I keep asking iris why some people have dyslexia, but she won't answer.

Maybe my iPhone is just broken.

πŸ‘︎ 710
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend told me a joke about the covering of the iris. Sure, I laughed...

But it was cornea as ever.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
🚨︎ report
People get mad that I'm able to control my iris using nothing but extraocular muscles

but that's how eye roll

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmshady
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the Iris detective say after resting his case?

Iris my case.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NaifAlqahtani
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2019
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandma is 80% Irish.

People call her Iris.

πŸ‘︎ 379
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Which body part dies last ?

The eyes, because they dilate.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the blind man fall into the well?

He did not see that well

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cringe-God2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know I like dad jokes about eyes?

The cornea the better

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tungur_Knivur2020
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My husband wrote a very heartwarming birthday message for me on Facebook. This was my response
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xomati
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I'd like to tell an Ear, Nose, or mouth joke...

But eye jokes are so much cornea..

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TedFlowsby
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2017
🚨︎ report
My optometrist had my pupils dilated today

It was an eye-opening experience.

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_england
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2016
🚨︎ report
When making ocular jokes, the cornea the better.

It can be pretty iris-k if you and the audience don't see eye to eye though.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DisgruntledMoose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a retina's favourite name?

Iris

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_Weirder
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2017
🚨︎ report
My friend has a wooden eye

We were in high school and it was that time of year where the pupils are looking for prom dates.

Anyways, there is this girl, Iris, that goes there that was also date-less who had a hair-lip (cleft palette) and hoping to hear from my friend.

He walks up to her, and says, "Iris, would you like to go to prom with me?"

Iris was so excited, her cheeks flushed, a smile burst forth and she exclaims, "Would I?! Would I?!......"

My friend gets pissed and jabs his finger towards her as tears start streaming down one side of his face and he's yells, "HAIR-LIP! HAIR LIP!" And runs away bawling his eye out.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes my mother today

So my mum has a friend who's name is Iris and my mum was talking about how Iris forgot to buy tickets for something, of which i follow up with: well that's very iris-ponsible of her, groaning commenced

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tom555
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2014
🚨︎ report
Is there a really famous Celtic optical physicist...

...who credits his success to the luck of the iris?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CronoZero15
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
🚨︎ report
I just caught my mom and my cousin

My mom was busy trying to put contacts in and as she finally got them in, I sprung into action.

Me: What's the unfunny part of the eye?

Mom: The iris?

Cousin: The pupil?

Me: No, the cornea!

intense groaning

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elcielo17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn’t have the balls to do it.

I used to be afraid of hu

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandma is 80% Irish.

People call her Iris.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/the_houser
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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