He really raised the bar on that one
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
Because there’s always room for improvement.
...but I stand corrected
So this is just a “quality shit post”
I can't believe it's not better.
Son: "It's holding up."
He rattles these off as I read r/dadjokes to him
That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.
Anyone know if he meant human or animals ?
When tooth dirty.
Me: Iron Man dies at the end.
But booze will double your vision
But as anyone that has worked the night shift knows it can be a long and boring affair. No great threats to defend against. So this knight decided to improve himself, night after night he would bring books to read while he stood guard. Learning languages, math, philosophy. The smarter he gets the more he realizes that he will likely leave the world and be forgotten. In his depression he turns to music, learning instrument after instrument, style after style. Using his knowledge of math to create beautiful patterns and moving songs. He learns that it is they rhythm more than anything that draws people to a song and sets his nights to finding the rhythm that will be universally loved. Now, hundreds of years after his death, people the world over still remember Sir Cadian's Rhythm.
With better arrow dynamics.
It improves division.
....but it stops your biscuit from getting soft..
Such an improvement over the Gen1 models!
The older I get the more I like it.
Now it’s in-bee-leavable!!!
From now on no joke will be published without their scents of humour.
I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since
The noise was unbearable.
🍺 Beer is more nutritious than other alcoholic drinks.
🍺 Beer can help protect your heart.
🍺 Beer helps prevent kidney stones.
🍺 Beer lowers bad cholesterol.
🍺 Beer strengthens your bones.
🍺 Beer helps reduce stress.
🍺 Beer may help improve memory.
🍺 Beer helps cognitive function.
It was a soundboard
I'm a steak-holder.
Didn’t really improve my Chinese food
Me grammar sucks and i is imaginary.
Forgot where I left it.....
But then I turned around
But her aim is starting to improve.
It was Nguyen improved.
• you suddenly know all the words to every Eagles song.
• you get up early on a Saturday morning to make sure you’ll be tired enough for a couch nap that afternoon.
• you change your car’s oil exactly every 2,000 miles.
• mowing the lawn is no longer a chore, but a privilege.
• you can actually tell old John Wayne movies apart.
• your idea of fun is aimlessly wandering around the home improvement section of any store.