Punstoppable

Hams Puns

A list of puns related to "Hams"

A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says we don't serve food here

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👤︎ u/VVIIVVI
📅︎ Oct 08 2020
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What should we be eating on Easter instead of Ham?

iHop

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👤︎ u/b3tt3rcallsaul
📅︎ Apr 05 2021
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If you see an email with ground pork and processed ham in the subject line, don’t open it...

It’s spam.

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👤︎ u/SoccerRN
📅︎ Mar 28 2021
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I just opened a package from my dad which contained canned ham.

He told me it was his first attempt at spam mail.

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👤︎ u/TheFutonEng
📅︎ Mar 16 2021
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Ham solo
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👤︎ u/Fluffy_waffles2
📅︎ Jan 01 2021
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I studied Morse code so I could tap out dad jokes with my ham radio, but I only learned half of the code.

So I'm no expert at it, just a pundit.

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👤︎ u/Shu-di
📅︎ Feb 15 2021
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You know what's best with ham?

JAM

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👤︎ u/WAITINGFORMYCOOKIE
📅︎ Jan 20 2021
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more like ham boys
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👤︎ u/LazyYoda
📅︎ Sep 22 2020
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That’s a nice ham you got there.

It’d be a shame if someone put an S in front of it and an E behind it.

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👤︎ u/Canooter
📅︎ Oct 03 2020
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Where is the cheapest place to buy ham?

Hamazon

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👤︎ u/uneeq33
📅︎ Nov 03 2020
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How do you make a cured ham?

Well first you find a pig with the sniffles...

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👤︎ u/vrek86
📅︎ Oct 04 2020
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ham
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👤︎ u/Less-Panda
📅︎ Jun 01 2020
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Made my friend draw me a ham sand witch!

https://preview.redd.it/spig22o65o651.png?width=830&format=png&auto=webp&s=58d660e5243952036705bbb43d4c37ceec0bb61f

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👤︎ u/theneatdude2004
📅︎ Jun 23 2020
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Have you heard about all the sick hams?

Don’t worry, they are cured now.

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👤︎ u/Rahastes
📅︎ Aug 13 2020
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Jon Hamm's Ham
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👤︎ u/Hugfry
📅︎ May 18 2020
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I walked into the kitchen to help my wife prepare dinner and exclaimed, "That’s a nice ham you’ve got there honey! It’d really be a shame if someone..."

"...put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end!"

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Jul 07 2020
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What do you call ham that feels better?

Cured ham.

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👤︎ u/kickypie
📅︎ Apr 30 2020
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For Easter I plan on smoking a ham.

Anyone know where I can find rolling papers big enough to fit one?

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👤︎ u/JoeFas
📅︎ Apr 10 2020
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2 bananas shopping in Walmart; first banana says ‘I dare you to shoplift that ham’

Second banana says ‘no way, I’m not doing that!’ First banana says ‘why? You yellow?’

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👤︎ u/bigpapastu
📅︎ Jun 28 2020
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If you get an email about canned ham contaminated with COVID-19...

It's spam.

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👤︎ u/hicycles
📅︎ Mar 29 2020
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Ham sandwhich
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👤︎ u/ryannbajaj
📅︎ May 13 2019
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What a S(HAM)E
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👤︎ u/wack_broski
📅︎ Jul 26 2019
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I stopped by the deli to have my typical ham on white or wheat but they were out of both!

My plan for lunch went a-rye.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Apr 16 2020
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All my friends think I’m weird for constantly eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.

But hey, that’s Hawaii roll.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Feb 02 2020
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I ordered a meatball and got a hot ham and swiss instead.

Darn. Wrong sub

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👤︎ u/boogerknows
📅︎ Dec 27 2019
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Ham of shame
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👤︎ u/leo_sometimes
📅︎ Sep 10 2019
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All you need to take down the ham-burglar
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👤︎ u/Kremit321
📅︎ May 31 2019
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Ham
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👤︎ u/theemptyqueue
📅︎ Oct 20 2018
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Dad: *looks at ham*

Also dad: That's a nice ham you got there. Would be a shame if someone put an "e" behind it, and put an "s" infront of it.

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👤︎ u/SonyCzech
📅︎ Jul 26 2019
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Why'd they get John Mulaney to play Spider Ham? Because He's a comic!
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👤︎ u/Monsicorn
📅︎ Jul 24 2019
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Where can you buy cheese and ham in India?

At the Delhi counter.

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👤︎ u/KCL80
📅︎ Jan 24 2020
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My friend was very excited that he passed his ham radio exam first try...

He had no reMorse.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Dec 15 2019
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A shame of that ham
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👤︎ u/mrbaseball54
📅︎ Apr 12 2019
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A Ham Sandwich Walks into a Bar..

Strolls up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'

Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'

Edit; Sorry that this is causing so much controversy in Dad joke world. My Dad literally told me this joke and it totally is a 'Dad joke' in my eyes!

Edit 2 Just want to say some of these comments have had me in bits! Keep them coming Dads! #DadPower

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👤︎ u/LookAtMyPartyDisco
📅︎ Jul 30 2015
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What is a type of Italian ham that helps you fall slowly?

Parachuttio

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👤︎ u/alecraffi
📅︎ Jun 08 2019
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A Ham Sandwich Walks Into A Bar

The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."

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👤︎ u/LavaWolf800
📅︎ Oct 02 2020
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That’s a nice ham you have there

It would be a shame if someone put an “S” in front of it and an “E” at the end of it.

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👤︎ u/JoeStearn11
📅︎ Sep 11 2020
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer.

The bartender says " sorry, we don't serve food here!"

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👤︎ u/LordAlgor7
📅︎ Sep 14 2020
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A Ham Sandwich walks into a bar.

It walks up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'

Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'

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👤︎ u/OptimalMongoose2
📅︎ Jan 19 2020
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer

The bartender says sorry, we don't serve food here

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👤︎ u/dragoon2745
📅︎ Jun 08 2019
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As my wife was preparing dinner, I said to her, "That’s a nice ham you’ve got there."

"It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ at the front and an ‘e’ at the end."

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Mar 07 2019
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here.
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👤︎ u/TurdNugget6952
📅︎ Oct 19 2019
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry we don’t serve food here."
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👤︎ u/ruchi565
📅︎ Nov 11 2019
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Everyone thinks I’m weird because I’m addicted to ham and pineapple sandwiches.

But that’s just Hawaii roll.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Dec 25 2018
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Ham Sandwich walks into a bar..

Strolls up to the bartender and says 'Pint of lager please mate'

Bartender looks the Ham Sandwich up and down and says 'Sorry mate, we don't serve food here'

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👤︎ u/LookAtMyPartyDisco
📅︎ Apr 14 2016
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A ham sandwich walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says,”Sorry we don’t serve food here.”
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👤︎ u/JonathanW319
📅︎ May 17 2019
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A ham and cheese sandwich walks into a bar

The bar tender says “sorry sir, we don’t serve food here”

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👤︎ u/soul_stealer5
📅︎ Dec 30 2018
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