Where's popcorn?
Here we go again
"Alpaca lunch for youβ
...but Papua New Guinea.
but I was fired. They said I had limited PASTA-bilities.
but most grow four
He pasta way
Yo mama so fat, she couldnβt even cross the road!
Feet are low...
My dad: βYour brother just sent me a message saying heβd seen the new Mamma Mia, I sent him a photo of me and the new carβ
Me: β.....β
My dad:βI told him heβd now seen the new Papa Kia tooβ
So you're all going to know some personal info about me: my middle name is Mansfield.
My youngest daughter is obsessed with middle names. She'll ask complete strangers what their middle name is. Not their name, not their surname, just their middle name.
She asked (again) what my middle name is, so I replied
> Mansfield
She said "Well I'm going to call mamma's middle name is Ladysfield... and mine Girlsfield"
...
At three she out dad-joked me
Mamma MIA!
My dad had a real goofy and dadly sense of humor. He past a way about 4 years ago but all the jokes here remind me of the ones he used to make. I'm smiling so hard as I go through these.
One of my favorites was the mole joke: One day a house near a molehill was making pancakes. Daddy mole comes up, sniffs, and says,"I smell pancakes." Mamma mole pops up next to him, sniffs, and says I smell pancakes too!" Baby mole hears his parents but can't get past their rear ends. So he says,"All I smell is molasses!"
7 year old me was in tears every time!
Dad: "hey, you seen Joe around?"
Me: "joe....? Joe who?"
Dad: "JOE MAMMA!!"
I mean, he has said it so many times, we just call my mom joe sometimes....
My teenage daughter it's grounded from her phone, and is trying to explain to her mamma what haircut she wants. She asked "can I show you what the haircut looks like?" to which her mom replied, "yeah sure, draw me a picture."
Edit Kind of a Mom joke
Dad : Joe
Me: Joe who?
Dad : JOE MAMMA
My dad did this everytime his friend Joe came to the house. I think she enjoyed the joke as much as I did.
