I always keep an extra pair of gloves with me in the winter
They’re just a good thing to have on-hand
I'm planning to implement a new weight-loss method that will require people to wear winter gloves making it harder for them to eat.
I will call it "Inter-mitten fasting".
Did you hear about the cat that married the glove?
What did the tennis player say when given the wrong glove?
I suspect my friend stole one of my gloves.
He definitely had a hand in it.
I bought a new pair of gloves today...
...but they're both "lefts". Which on the one hand is great, but on the other, it's just not right.
I am convinced that my friend helped someone steal one of my gloves.
He definitely had a hand in it.
Well. After many years I have decided to change my gamer tag to glove.
I just think it’s catchy.
They said gloves and a mask would be enough to go to the supermarket..
They lied, everyone else had their clothes on
I have way too many gloves
If anyone wants them, you're welcome to take them off my hands
I prefer to use the vacuum cleaner with boxing gloves on
I invented gloves.
Okay, I'm lying, but at least I had a hand in it.
Why did the witch wear latex gloves when she cast a spell?
She wanted to practice safe hex.
A man walks into the doctor's office
"What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc.
"It's.. erm .. well ... I have five penises." replies the man.
"Ah ok. How do your trousers fit?" asks the doc.
"Like a glove."
I wasn't feeling well this morning....
So, I took my gloves off.
My boss told me to wear rubber gloves while dealing with customers this week. I told him “Fuck that.”
I’m doing these prostate exams my way.
I want to play tennis, but my tennis glove is torn.
I guess I’ll have to settle for bad mitten.
Went to the grocery store today. They told me gloves and a mask would be enough...
They LIED. Everybody else had clothes on!
Found this glove zip tied to the stop sign across from my house.
I bought these textured gloves earlier but got a tiny bit of blue paint on them
Guess you could say I’m feeling a little blue
I was going grocery shopping this morning. They told me latex gloves and a face mask was enough. So i go in the store and what do i see?
The others are still wearing a t-shirt and pants!
What I like about glove jokes
Is that they always come in handy
Just got back from the grocery store they said all you need is gloves and a mask- they lied
everyone else was wearing clothes
Have exposure to COVID19 caused you to wear masks and gloves?
If so, you may be entitled to condensation
-Not OC-
What did the thumb say to the finger?
Upon delevery
So I'm proud to say I made my first dad joke not even 5 min after my son way born.
After he came out, the doctor weighed my son. Doctor said "wow look at the size of those hands!".
Which I had to reply instantly " you know what they say about babys with big hands eh?!?" .... "big gloves" !!
To whole room cracked up and my women just sighed and said. "Really.."
Sock puppets caring for each other.
I read that a mask and gloves were appropriate ppe for going out to the grocery store.
Well that is total bs, everyone else had clothes on too.
My wife and I started fighting each other whilst wearing boxing gloves and 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background...
We are going through a Rocky patch!
If I get a message on my phone after midnight I always assume it's about disposable gloves
because it's a late-text (latex)
There were a lot of complaints about gloves not fitting.
It was really getting out of hand.
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves...
...but I don't like to point fingers...
If you're meeting your girlfriend's parents for the first time, always wear a bright long-sleeved shirt, gloves and shorts.
You want them to think you're a keeper.
I was out at Harbor Freight today with my dad getting gloves for welding, he said they fit perfect.
What glove size does a psychic wear?
My daughter brought her boyfriend over the over day when all of a sudden, a pair of goalie gloves fell out of his bag. It was this moment that I knew.
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the supermarket
They lied, everyone else has clothes on
A man walks into a doctors office. “What seems to be the problem?” Asks the doc. “It’s... um... well... i have five penises.” Replies the man. “Blimey!” Says the doctor, “how do your trousers fit?” “Like a glove.”
I bought two left hand gloves
On one hand it feels great, on the other hand, not so much
My wife and I started fighting each other whilst wearing boxing gloves and 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background...
We are going through a Rocky patch!
I lost one of my gloves so now I only have a left...
Which is good on one hand.
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