Wife walked into the kitchen and caught me jamming out to some music this morning.
Her: "Why are you playing Air Guitar?"
Me: "Because my air piano is broken!"
Nailed it!
I just read the absoute best book about Pearl Jam.
Seriously, I don't know they could have made it Eddie Vedder.
Did you guys hear about the new Space Jam sequel where Marvin the Martian joins the Monstars, scores all of their points and they win it all?
You should check it out, it’s a really good Martian Scores’easy film
I was her bread, she was my jam.
One day she left me saying you deserve butter.
You know why they call it jelly instead of jam?
Because it's so hard to get it in the jar.
What's the difference between jelly and jam?
Nobody would name their band Pearl Jelly.
A great sandwich isn't born
On Father's Day my family went strawberry picking. Later on, we decided to make a jam...
...from the fruits of our labor
Last Thursday my son was moping around and I told him, if you think Thursdays are sad, just wait two more days. He asked why?
Because it'll be sadder day.
My son asked if he could use the garage so he could jam with his band.
I broke the bad news: we only have marmalade in this house.
I spent all day preserving the fruit of my garden. You could say it was a jam packed day.
How do you make a traffic jam?
How does Bob Marley like his sandwiches?
I like to advertise my homemade fruit preserves at clubs.
Whenever a song comes on, I’ll hold up a jar and say, “This is my jam!”
What do cars put on their toast for breakfast?
I don’t understand why people like traffic jams so much.
They always line up for it.
I was wondering why Music was coming from my printer..
Apparently the paper was Jamming.
Hate getting stuck in a traffic jam...
Anyone know why music keeps coming from my printer?
O nevermind. The paper just keeps jamming
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
I really shouldn't be spreading it.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
What do you call a depressed traffic jam?
As best man at my brother's wedding, I gave the couple a bread basket with a champagne flavored jam...
They seemed to enjoy my wedding toast.
Bet that case is jam packed
My printer just told me it was joining a band
Makes sense since it lives to jam
Roses are red, I don't like jam
Why did the strawberry get a lawyer?
Thor Ragnarok?
Pff... more like Bore Ragnarok...
Penut butter and jam packed
What type of jam you cannot put on bread
I was driving with my wife and suddenly Pearl Jam started playing on the radio.
I told her, “It doesn’t get Eddie Vedder than this.”
From my daughter... What did the man say when he spilled jam on himself?
What do prison tennis matches and strawberry jam have in common?
What do you call a sandwich with a lot of strawberry jam in it?
What do you call it when you are stuck between two Fruit trucks?
Printer or Traffic. This ink cause a jam.
There's a jam in the sink
Why was the baby strawberry crying?
Because it's parents were in a jam
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its mom and dad are in a jam
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