A list of puns related to "Hardware Store"
Every Saturday, I see him hitting new Lowe’s.
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
True story.
I hate long good buys.
..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"
I told him I was planning on keeping it
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
I'm feeling a little board.
I thought to myself “these should be free of charge”.
"No, it kills them."
"Go in there and get me 2 sorb awls"
A Hacksaw.
That was out of the blue.
He asked if I wanted decking... Lucky I got the first punch in
My doctor has prescribed me an ace inhibitor for my blood pressure
This was from a conversation my wife and I had yesterday. She asked me why I always go to Lowe’s instead of the local hardware store seeing as I’m all about supporting local businesses. I told her it’s because I take lisinopril and it’s an ace inhibitor.
It’s one of those you push in the ground on your lawn. When I put it in (that’s what she said), I remembered that flags are being flown at half mast.
So I pushed it in a little farther.
No one laughed harder about that than I did at the time and I just wanted to share with you all.
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
“Got any two watt bulbs?”
“For what?”
“That’ll do I’ll take two.”
“Two what?”
“I thought you didn’t have any.”
“Any what?”
“Ok then!”
Me: "No, son. But, don't be mad that we don't. There's no need to take a fence."
Last week I caught someone trying to steal a light bulb! When I asked them if they needed help the person quickly shoved the bulb into their mouth and muttered. "Nah mate just looking for a light snack!" and walked off.
Queue me enthusiastically from my desk, “so what you’re saying is, you saw’ved all their problems?!”
They hate my humor.
> -- Which one, Sir?
> -- The kind of brownish reddish one?
> -- Uh, we've never had any reddish browns on sale.
> -- Oh. Then I guess it must have been a... pigment of my imagination.
Personally, I don’t think his argument holds water.
The husband suggested composite materials. Meanwhile the wife took him for granite
Talk about boring!
It didn't take much time to make my mother bored.
A Ware-house
Police say they have nothing to go on.
All the files were deleted.
I told her to level with me about what she did.
It was a steel
They ask: are you guys going to get any more evaporative coolers? The employee answers: I’m not sure, we’ve been pretty SWAMPED recently so for now we’re all out.
***Was I the employee in this story? ...yes
The cashier asks "are you putting it up yourself?"
The angel replies "yes."
because they are flush with spades
Dad and I went to the hardware store to buy fencing wire on the weekend. As we're walking in the door, dad turns to me all serious and says "Remind me again: wire we here?"
Wife: I got the hello kitty design on the key because they only had sports teams or plain ones
Me: you don't like aviation?
Wife: (5 second pause then groan and eyeroll)
I hate long good buys.
He said, “No, it kills them.”
"No, it kills them."
I hate long good buys.
“Got any two watt bulbs?”
“For what?”
“That’ll do I’ll take two.”
“Two what?”
“I thought you didn’t have any.”
“Any what?”
“Ok then!”
I hate long good buys.
The cashier asks "are you putting it up yourself?"
The man replies "no, I'm putting it in the living room."
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