People started looking at me weird, so I started jogging instead.
Reddit...reddit...reddit.
After five minutes, the driver told me to sit down.
"...a TOE TRUCK!!??"
Bubble rap
On the wiki-wiki-wiki.
But I realized that I might slip and hurt myself
A receding hare-line !
I tell them that I did it for the culture.
Alright so my boss is opening up a sort of delivery only Vietnamese vegan restaurant but we need a catchy name. The other brands we have are mostly sort of fun/hip vibe with puns galore.
We have a 90s hip-hop theme for the main brand with word play on Straight Outta Compton, Biggie Smalls, Tila Tequila and other sort of millennial references in the name of the restaurant and menu items. This one wouldn't need to fit this theme but just to give you an idea of what my bosses are into.
Give me your best 😋
Waka Flocka Seagulls.
I-HOP
Angsta Rap
A receding Hareline
A rapscallion.
It was a bum rap.
With friends like that, who needs anemones?
I’m just always down on one knee
A rapscallion
it was called Run DMZ.
Jazz.
I know you were thinking Hip Hop, but they actually like to scat.
They all attacked him, but he went straight for the Juggalo.
But I was too late, guess I snoos i lose.
I told him to hop in.
Deerly departed.
He was hopping mad
Bubble rap.
A doctor is driving home one night along a lonely road when a rabbit suddenly bolted in front of his car. The doctor swerved and tried his best to stop, but it wasn't possible and the car hit the bunny.
He immediately pulled the car to the side of the road and got out to see if he could help the poor bunny. It didn't look good. He raced back to the car to retrieve his bag, but realized almost instantly that he was driving his wife's car and so his bag wouldn't be there.
He frantically rooted through the glovebox, trying to find gauze or water - anything that could be useful. He found a bottle of what he expected was water and brought it back to where the bunny was laying. With great care, he poured a cap full and let the bunny drink.
To the doctor's amazement, the rabbit sprang back to life - jumping up on his hind legs and wiggling his tail. He smiled at the doctor and waved as he began to prance back toward the woods. He hopped a couple of feet, paused, turned and waved again. Hopped another few feet, turned and waved yet again. He reached the edge of the trees and again, he turned and waved at the doctor.
Stunned, the doctor brought the bottle up to the light to see what magic potion he had discovered. Squinting his eyes, he read the label aloud, "Hair restorer with permanent wave".
I hopped to it!
The frog pulls out a small weird shaped item, made of ceramic. Ms. Black isn’t sure what to make of it, so she asks her manager. He takes one look at the item, and says, “Why that’s a knick knack Patty Black, give that frog a loan!”
I told her they should get the Nobel Prize.
She just stared at me blankly for 8 seconds until she said.... “check out is at 10”
He says: " 'ello 'ello 'ello, you look 'armless, hop in!"
Wife: You've been drinking beer. I smell it on your breath.
Husband: No, I've been eating frog legs. You're smelling the hops.
It was a Fab Four-door
Velocirapper
It got toad
They had all sorts of bohemian Rap CDs.
She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.
After a couple of weeks the wife asked, “Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”
He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, “Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”
Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walked up the beach and met his wife at the road. “Well, is she selling drugs?” she asked excitedly.”
“No, she’s not.” he said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.
“Well, what is it, then?” his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said. “Her name is Sally and she’s selling batteries.”
“Batteries?” cried the wife.
“Yes,” he replied. “She sells C cells by the Seashore.”
I notice the woman is hysterical and the rabbit, well let's just say he's had better days.
I think to myself "Can I render first aid ? "
Then it hits me, I can fix this.
I go to the boot of my car and grab a can of spray. So I spray this onto the rabbit and sure as shit he jumps up and hops away.
As he is hopping away every ten steps he stops looks backs and waves at us !
He repeats this until he eventually was out of sight.
The women then asks me "what was that can of spray you used?"
I look and it is hair restorer with a permanent wave.
I wish to add no Rabbits were harmed in the telling of this story
It's a Bohemian Rap CD.
My reply without missing a beat — you’ll be able to buy it, you just won’t be able to buy it rare.
A guy is going to see his shrink. when he gets there, just outside the door he strips down, gets butt naked & raps himself in suran wrap, then walks in/hops in, & goes & flops on the couch & says alright doc im ready! doc turns around, thinks for a minute, & says alright i can clearly see--- your nuts!
Me: I wonder why it never played basketball....
...but it's just not twerking. I hope everyone will just let this slide.
The grasshopper responds, “Norman?”
A Raptile
We’re called the rap scallions.
I said, if you drive you are a driver, if you hop then you are a hopper, so if you cook you are a cooker.
my son to his mother: Dad and I are hookers!!
Ok, but I'd rather you hop real slow. Bathroom falls account for the majority of home injuries.
Broken hip hop?
It's all in the hops!
Because he wanted a bigger celery. And maybe even a stock option
She was in charge of the hops.
I asked her if she needed any help?
She said she was looking for her right prosthetic leg.
I said I’ve only got the wrong one here sorry.
sadly this is the 3rd case this week of a pop pop crop-top crop top pop hop
Bears must really like Hip-Hop.
So you can make sure to do all the wrapping for the holidays.
They both have rap sheets.
Except maybe once in a Blue Moon
I think it's about time for me to hop on one myself.
A friend of mine broke her foot. She is wearing a boot now. Any jokes you have about broken feet or boots would be great.
Here are the ones I've been using:
-See you next fall
-I need to step up my jokes
-I heard you joined a gang...the Crip ples...
Finally got to use this classic!
Kid: "Dad, I'm gonna hop in the shower."
Me: "You should probably just stand still, it's safer."
It's going to be called "Run-DMT"
It’s his worst fear - hare loss.
which was my 40th birthday. The BIG Four Oh! As in "Oh, you're 40 and not married? What's wrong with you?"
And my friends, as awesome as they are, kept setting me up on blind dates, but I never seemed to click with any of the women. Pretty women, short women, tall women, rough women, successful women, lazy women - I dated them all and more often than not, they just weren't interested in me.
I think I probably went on twenty or so dates that never resulted in a a single follow up date.
But two months before my birthday, I started dating two women and both fledgling relationships seemed like they were going somewhere as they were getting really, really serious. I couldn't choose one, but I didn't care. I just couldn't believe they were into me. Okay, maybe they weren't the best looking, but I was so desperate for a wife, and I'm definitely no prize myself.
With a few weeks to go before my birthday, I knew I had to act if I had any hope of being married. I bought two rings and proposed to them both (on separate nights, of course) and they both said no. In fact, though they never knew of each other, I went from two good things to both of them not returning my calls. I guess proposing in a mall food court (for Jenny) or down on my knees in front of the bathroom at a minor league baseball game (Susan) were not my best laid plans, doomed to fail. Or maybe I just reeked of desperation.
So the morning of my birthday, I was practically in tears, deep in depression as I knew I missed my deadline. But my friends came though, kind of. They took me out bar hopping and then we all went back to my place where they had a stripper waiting in my favorite chair. She got up, sat me down, and gave me a grinding lap dance. She said nothing, but after a minute, stopped, turned around, looked me in the eye and said "one." Then she started up again, stopped after a minute, turned around and said "two..."
This went on all night until she got to "forty."
It's been a few months now, and I'm not too sad. My friends really tried to get me married, and after two near mrs, I guess it was the thot that counts.
A receding hareline.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.
A receding hairline
A receding hare-line!
A receding hare line.
a receding hare line.
A receding hareline
... He got toad
She was in charge of the hops.
