Wife walked into the kitchen and caught me jamming out to some music this morning.
Her: "Why are you playing Air Guitar?"
Me: "Because my air piano is broken!"
Nailed it!
How do you make a jam sandwich?
Take two pieces of bread and jam them together!
What do you call a dinosaur traffic jam?
My girlfriend's mom just sent us a care package. From the kitchen she tells me "we have peach jam, we have strawberry jam, and we have blueberry jam"
Without missing a beat I responded with "oh that's cool, do we have any Pearl Jam?"
Fully expect to be single soon
What do you give your cattle when they wanna play a jam?
I love 90’s rock; I was listening to some Pearl Jam and realized
that it doesn’t get Eddie Vedder than this.
I hoped orange jam would arrive early.
What do cars spread on their toast?
I was wondering why music was coming from my printer...
apparently the paper was jamming.
What’s the difference between Jelly and Jam?
I’ve never jelly’d my finger in a door before
What’s an astronauts favorite drink?
Did you hear that you can't buy apple jam in stores anymore?
It's only available on iTunes now.
I grabbed my guitar and started a little jam with my coffee machine.
It asked if I knew any tunes using the descale.
I was stuck in a traffic jam...
It still amazes me how they get the jars that big.
A farmer attempted to tow a load of manure down the interstate at 5 pm. Of course, it caused a crash and traffic jam...
I can't believe he tried to pull this shit!
It’s weird- I can hear music coming from my printer lately
I think my paper’s jamming
Just got my wife in a traffic jam
We’re sat in traffic and the car in front has a “watch for motorbikes” bumper sticker on it.
Me: hmmmm watch for motorbikes
Wife: suspicious head turn
Me: must be one hell of an expensive watch
Wife: sigh
Today my brother slipped onto some rotten grape jelly.
I heard he was in a bad jam.
I once saw a ghost at the jam factory...
Man must not live by bread alone.
He must also have peanut butter.
I just read the absoute best book about Pearl Jam.
Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.
Why did the Toast get in trouble
I was her bread, she was my jam.
One day she left me saying you deserve butter.
Did you guys hear about the new Space Jam sequel where Marvin the Martian joins the Monstars, scores all of their points and they win it all?
You should check it out, it’s a really good Martian Scores’easy film
The best thing to do when encountering a door jam,
Open a nearby door so you can stick it in ajar.
Why did the jelly buy a guitar?
What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street?
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.
Dumb Dora got fired from her job delivering jelly.
She accidentally left the door ajar.
You know why they call it jelly instead of jam?
Because it's so hard to get it in the jar.
What did one strawberry say to the other?
If you'd listen to me , we wouldn't be in this jam.
A truck transporting sulphoric acid fell over on the highway
The resulting traffic jam is currently starting to dissolve.
what's a clams favorite band?
Pearl jam, close second being blue oyster cult.
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
Hate getting stuck in a traffic jam...
I asked my dad if he likes all kinds of spreads you put on toast.
He said "not really, but your marmite!"
I spent all day preserving the fruit of my garden. You could say it was a jam packed day.
Never make friends with fruit preserves....
They're always stuck in a jam
My son asked if he could use the garage so he could jam with his band.
I broke the bad news: we only have marmalade in this house.
What is a printers favorite game?
What's the difference between a mosquito and a fly?
A mosquito can fly but a fly can't mosquito.
My 11 year old daughter told me this one this evening lol.
I wondered why there was music coming from my printer...
Apparently the paper was jamming.
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