In kindergarten, my son had a pop quiz on numbers. He got ten wrong.

but he did okay with one through nine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MelodicSasquatch
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2021
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Did you hear about the kindergarten where the roof collapsed?

Thankfully, it only caused minor injuries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Andrelse
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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What did the kindergarten teacher say to the kindergarten security guard?

You can watch the kids, but don't Overwatch them.

That's just creepy...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnusualPete
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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First day of NYC kindergarten: kid1: are you from Queens?

Kid2: no, my parents are straight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/godofbiscuitssf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
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My son’s kindergarten teacher was arrested for heroin possession...

In hindsight, the small pupils were a dead giveaway...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
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What do Elves Learn in kindergarten?

The Elf-abet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shaho99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2020
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The police stormed a kindergarten today.

A kid resisted a rest

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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
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A family of buffalo are sending their boy off to kindergarten. The teary-eyed mom is hugging her kid.

Dad just waves and says, "Bison".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MexElf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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A dadjoke set for the kindergarten crowd

If you ever end up having to entertain kids around kindergarten age (5 or 6 years old) here are some jokes you can use.

Write the letter Y on a board or piece of paper. Ask, "Can you tell me what this letter is?" and they'll say "Y", to which you respond, "Because I want to know how smart you are."

After a bit of back and forth you can look exasperated that they don't get it (when of course it is you who don't get it), then say, "Okay here's an easy one, can you tell me what this word is?" Write down the word NO and of course the kids will say "NO" and you can say, "You don't know what this word is?" or "You know what it is but you won't tell me?" Kids usually think it's hilarious that an adult can be this dense.

For kids who can spell words, you can use ones like "duck" and then when they say it you can duck as if something is coming at you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dmethvin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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What's a good quality for a kindergarten teacher to have?

They can make little things count.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whatisfreewill
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2019
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I can tell by your eyes you teach kindergarten...

"Oh yeah? How'd you know?"
"You have small pupils..."
Told to me by the octogenarian Navy vet at breakfast today. He then said when he told that joke last, they asked him to leave.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jmac0585
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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Since kindergarten people have been telling me to use less glue.

It still hasn't stuck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xphurrious
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2017
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If I were to change my last name, I'd change it to Watts. That way, if I ever have a boy of my own, when he asks where he's going on his first day of kindergarten, I get to say...

"Elementary, my dear watts son."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/f_n_a_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2018
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Why did the Pirate hate kindergarten?

It made him ABC sick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farqwarr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2018
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Where do hippies send their children before kindergarten?

Prius-chool

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πŸ‘€︎ u/therewasnoblood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2018
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[Meta] The joys of working in a kindergarten class

I started working as a teacher's assistant in a kindergarten class this year and am loving it so far.

Last week, a kid said to me, "Mr. Xy, I'm hungry." I responded with the classic, "Hi hungry, I'm Mr. Xy." The entire table I was working with erupted in laughter - they had never heard that joke before. I was 100% expecting a groan from them. Since then, almost everyday, the kids set me up to tell it again.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderCunningham
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2016
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Finally got to tell a dad joke on my kindergarten grade daughter I've been waiting 5 years to pull off.

"How was school?"

"We had gym."

"Gym who?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MaverickTenSays
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2016
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Dropping my daughter off at Kindergarten

She tells me to look at the squirrel darting across the street.

Me: Look honey, she goes to this elementree too. It's an all-squirrels school.

Kid: silence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mgbesq
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2015
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What do elves learn in Kindergarten?

The Elf-abet

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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