There was an article about Apple's newest meme locating software
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 24 2018
My dad's not allowed to speak Japanese, let alone teach the language. But there's nothing that says he can't teach Japanese cooking and geography. So far, I just learned the cooking tools and the location of the country.
This is Japan, this is ja-spatula, this is ja-whisk, this is ja-wok, this is ja-mixer, this is ja-fork, this is ja-spin, and these are ja-chopsticks.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 24 2021
I've created a toilet locator for those who have trouble finding one
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
Where is the GYM located at Hogwarts?
Right through the Dumbell Door
π︎ 272
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 23 2020
What do you call a superpower that lets you locate french pastries with your mind?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
I asked the librarian where the books on engine lubrication were located.
She said they were in the non-friction section.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
My dad knows exactly where everything is located in the store.
I am impressed with his shelf confidence.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 26 2020
Pixar is making a Finding Nemo sequel where he opens McDonaldβs locations on the ocean floor.
Itβs called The Flounder.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
What kind of meat is located on your shin
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
Dewey's doctor has been keeping track of all of his moles. The location and size of them. He's so thorough that he measures them all the way down to tenths.
He called it the Dewey deci-mole system..
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 14 2020
Why couldn't the man locate the bazaar on the map?
Because he forgot to market
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 06 2020
There was this shop in my hometown located where two streets met, they sold things like embalming tools and other specialty tools for working on dead bodies. This store was also known as....
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 08 2020
The man and the silver screw.
There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.
The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
Rocket wants to know your location
π︎ 99
π
︎ Sep 30 2019
They finally invented a golf ball that uses GPS signal to locate the hole, and then roll in.
Just dont put it your back pocket.
π︎ 103
π
︎ Nov 27 2019
This location is not suitable for placement
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 06 2019
Let me give you my exact location. I am
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 28 2018
DROP YOUR BEST PUNS FOR HISTORY DRINKING GAME
I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.
Let's see what you can do!
What you need to know about the game:
- You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
- Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
- You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.
That's basically it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
When the teacher asked where the apple's seeds are located, little Johnny said "the center."
She said, "that's almost core-rect."
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
I wanted to rearrange everything in our kitchen so we could locate everything without having to think about it.
But that might be too counter intuitive.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 07 2020
Where was Solomonβs temple located?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 03 2020
Barring other locations, I found the time for a drink
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
Area 51 wants to know your location
π︎ 27
π
︎ Jan 17 2019
Which woman does always know location of her husband?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 01 2019
I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
π︎ 110
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
A police officer, notorious for bad spelling, is set to interrogate three theives, Tim, Bob, and Joe.
When asked who he thinks will give up the location stolen goods, he replys βOnly Time will tellβ
π︎ 15
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
how do you locate Will Smith during a snowstorm?
just look for the fresh prints...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 26 2019
So I was given the ability to fly the other day, decided to give it a whirl over the pacific. Little did I know how tired I was getting but just in the knick of time I saw a remote location that looked deserted off the coast, so what do I do?
π︎ 159
π
︎ Jan 19 2017
What did the bird do when it found a spider?
It tweeted out the location of the website.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
There were two friends and one of them wanted to open up a gelato shop.
When the friend finally got the location to run the shop he tried to get some experienced and dedicated employees. However, he soon realized that all the good employees for a gelato shop were already working at some nearby locations. So he had to deal with some mediocre people who didnβt care that much about gelatos. Then a day before the opening of the shop the person who was supposed to provide the materials for the gelatos called in as sick. Finally there were also some teenagers who decided to steal some of the decorations.
When the friend told this story the other friend then said,
#βMan, you have gelat of problems.β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
The sushi chef located the buzzing noise
π︎ 90
π
︎ Jun 10 2018
Where is Macau located?
π︎ 213
π
︎ Feb 02 2018
What do you call the awkward quiet that comes with sending someone your location on WhatsApp and they do not respond?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 11 2018
I'm going to start a photo essay entitled "Images Of A Jar Of Peanut Butter In Unusual Locations"
I'll even submit it to National Geographic, they'll give me a full-page spread.
bonus peanut butter
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 30 2018
Located at farsta centrum - sweden
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 27 2018
My dad just dropped this one as I'm trying to locate a magizine to roll up
Me: Ew Dad there's a beetle on the wall!
Dad: Wait which one?
Me: The wall right across from me!
Dad: No! Which Beatle? Ringo? John?
He hasn't stopped laughing and won't help me get the beetle.
π︎ 904
π
︎ Apr 05 2014
where is the bathroom for I.T people located?
π︎ 359
π
︎ Oct 28 2016
I went fishing yesterday and heard on the news that the fish in the location carry a disease
I sure hope i dont catch it
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 10 2019
Where is the flat earth headquarter's located at?
on the other side of the globe
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 30 2018
A tourist at The seaside came to me and asked where he could find whales.
I told him that it's located a bit West from England.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 03 2020
Where in Hogwarts is the GYM located?
Right through the Dumbell door.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
Where is the gym located at Hogwarts?
Just out the dumbbell door.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
I can't find the control for my TV.
It must be in a remote location.
π︎ 174
π
︎ Jun 27 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.