If another word for student is 'pupil' ...

Do you call someone who's learning to manage sex workers a 'pimple'?

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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How many pupils does a teacher have?

2

What did you expect?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anonymous8776
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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Good pupils always dot their eyes.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/churniglow
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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You'll be buried with small pupils if you pass away before dusk.

But not if you die late.

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gold_hatted_lover
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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I just found out that your pupil is a hole

Now I have a hole nother problem to worry about.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grindingslimes
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Them crazy pupils!

A cross eyed teacher lost her job.

She could not control her pupils

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πŸ‘€︎ u/capngloval
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I was teaching in the classroom when I suddenly started touching one of my pupils.

The itching in my eye was really out of control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2019
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The eyes of a seal pup are pure black because they don't go to school. Instead they spend their time clubbing, so...no pupils. (x post /r/ShittyAnimalFacts)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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My optometrist had my pupils dilated today

It was an eye-opening experience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_england
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2016
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Which part of our body lives the longest?

Pupils...they dilate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anvesh_parab
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Which body part dies last ?

The eyes, because they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Visionaries
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seawavegown
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to a strip club for blind people

The girls there were dancing like nobody was watching

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/imalilfatgirl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2019
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What do you call someone who dedicates their life to the study of the eye?

A pupil!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are eye jokes worse than other jokes?

They're cornea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOtherQue
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
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My son’s kindergarten teacher was arrested for heroin possession...

In hindsight, the small pupils were a dead giveaway...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the blind teacher say the bad student?

"Great, now I have 3 useless pupils.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rslashhuman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report
From miss 11: What did the teacher say to the eyeballs?

Good morning pupils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NZn3rd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
A recent study shows that students of pot smoking professors live longer than average.

Their pupils die late.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Can a cross eyed teacher control his pupils?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SMsyrris
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why was the teacher crossed eyed?

Because they couldn't control their pupils.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlankPhotos
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend with the lazy eye just lost his job as a teacher.

He had a real hard time controlling his pupils.

πŸ‘︎ 46
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPotency
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
🚨︎ report
After you die, what part of your body is the last to stop working?

Your pupils because they dilate...

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
When you die, which part of your body is the last to die?

Pupils. They dilate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nikoklis
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher?

He couldn't control his pupils.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mojo884ever
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
When you die which body part dies the last?

Your pupils, they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-_-STRANGER-_-
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher

He couldn't control his pupils

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did teacher with crossed eyes get fired?

Because he couldn't control his pupils

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/379447984
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
When you die, which part of the body is the last one to stop working?

The pupils. They dilate

πŸ‘︎ 214
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HappyLlamaJamma
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
🚨︎ report
The crosseyed history teacher

Could not control her pupils.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timned88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the cross-eyed teacher say to the Dean?

I can’t control my pupils!

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FisforBigOof
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
After you die, what’s the last part of your body that stops working?

Your Pupils. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 180
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TearDesire
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
After you die, what part of the human body is the last to stop working?

Your pupils; they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/succdicc69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What part of your body dies last?

Your pupils! They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who got fired?

He couldn’t control his pupils.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KiIIOurDemons
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
After you die, what part of your body is the last to stop functioning?

Your pupils. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shibathefox
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad said this after an eye appointment...

"I should be a teacher."

"Why?"

"Because my pupils are doing great!"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ComputerGeek1100
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2016
🚨︎ report
After you die, what part of your body is the last to stop working...?

Your pupils. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/w00dw0rk3r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
🚨︎ report
When you die, what part of your body stops working last?

Your pupils because they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/698969
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2019
🚨︎ report
After you die, what part of your body is the last to stop working?

Your pupils. They dilate

πŸ‘︎ 91
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StumpySequoia
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the teacher who lost an eye?

They had to let him go. He only had one pupil.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmotionallyPained
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
When you die, which is the last part of your body to stop working?

Your pupils. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adon111
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
🚨︎ report
After you die, what part of you body is the last to stop working?

Your pupils. They dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 53
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCuteInExecute
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Two eyes are resting on a face when one says to the other, β€œBetween you and me, something smells.”
πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BurtReynoldsJr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2017
🚨︎ report

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