Kindergartens Puns

but he did okay with one through nine.

Thankfully, it only caused minor injuries.

You can watch the kids, but don't Overwatch them.

That's just creepy...

Kid2: no, my parents are straight.

In hindsight, the small pupils were a dead giveaway...

The Elf-abet

A kid resisted a rest

Dad just waves and says, "Bison".

If you ever end up having to entertain kids around kindergarten age (5 or 6 years old) here are some jokes you can use.

Write the letter Y on a board or piece of paper. Ask, "Can you tell me what this letter is?" and they'll say "Y", to which you respond, "Because I want to know how smart you are."

After a bit of back and forth you can look exasperated that they don't get it (when of course it is you who don't get it), then say, "Okay here's an easy one, can you tell me what this word is?" Write down the word NO and of course the kids will say "NO" and you can say, "You don't know what this word is?" or "You know what it is but you won't tell me?" Kids usually think it's hilarious that an adult can be this dense.

For kids who can spell words, you can use ones like "duck" and then when they say it you can duck as if something is coming at you.

They can make little things count.

"Oh yeah? How'd you know?"
"You have small pupils..."
Told to me by the octogenarian Navy vet at breakfast today. He then said when he told that joke last, they asked him to leave.

It still hasn't stuck.

"Elementary, my dear watts son."

It made him ABC sick.

Prius-chool

I started working as a teacher's assistant in a kindergarten class this year and am loving it so far.

Last week, a kid said to me, "Mr. Xy, I'm hungry." I responded with the classic, "Hi hungry, I'm Mr. Xy." The entire table I was working with erupted in laughter - they had never heard that joke before. I was 100% expecting a groan from them. Since then, almost everyday, the kids set me up to tell it again.

"How was school?"

"We had gym."

"Gym who?"

She tells me to look at the squirrel darting across the street.

Me: Look honey, she goes to this elementree too. It's an all-squirrels school.

Kid: silence

The Elf-abet