I always keep an extra pair of gloves with me in the winter

They’re just a good thing to have on-hand

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ham-cum-rewritten
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.

I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".

πŸ‘︎ 108
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jhnrmn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the cat that married the glove?

They had mittens.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kgangadhar
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the tennis player say when given the wrong glove?

That's a bad mitten.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/waldo06
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
I suspect my friend stole one of my gloves.

He definitely had a hand in it.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought a new pair of gloves today...

...but they're both "lefts". Which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it's just not right.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_oddballwoofwoof_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I am convinced that my friend helped someone steal one of my gloves.

He definitely had a hand in it.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Well. After many years I have decided to change my gamer tag to glove.

I just think it’s catchy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolboonesfarm
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket..

They lied, everyone else had their clothes on

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Reg182
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Like a glove
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/omidhashtad
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I have way too many gloves

If anyone wants them, you're welcome to take them off my hands

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emu404
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I prefer to use the vacuum cleaner with boxing gloves on

They call me Dyson Fury

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Barderz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I invented gloves.

Okay, I'm lying, but at least I had a hand in it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the witch wear latex gloves when she cast a spell?

She wanted to practice safe hex.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into the doctor's office

"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.

"It's.. erm .. well ... I have five penises." replies the man.

"Ah ok. How do your trousers fit?" asks the doc.

"Like a glove."

πŸ‘︎ 156
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I wasn't feeling well this morning....

So, I took my gloves off.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
My boss told me to wear rubber gloves while dealing with customers this week. I told him β€œFuck that.”

I’m doing these prostate exams my way.

πŸ‘︎ 323
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WitnessChemical
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to play tennis, but my tennis glove is torn.

I guess I’ll have to settle for bad mitten.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bci1516
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Went to the grocery store today. They told me gloves and a mask would be enough...

They LIED. Everybody else had clothes on!

πŸ‘︎ 323
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kratomom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Found this glove zip tied to the stop sign across from my house.
πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KeeperOfCarl
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought these textured gloves earlier but got a tiny bit of blue paint on them

Guess you could say I’m feeling a little blue

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gavanthino
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I was going grocery shopping this morning. They told me latex gloves and a face mask was enough. So i go in the store and what do i see?

The others are still wearing a t-shirt and pants!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/getonmylevel205
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What I like about glove jokes

Is that they always come in handy

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eorst
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Just got back from the grocery store they said all you need is gloves and a mask- they lied

everyone else was wearing clothes

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Deepspacesquid
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Have exposure to COVID19 caused you to wear masks and gloves?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation

-Not OC-

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the thumb say to the finger?

I'm in glove with you!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neutraliscool
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Glove is all you need
πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/assemtotes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Upon delevery

So I'm proud to say I made my first dad joke not even 5 min after my son way born.

After he came out, the doctor weighed my son. Doctor said "wow look at the size of those hands!".

Which I had to reply instantly " you know what they say about babys with big hands eh?!?" .... "big gloves" !!

To whole room cracked up and my women just sighed and said. "Really.."

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OlderNo7
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Sock puppets caring for each other.
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ajfoucault
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I read that a mask and gloves were appropriate ppe for going out to the grocery store.

Well that is total bs, everyone else had clothes on too.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/savantard
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Glove at first sight.
πŸ‘︎ 381
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife and I started fighting each other whilst wearing boxing gloves and 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background...

We are going through a Rocky patch!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
🚨︎ report
If I get a message on my phone after midnight I always assume it's about disposable gloves

because it's a late-text (latex)

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
There were a lot of complaints about gloves not fitting.

It was really getting out of hand.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/itsyaboilmaoooo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves...

...but I don't like to point fingers...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2019
🚨︎ report
If you're meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time, always wear a bright long-sleeved shirt, gloves and shorts.

You want them to think you're a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OK_Compooper
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I was out at Harbor Freight today with my dad getting gloves for welding, he said they fit perfect.

I said, "Like a glove."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatKidFromTarget
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What glove size does a psychic wear?

Medium gloves

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mandrake53
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
My daughter brought her boyfriend over the over day when all of a sudden, a pair of goalie gloves fell out of his bag. It was this moment that I knew.

He's a keeper.

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grimApocalypse
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
🚨︎ report
Glove and Boots | What is Pun? - 5:12 youtube.com/watch?v=RNta_…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagnusRune
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket

They lied, everyone else has clothes on

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a doctors office. β€œWhat seems to be the problem?” Asks the doc. β€œIt’s... um... well... i have five penises.” Replies the man. β€œBlimey!” Says the doctor, β€œhow do your trousers fit?” β€œLike a glove.”
πŸ‘︎ 274
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SvenTranslator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I bought two left hand gloves

On one hand it feels great, on the other hand, not so much

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PianoPlayer1323
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife and I started fighting each other whilst wearing boxing gloves and 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background...

We are going through a Rocky patch!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I lost one of my gloves so now I only have a left...

Which is good on one hand.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chuckyocouch_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report

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