All day long my cat lazes around the house, saying he is hurt. I told him to quit being a hypochondriac

but he just keeps saying "me ow"

👍︎ 47
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📅︎ Jun 10 2020
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Lazing in bed and wife suddenly pushes on my chest like she's trying to resuscitate me while making a "hrrn" noise each time.

Me: Whoah, what gives?

Her: I have a pressing matter to discuss.

👍︎ 116
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📅︎ Oct 14 2014
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Father in Law showed me he's still got it today...

At the zoo watching otters laze around he turned to us and goes "on a sunny day like this i bet they're getting otter otter laying there!" I had to acknowledge it was pretty quick.

👍︎ 7
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📅︎ May 22 2016
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