A list of puns related to "Hardware store"
My friend looked at me and said, "I guess there's only so much shit you can take."
True story.
I hate long good buys.
..."ugh! People are so quick to take a fence these days"
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
I told him I was planning on keeping it
I'm feeling a little board.
I thought to myself “these should be free of charge”.
"Go in there and get me 2 sorb awls"
A Hacksaw.
"No, it kills them."
That was out of the blue.
He asked if I wanted decking... Lucky I got the first punch in
My doctor has prescribed me an ace inhibitor for my blood pressure
This was from a conversation my wife and I had yesterday. She asked me why I always go to Lowe’s instead of the local hardware store seeing as I’m all about supporting local businesses. I told her it’s because I take lisinopril and it’s an ace inhibitor.
It’s one of those you push in the ground on your lawn. When I put it in (that’s what she said), I remembered that flags are being flown at half mast.
So I pushed it in a little farther.
No one laughed harder about that than I did at the time and I just wanted to share with you all.
I replied, "The round tubes that liquid flows through."
“Got any two watt bulbs?”
“For what?”
“That’ll do I’ll take two.”
“Two what?”
“I thought you didn’t have any.”
“Any what?”
“Ok then!”
Me: "No, son. But, don't be mad that we don't. There's no need to take a fence."
Last week I caught someone trying to steal a light bulb! When I asked them if they needed help the person quickly shoved the bulb into their mouth and muttered. "Nah mate just looking for a light snack!" and walked off.
> -- Which one, Sir?
> -- The kind of brownish reddish one?
> -- Uh, we've never had any reddish browns on sale.
> -- Oh. Then I guess it must have been a... pigment of my imagination.
Personally, I don’t think his argument holds water.
The husband suggested composite materials. Meanwhile the wife took him for granite
Queue me enthusiastically from my desk, “so what you’re saying is, you saw’ved all their problems?!”
They hate my humor.
Talk about boring!
It didn't take much time to make my mother bored.
A Ware-house
Police say they have nothing to go on.
I told her to level with me about what she did.
All the files were deleted.
It was a steel
The cashier asks "are you putting it up yourself?"
The man replies "no, I'm putting it in the living room."
They ask: are you guys going to get any more evaporative coolers? The employee answers: I’m not sure, we’ve been pretty SWAMPED recently so for now we’re all out.
***Was I the employee in this story? ...yes
because they are flush with spades
Wife: I got the hello kitty design on the key because they only had sports teams or plain ones
Me: you don't like aviation?
Wife: (5 second pause then groan and eyeroll)
Dad and I went to the hardware store to buy fencing wire on the weekend. As we're walking in the door, dad turns to me all serious and says "Remind me again: wire we here?"
Cashier "How long do you need these 2x4s?"
Dad "Oh a long time we're building a shed"
Gr8 Dad
... with my partner yesterday. We were just browsing through the doors aisle, got a little separated. He called me over, said I should see the next aisle. I asked why and he said, "It's more doors." I replied, "One does not simply walk into more doors!"
I hate long good buys.
He said, “No, it kills them.”
"No, it kills them."
I hate long good buys.
“Got any two watt bulbs?”
“For what?”
“That’ll do I’ll take two.”
“Two what?”
“I thought you didn’t have any.”
“Any what?”
“Ok then!”
I hate long good buys.
The cashier asks "are you putting it up yourself?"
The angel replies "yes."
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