A student baked a loaf of bread for foods class.
At the end of the class, his teacher returned the loaf and told him that he had gotten an A.
The student said: “Thanks, that’s just what I kneaded.”
The loaf of bread I bought today is obsolete.
I chipped my tooth on a stale French loaf.
True story: I sent my dad a picture of the loaf of bread I made witha bread machine. He instantly responded with :
I found a funny looking loaf of bread in the water...
quit loafing around, i have a plane to get to
I go to the store and buy 2 eggs, a loaf of bread, and some milk. The cashier says “you must be single” and I respond with “how did you know?”
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
I went to the store to buy a french loaf and the clerk asked me "how do you want this to be put away?"
I won a loaf a bread today.
I guess that makes me the bread winner of the family.
loaf-i girl. (full credit to u/F-inthechatguy)
“Back in the day...” my dad started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well. But today...” he lamented...
“Wherever you go, there are those darn cameras!"
How do you feed 1000 people with one loaf of bread?
You cut the ends and now you have endless bread.
Courtesy of my 12 year old daughter.
I would do anything to get more customers at my restaurant to order the meat loaf.
What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of Irish bread at once
I've lost loads of weight, just by wearing bread around my head...
What did the loaf of bread say when the grocery bagger squished it?
I just LOAF that suitcase, and i KNEAD one now...
What do you call a loaf of sourdough baked by a redhead?
What a courteous loaf of bread!
Thanks, it's been well risen.
What is the difference between a cat on a couch and a dim witted cow?
One is a cat loaf and the other is a cattle oaf.
I went to the zoo and all I saw was a single loaf of bread in the middle of one exhibit
The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.
A baker was preparing the dough for a loaf of his famous bread, while his son watched.
He slid the loaf into the oven to bake. He told his son, “This bread is for a very special occasion, so I’m going to make a back-up.” He then plopped an extra loaf’s worth of dough onto the table, sliced it into two equal pieces, and immediately put them away. The boy asked, “Dad, why’d you do that?” The baker smiled and told his son, “It’s better to halve it and not knead it.”
Short joke my dad told me today
“All I’m saying is if you don’t like Pizza, you’re just a weirdough”
Since the start of the pandemic, my friend the baker shut down his bakery and happily idles the day away...
He always liked loafing around.
I want to bake all my bread from now on.
You can say is a loaf-ty goal.
My friend is such a slacker. He does his work and then loafs the rest of the day...
He's making good money being a baker tho...
I loaf myself for not thinking of this sooner
My French friend said “HELP! I’m in pain!”
Now I just need to get him out of that loaf
My poor friend recently became a baker.
He really kneaded the dough.
What does one bread say to another?
I had this loaf but have since replaced it.
What do bread loafs say to each other when they meet?
What Do Breads Say When They're Having Sex?
On a loaf of bread I bought
I really enjoy opening bags of bread,
There’s always a great twist at the end.
A wife asked her husband to go to the store and pick up a loaf of bread
“If they have eggs, get a dozen” she said. A half hour later, the husband comes home with 12 loaves of bread
“Back in the day...” my grandfather started to say. “You could walk into a grocery store with $2 in your pocket and walk out with a loaf of bread, a dozen eggs and a bit of butter as well.”
“But today...” he continued. “Wherever you go, there are cameras...”
I went to the zoo today and saw a loaf of bread in one of the enclosures
Turns out it was bread in captivity
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