He threw his life down the gutter

It was a sewer-slide

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👤︎ u/asyandu
📅︎ Aug 03 2019
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Paddy and Murphy playing football in the gutter.

Paddy fell off the roof.

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📅︎ May 20 2019
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Get your mind out of the gutter, Dad!

Today I held the ladder for my dad while he was cleaning the gutters out, in the rain no less.

An acorn rolls down the newly cleaned out gutter, making quite a racket and falling down the drain spout.

Dad: "Looks like I got a strike! Well, actually, more like a gutter ball!"

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👤︎ u/Dotnikus
📅︎ Dec 06 2013
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Was helping my dad clean the gutters and got dadjoked.

I was attempting to climb onto the roof to clean the pine needles off but was having trouble because the roof itself was really hot. I turned to my dad and asked him for some gloves to help with the heat. His response was, "what did you expect, it's been sitting out in the sun all day?"

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👤︎ u/DawnSoap
📅︎ Oct 21 2014
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Grandpa's mind stays in the gutter

Grandpa: What's testosterone?

Me: It's a hormone.

Grandpa: Have you ever heard a whore moan?

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📅︎ Mar 12 2014
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A roofer was decapitated today while telling a dirty joke to his co-worker

I'm not sure what the joke was, but somebody should get his head out of the gutter.

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👤︎ u/kcsmurf112
📅︎ Oct 10 2020
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Trying to write some clean jokes about bowling balls

but they keep ending up in the gutter.

👍︎ 5k
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📅︎ Dec 07 2019
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My friend is an unemployed circus clown. I nicknamed him Pennywise . . .

His career is in the gutter.

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📅︎ Nov 03 2019
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Happy Sunday!
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📅︎ Feb 26 2017
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I lost my last 3 jobs because of clumsiness...

With the optician because I'm an eyedropper...

With the sign company because I'm a name-dropper...

And with the gutter company because I'm an eavesdropper...

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📅︎ Feb 08 2019
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Why do Roofers always work for free?

Becauae their job is on the house.

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📅︎ May 11 2016
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This one is too long for just a title. But, I promise that this really just happened.

I live in South Carolina, sort of near the coast, and Hurricane Florence is headed this way. My two youngest children--total cowards--were helping me clear out all of the storm drains and curb gutters on our street to help the expected 10-20 inches of rain drain as best they can. Any time any insect flies past them, they scream bee and run away screaming. I'm talking like they're afraid of butterflies. My youngest says that Winter is her favorite season because all the bees are dead.

So, we finish up, and I go inside ahead of them, making them put the shovels away, and I hear, from inside, them running and crying/shrieking across the front porch and inside the house.

My youngest, amidst her sobs, says, "It was as big as a baseball" and holds the one I keep on my desk up for comparison.

I think make the B sign in ASL with both of my hands, stand up and say "BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ" at them while they run away in fear, and when the middle child says, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY" I keep moving towards them with my B hands while saying, "DO YOU WANT ME TO JUST LET YOU BEE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

I'm a great dad.

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👤︎ u/wuapinmon
📅︎ Sep 11 2018
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I tried dating a worker from a bowling alley.

But he couldn't keep his mind out of the gutter.

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👤︎ u/Tanglimara
📅︎ Aug 08 2018
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So a man sees his pastor at a liquor store on Sunday...

A man sees a priest buying hard liquor on a Sunday at a shop down the street from the church the priest is the pastor of. Surprised, the man, who went to that church, asked why he was buying a 5th of Jagermeister.

The priest said, "it's an old catholic secret that Jagermeister helps ease constipation, which one of the nuns has.

So the guy shrugs and leaves, only to see the priest later that day, not halfway back to the church, drunk as a skunk in the gutter, tipping the brown paper bag with Jagermeister in it all the way back as he drinks it.

He pulls up in his car and asks, "I thought you said it was for a nun's constipation!?"

The priest grunted, "It is! She's going to shit herself when she sees me like this!"

I'm posting this, my grandfather's joke, in honor of him passing a few months ago.

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📅︎ May 29 2015
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It's kind of a no-brainer

I was talking to 2 friends when 1 of them said she had an itch on the bottom of her leg. The other friend, who had his mind in the gutter, said his brain started running wild after hearing bottom and started thinking of all different kinds of bottoms.

To which I replied he might be in need of a Lo-bottom-y.

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👤︎ u/Deomew
📅︎ Sep 13 2016
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First year law student

"I'm gonna go learn how to sue people"

"Sue her, sue her, sue her, get your mind outta the gutter."

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👤︎ u/pike1944
📅︎ Sep 20 2013
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