The Science of The Lambs.
In a field with lots of sheep and lambs roaming around, a giant wolf appeared and swallowed whole a baby lamb. The lamb whined and yelped nonstop for hours on end. After a while the wolf started getting sick, and yet the lamb yelped and whined ever louder.
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
How does a lamb, a drum, and a snake sound falling off a cliff?
Baa-dum-sss.
(Told by literally my dad)
I’m not surprised Silence of the Lambs won Oscars, its an offally good film
When Mary had a little lamb, the labor and delivery doctor was surprised...
When Old MacDonald had a farm, the doctor died of shock.
Why didn't Gordon Ramsey upvote the picture of the lamb Steak?
My daughter wants a boyfriend, but hasn't been asked out yet. To comfort her, I bought her a little lamb, and named it "Relation".
It's officially her first relationsheep.
Why didn't the lamb want to play with their friends?
He was a little sheep-ish.
First, I posted this on r/jokes but it didn't get much love. Then I realized I posted it on the wrong joke sub. Y'all love the punny jokes, so here you go:
Why are lamb chops a thing? Why do we have a food named after a baby animal?
Would you ever eat something called puppy steak? Or kitten burger? Or chick fillet?
oh wait.........
Credit goes to Matt from Studio C
A lamb, a drum, and a snake all fell off a cliff
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
What's the difference between Gordon Ramsay's favorite dish and a slow-running computer?
One is a rack of lamb, the other is a lack of RAM.
My kid (5) was running around saying 'Baa Baa I'm a lamb'
So I asked her to wear a plastic sheet, she goes to my wife and says her line again.
Baa Baa, I'm a lamb.
Wife: What's with the plastic sheet?
Me: She's been..... LAMBINATED
What do you call it when lambs fall down a mountain?
Who does a lamb go to if it has back pain?
Why did the lamb go to rehab?
Because he had a gambolling problem.
I made that up and I'm not even a dad.
Did you hear about the dwarf fortune teller that's on the lamb?
He's a small medium at large.
You want to hear a funny joke about a lamb?
Nah, honestly it's pretty sheep
Stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster
So I came across a word today in my reading that I had heard before and was able to deduce it's likely meaning based in the context it was used, however, to be safe, I looked it up anyway and while reading the book definition came up with what I hope is an original pun (phrase)...
Context: When someone is giving you a hard time you can say, "stop basting my Lamb, you lamb-baster"
lambaste - criticize (someone or something) harshly
My wife made a delicious lamb Dahl
I complimented her by saying it was the Dahl-i-Lamb-er of curries.
What do you call a frugal lamb?
So if Mary had Jesus, and Jesus was the Lamb of God...
Does that mean Mary had a little lamb?
I adopted a dog from a Blacksmith...
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the backdoor
I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit...
My lamb used to be really confident.
You know, up until the point where he started getting sheepish.
Saw an accident at a farm and then noticed two young sheep charging there with sirens on their heads.
They were the lamb-ulance
Did you hear about the sheep riding bandit?
They say he's still on the lamb
Dinner recently with two dishes; one w/ Lamb and one w/ Rabbit.
The waitress asked which one I liked better. I pointed to the rabbit dish and said, "This one, by a hare".
True story.
I saw a sheep in a swimsuit driving a sports car today.
It must have been a Lamb bikini.
My brother asked me to cater his wedding. He wants over 200 servings of roasted lamb chops.
Ain't nobody got thyme for that
Why can't the police catch the wool
At what piece of furniture does the Silence of the Lambs villain deliver his speeches?
Was making roast lamb for dinner and dropped the tray out of the oven .
Lamb Stew
Her: I'll make the lamb today, I need to put some clothes on anyway.
Me: You need to wear clothes in front of the lamb? Feeling a little sheepish?
What kind of car would a lamb drive?
Mary had a little lamb.
She also had a bear.
I often saw her little lamb, but i never saw her bare.
A lamb, a drum and a snake fell off a cliff
What sound did the lamb, the drum and the snake make when you threw it from a cliff?
A lamb, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff
What do you call a car being driven by a sheep wearing a swim-suit?
I just saw a car being driven by a sheep in a swimsuit.
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