I told him he should try out for American Idle
I'm half inclined to agree with them.
That the joke about the 5 minute walk to the pub can be posted NINE TIMES IN FOUR DAYS.
Why can't people just search the sub and check if something has been posted recently before posting? It's not difficult!
I know the sub doesn't have a specific rule about reposts, and the occasional repost allows people who missed a joke the first time to see it again, but this joke has moved into the realm of spam.
Please, admins, take action against this lazy, karma-whoring abuse of this sub.
Credit to u/echonight . This is a cross post from r/askreddit
There are two identical twin brothers that live together. One happens to be a well-respected dentist, and the other can't seem to keep a job. Instead of actively looking for work, he likes to sit around at home. One Saturday, the dentist is hungry, and puts his brother on the spot. He tells him to get off his lazy behind and go get them some food. After some protest, the lazy brother takes the car and leaves for the store. In the meantime, the dentist takes a nap on his day off. He turns off his phone so he won't be interrupted.
About 30 minutes later, the lazy brother gets into a head-on collision in the intersection by the grocery store. His vital signs are fading; he's unconscious and barely moving. An ambulance picks him up and rushes him to the hospital. He ends up in the Emergency Room under observation, but his condition is critical. They try calling his dentist brother, but he doesn't pick up because his phone is off.
The dentist wakes to a knock on the door. Suspecting a solicitor, he ignores it, but the knocking continues. Eventually, he resolves to get up and yell at the person at the door. When he does, he reveals--- the grim reaper. He is just as he appears in movies; a full skeleton underneath a tattered cloak.
The grim reaper swears. "Oh no! This always happens with identical twins".
"What do you mean?" asks the dentist.
"Well... if you must know, your brother was in a critical car accident, and I've come to take him to the underworld. I'm afraid his time on Earth has ended. I'll take my leave now."
The dentist is noticeably upset. He says "Wait! Isn't there some way I can challenge you for my brother's life? After all, YOU made the mistake. Certainly there must be a way I can bargain for his life."
The grim reaper asks "What do you have in mind?"
The dentist thinks. "How about a challenge? If I beat you, you let my brother go free."
The grim reaper laughs. "I will beat you in any challenge. What challenge do you propose?"
The dentist smiles. "I propose we see who has the cleanest teeth. 5 minute of brushing each, then we decide."
"Very well" says the grim reaper, who makes his way to the bathroom.
Once there, he pulls back his tattered cloak to reveal his skull. It's glistening. He takes a toothbrush from the bathroom, loads it with toothpaste, and brushes. After 5 minutes, the shiniest teeth anyone has ever seen glisten and make the room bright. The grim reaper gr
... keep reading on reddit ➡Brother: I'm gonna burn that shirt.
Me: What, it's my lazy, around-the-house shirt.
Dad (to my brother): What day is it?
Brother: Sunday.
Dad: There you go, it's a holey shirt.
The son is lazy and lets his dog shit wherever it wants and doesn't clean it up. One day the dad gets fed up. He says to his son "clean up your dog's shit, it smells offal."
My girlfriend and I decide to watch through every Peter Pan movie made to date one lazy Sunday because we were going to see the play later in the week
Me: Alright babe, one more movie to go and we're done!
Her: Can we please do something else for a bit, we've been watching Peter Pan all day.
Me: Sooo... you're all petered out....?
So, I was visiting my parents for a few days from college and dad decided to order pizza. I let him take my car since it was blocking his car in the driveway, and we're lazy like that.
So he comes home, and says: "Son, I filled the car up for you!"
Me: "Awesome! Thanks Da-
Him: "With the smell of pizza.
Heheheheheheh."
