How do you ask the bridge that crosses New York's Hudson River between Tarrytown and Nyack if it speaks German?

Tappan Zee Deutsche?

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📅︎ Jul 14 2019
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A dad joke for Muse fans

I remember telling my dad when Matt Bellamy of the band Muse proposed to Kate Hudson, the ring he gave her was worth $500,000. My dad responded, "Well, I bet that put a supermassive black hole in his wallet!" and then proceeded to stare at me with the open-mouthed smile of a dad who's just made a dad joke and is awaiting a reaction. I groaned, hard.

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👤︎ u/flyrfradeg
📅︎ Sep 19 2014
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My 6th grade teacher was the king of dad jokes.

My 6th grade teacher had a reputation of being the meanest, strictest teacher on campus, but once I made it through his class, I realized he could be a jokester, too.

-In math class, he liked to tell a long, complicated story about a boy encountering a genie, eventually wishing for some odd things, just to end it with the punchline, "Gee, I'm a tree." (geometry)

-Another one of his long jokes consisted of a man being chased by a hearse. In a fit of desperation, he throws some Halls throat lozenges at it...."and the coffin went away."

-During study time, he would sometimes grab a balloon from his desk, blow it up, and proceed to slowly let air out of it, just to produce the squeaky noise.

-His favorite short joke: "Doctor, doctor, I broke my arm in three places!" "I advise you to stay out of those places."

-He was also probably the all-time leader of correcting, "Can I go to the bathroom?"

-He would also occasionally play opera music at the end of the day, not dismissing the class until we made it through an entire song without laughing.

-There were also a couple words that incited a specific reaction from him. Many of these words showed up often in history class, which is his favorite subject (probably because of all the jokes):

Anyway, it was a fun year with that teacher. I'll add more of his quirks if I think of any.

-Also,

... keep reading on reddit ➡

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📅︎ Oct 20 2013
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