42 Hilarious Long s Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

What’s it called when I sneak my favorite soda into a long, boring musical?

Fanta of the opera.

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👤︎ u/zedhead0628

📅︎ Feb 07 2021

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My Dad’s sister got eaten by a lion with a long nose

It was an aunt-eater

👍︎ 7

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👤︎ u/geoswede

📅︎ Jan 04 2021

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Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. “Something for this I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yoda’s garden.

“Something I have for this.” Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yoda’s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. He’s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

“That’s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. “I’ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.”

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

“Master Yoda!” he asks. “What did I do wrong?”

Yoda replies sagely, “A Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!”

👍︎ 10k

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ May 04 2020

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Why is a giraffe’s neck so long?

Because it’s head is so far away from it’s body.

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👤︎ u/stuphoria

📅︎ Oct 27 2020

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What human body part is long, hard, bendable, most useful when erect, and contains the letters p,n,e,s,i?

Spine

👍︎ 41

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👤︎ u/ivytheblindhusky

📅︎ Apr 19 2020

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It’s been a long running tradition for my family to, once a year, jog to the nearest clothes store and back

I guess it just runs in the jeans

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👤︎ u/Routine_Palpitation

📅︎ Jun 29 2020

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Friend 1: So how’s your long distance relationship going?

Friend 2: So far, so good

👍︎ 34

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👤︎ u/twistyturtles

📅︎ Jul 03 2020

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This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad-joke pun...and it’s amazing

👍︎ 529

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👤︎ u/GreekAlphabetSoup

📅︎ Sep 09 2019

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What do you call a snake that’s exactly 3.14 meters long?

A πthon

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👤︎ u/gquinn18

📅︎ Mar 19 2020

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What’s big, long and has cum in it?

Cucumber

...your sick!

👍︎ 10

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👤︎ u/Ithinkhisnameis

📅︎ Apr 23 2020

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That’s it, I’ve observed long enough!! Now it’s time to take:

👍︎ 2k

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👤︎ u/A_Good_Alibi

📅︎ Sep 08 2018

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A girl I’m dating owns a bakery and works long hours. I don’t think it’s going to work out.

She’s too kneady.

👍︎ 108

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👤︎ u/boogerknows

📅︎ Nov 22 2019

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What’s a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze?

A shoe!

👍︎ 63

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👤︎ u/Daresun

📅︎ Dec 11 2019

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What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long

A π-thon

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/9swx4t/math_joke/

👍︎ 394

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👤︎ u/lorhill

📅︎ Oct 31 2018

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It’s funny because the dog has a long nose

👍︎ 39

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👤︎ u/CamisDum

📅︎ Sep 18 2019

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I have long shelf in my kitchen where i put the meat at the top. It’s safe to say...

The steaks are high.

👍︎ 2

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👤︎ u/The_improviser

📅︎ Jan 30 2020

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What’s the best kind of booze if you want to dance all night long?

Wild Twerky

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👤︎ u/brisquet

📅︎ Feb 18 2020

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It’s the end of work on Friday, it’s been a long week, and all my bones are just like the capital city of the Holy Roman Empire.

They’re Aachen.

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👤︎ u/Dymmesdale

📅︎ Feb 14 2020

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How Long is a Chinese man’s name.

No, it actually is.

👍︎ 55

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👤︎ u/labink

📅︎ Jul 06 2019

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What’s long, brown and sticky?

A stick.

👍︎ 22

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👤︎ u/VeryLastBison

📅︎ Jul 04 2019

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I’ve been working a long time. My job is hard, unfulfilling and honestly, doesn’t pay that great. I think it’s time for a change of pace for me. I’ve decided to go into a completely different direction and become a pig rancher.

It’s the only way I can bring home the bacon.

👍︎ 9

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👤︎ u/An_Imperfect_Guy

📅︎ Dec 09 2019

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Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross... reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/FarPrince

📅︎ Sep 21 2019

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“I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says to this guy. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “Give it to me straight, Doc. How long have I got?” “Ten…” the doctor says slowly.

“Nine... eight… seven...”

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/Jan_Tik

📅︎ Sep 16 2019

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What’s long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.

👍︎ 3

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👤︎ u/Princessofthepeen

📅︎ Oct 13 2019

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This guy pulled off a 5-month long con with a hidden fake mustache just to make a dad joke...and it’s truly amazing

https://i.imgur.com/O6ePcMG.jpg

I can’t imagine what that guy is doing now...what left is there to do in life after reaching the pinnacle of dad jokes.

An inspiration to us all.

👍︎ 28

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👤︎ u/GreekAlphabetSoup

📅︎ Sep 09 2019

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After years of trying I have decided to give up on my life long dream of becoming a world renowned spaghetti chef. It’s time to move on and stop living in ...