChaoticFather
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I found an enormous marine mammal that weighs 2.2lbs.

It's a kilo whale.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I read earlier that the zoo was installing an exercise equipment addition to the marine mammal exhibit to help make the animals stronger.

They're going to have a bunch of flex seals on their hands.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchitzPopinov719
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Italian marine biologist say when asked to identify an eel?

"That's a moray."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GlowWorm23
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the marine join a pottery class?

Because his Sargeant said he should learn about the claymore.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SchecterHXC
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
🚨︎ report
The marine instructor told us to stand down at the firing range, so I unloaded my weapon.

Yes, it was a strange time to masturbate and eventually lead to my dishonorable discharge.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the marine biologist travel to the UK?

He wanted to see Wales.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got lost sailing from Marin County to Catalina Island?

He left his chart in San Francisco.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eroe777
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Why don't Swedish people need to worry about security in marine events?

Because they scan the navy in

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BeardedDeath
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2017
🚨︎ report
There is one animal in the ocean that marine biologists are refusing to release any date on. Apparently, it’s a sea crit.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
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I retired from marine biology today...

Now my life has no porpoise.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/breadispain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2017
🚨︎ report
For my Bbq I decided to expirement by marinate all the meat in THC oil

The steaks have never been higher.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubeykeebler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
🚨︎ report

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