My Dadβs sister got eaten by a lion with a long nose
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
What is long, rigid, flexible and has the letters p,e,n,I,s?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 10 2021
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, thereβs a long break in the ledge they canβt cross. βSomething for this I have.β Yoda says.
He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.
He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.
When they get back to Yodaβs hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yodaβs garden.
βSomething I have for this.β Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.
Yoda and Luke return to Yodaβs home, where Yoda looks through his bag. Heβs used all his forks but one, he discovers.
βThatβs ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. βIβll write us a note reminding us to buy more.β
So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.
He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.
βMaster Yoda!β he asks. βWhat did I do wrong?β
Yoda replies sagely, βA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!β
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︎ May 04 2020
Why is a giraffeβs neck so long?
Because itβs head is so far away from itβs body.
π︎ 12
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︎ Oct 27 2020
What human body part is long, hard, bendable, most useful when erect, and contains the letters p,n,e,s,i?
π︎ 40
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︎ Apr 19 2020
Itβs been a long running tradition for my family to, once a year, jog to the nearest clothes store and back
I guess it just runs in the jeans
π︎ 5
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︎ Jun 29 2020
Friend 1: So howβs your long distance relationship going?
Friend 2: So far, so good
π︎ 31
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︎ Jul 03 2020
This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad-joke pun...and itβs amazing
π︎ 532
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︎ Sep 09 2019
What do you call a snake thatβs exactly 3.14 meters long?
π︎ 31
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︎ Mar 19 2020
Whatβs big, long and has cum in it?
π︎ 10
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Thatβs it, Iβve observed long enough!! Now itβs time to take:
π︎ 2k
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︎ Sep 08 2018
A girl Iβm dating owns a bakery and works long hours. I donβt think itβs going to work out.
π︎ 106
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
Whatβs a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
π︎ 64
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︎ Dec 11 2019
What do you call a snake thatβs 3.14 meters long
A Ο-thon
Source:
https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/9swx4t/math_joke/
π︎ 393
π
︎ Oct 31 2018
Itβs funny because the dog has a long nose
π︎ 38
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︎ Sep 18 2019
I have long shelf in my kitchen where i put the meat at the top. Itβs safe to say...
π︎ 2
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︎ Jan 30 2020
Whatβs the best kind of booze if you want to dance all night long?
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 18 2020
Itβs the end of work on Friday, itβs been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 14 2020
How Long is a Chinese manβs name.
π︎ 57
π
︎ Jul 06 2019
Whatβs long, brown and sticky?
π︎ 21
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︎ Jul 04 2019
Iβve been working a long time. My job is hard, unfulfilling and honestly, doesnβt pay that great. I think itβs time for a change of pace for me. Iβve decided to go into a completely different direction and become a pig rancher.
Itβs the only way I can bring home the bacon.
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 09 2019
Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, thereβs a long break in the ledge they canβt cross...
reddit.com/r/Jokes/commenβ¦
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 21 2019
βIβm afraid I have some very bad news,β the doctor says to this guy. βYouβre dying, and you donβt have much time left.β βOh, thatβs terrible!β says the man. βGive it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?β βTenβ¦β the doctor says slowly.
βNine... eightβ¦ seven...β
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 16 2019
Whatβs long and hard and full of semen?
π︎ 4
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︎ Oct 13 2019
This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad joke...and itβs truly amazing
https://i.imgur.com/O6ePcMG.jpg
I canβt imagine what that guy is doing now...what left is there to do in life after reaching the pinnacle of dad jokes.
An inspiration to us all.
π︎ 30
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︎ Sep 09 2019
After years of trying I have decided to give up on my life long dream of becoming a world renowned spaghetti chef. Itβs time to move on and stop living in ...
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jun 01 2019
Itβs ok to ask about another manβs rod so long as heβs fishing.
π︎ 6
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︎ Feb 19 2019
TIL: Thereβs a long lost episode where Superman nearly dies because of an ill-fitting costume.
π︎ 26
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︎ Jun 09 2019
I was about to play cards after a long dayβs work, but I found the aces missing.
I just canβt deal with this any more.
π︎ 38
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︎ Nov 12 2018
The Sunβs Long Lost Dad
Sun - βHey Earthβ
Earth - βHey Sunβ
Sun - β...β
Earth - β...β
Sun - βDad?β
π︎ 3
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︎ Jan 31 2019
Drives by railroad crossing: a train came through here not to long ago. Itβs tracks are still here
π︎ 3
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︎ Jun 26 2019
Does anyone for how long ground beef has to be on the floor before itβs ready?
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 12 2019
What do you call a nose thatβs 12 inches long?
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 02 2019
After a long, hard dayβs worth of work I love to wind down by watching low-effort zombie movies and tv shows.
Theyβre all pretty brainless.
π︎ 8
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︎ Apr 10 2019
βDad, do you think mom will ever come back?β βWho knows son, women are fickle creatures.β βSheβs been gone so long. Do you miss her?β
βI do son, but men arenβt allowed in the ladies changing rooms.β
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 22 2019
Whatβs long and sticky?
π︎ 2
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︎ May 21 2019
Whatβs long hard and full of seamen?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 22 2019
What do you call a snake thatβs 3.14 metres long?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 11 2018
Whatβs long, brown, and sticky?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Dec 24 2017
What do you call a snake thatβs 3.14 metres long?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 11 2018
How long is a chinamanβs name
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 16 2018
Why canβt you have a nose thatβs 12 inches long?
because then it would be a foot.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 27 2018
What do you call a snake thatβs 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 14 2018
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