A man with muscular furred limbs and claws walks into a bar

The bartender gives the man a funny look then the man says: "What? I have the right to bear arms".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CuttingEdge132
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side of a dog has the most hair/fur?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpecOpsAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
The wife has a new Ewok fur coat.

She looks totally wicket in it.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I just saw a stray dog with the Eiffel Tower stuck in his fur, along with Arc de Triumph and the Louvre...

...poor little guy, covered in Paris Sites.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Do bears have any fur on their butts?

No, they’re straight up beare-assed.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
From my 8 year old: Dad, how do camels hide from predators?

Me: Their fur is the same color as the desert so they blend in.

Her: Exactly! They camel-flage!

I walked right into that one lol

πŸ‘︎ 302
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joshuaquiz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of fur do you get from a werewolf?

As fur away as you can get.

πŸ‘︎ 83
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2020
🚨︎ report
When my Himalayan friend told his son to go sheer a yak's fur, the son replied...

"Sherpa"

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-taco-rice-
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Whenever I go fur trapping...

I bring my beaver cleaver.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/envengpe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
*reference to Spongebob and Patrick stealing Sandy's fur*
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/levilheaded
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Don't you hate when your catpet starts shedding fur? v.redd.it/0su91v3qc5131
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hpar1
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bear with no fur?

Bear-naked

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dpearson008
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I let my cat outside today but when I started listening to Daft Punk she rushed back inside

I guess she is more of a house cat

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Limehulio
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the lady who bought a fur coat?

She wanted to be the miss in lynx

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarkJizo-_-
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do dogs lose the most fur?

The shed.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyphr0st
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend's cat always steals my spot on the bed, it makes me FUR-ious
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JasmineFoxie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do brown bears have fur coats? ...

β€˜Cos they’d look silly in anoraks.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I bearly finished my fur-st meme
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mackmickpalmer1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Only a lunatic would wear a wolf fur jacket

Seriously, who else would werewolf?

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MightyOtaku
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2018
🚨︎ report
I was going to buy my kid this winter coat we saw at the mall, but I couldn't afford it.

So I had to jacket.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iLL_Motives
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rabbit that’s losing its fur?

A receding hareline

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samrf1202
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Neutering an animal makes it infertile. Making its hide into carpet squares makes it fur tile.
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moothane
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Fur those who teach
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2018
🚨︎ report
i asked a girl wearing fur boots and Apple Bottom jeans for water

needless to say, shawty got l'eau

πŸ‘︎ 102
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gowthamcity
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2016
🚨︎ report
Which mystical creature has the softest fur?

The were-wool-f.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Friend: "Ugh, this stupid christian fur is blocking my video game!"

Me: "You mean the Cross-hair?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x3astu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2018
🚨︎ report
The next generation will be Cup, Plate, and Bowl
πŸ‘︎ 524
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Geng_r
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I chased this guy wearing a sexy tuxedo made of cat fur

It was a hot purr suit.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
🚨︎ report
A Panda Walks into a Bar

A panda walks into a bar one day. He casually walks to the bar and sits on a bar stool.

The bartender thinks this is a bit odd, a panda walking into a bar isn’t something that normally happens to him.

He approaches the panda regardless and asks, β€œWhat can I get you?”

The panda grabs a menu off the bar, opens it and points to a cheeseburger.

The bartender is very impressed by this and so he decides to go ahead and make the cheeseburger for the panda.

The panda gets his cheeseburger, devours it, savoring every last bit. He then wipes its mouth with a napkin, impressing the bartender even more.

But then suddenly the panda pulls out a gun and shoots everyone in the bar, except for the bartender.

The bartender stands there in total shock, soaked in blood, and can only ask the panda, β€œWhy?”

The panda pulls a dictionary from his fur coat and turns to the bartender. He flips the book to the P section, places it on the bar, and points to his picture. Then he turns and walks out the door without looking back.

The bartender leans down and reads the entry next to Panda. It says…

β€œPanda: A wild animal that eats, shoots and leaves.”

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Donorob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
If a fox wore gloves lined with rabbit fur

Would that be faux paus?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kappattacka
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2018
🚨︎ report
If I were to make a MΓΆbius strip out of black and white dog fur,

would it result in eternal Dalmation?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandysingssongs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2018
🚨︎ report
What do rabbits use to keep their fur in place?

Hare bands

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HumboltQuadrant
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
100 Paw-sitively Meow-nificent Cat Purr-ns Fur Mew to Use Whenev-fur Mew Need
  • Allow => A-meow
  • Apology => A-paw-logy
  • Appalling => A-paw-ling
  • Attitude => Cat-titude
  • Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
  • Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
  • Because => Be-claws
  • Before => Be-fur
  • Bother => Bo-fur
  • Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
  • Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
  • Catch => Cat-ch
  • Clever => Claw-ver
  • Confusing => Con-fur-sing
  • Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
  • Different => Dif-fur-rent
  • Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
  • Familiar => Fur-miliar
  • Feeling => Feline
  • For => Fur
  • For real => Fur real
  • Forever => Fur-ever
  • Forget => Fur-get
  • Fortunate => Fur-tunate
  • Forward => Fur-ward
  • Friend => Fur-end
  • Furious => Fur-ious
  • Further => Fur-ther
  • Get or Got => Cat
  • Help me out => Help meow-t
  • History => Hiss-tory
  • Hysterical => Hiss-terical
  • Inferior => In-fur-ior
  • Kidding me => Kitten me
  • Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
  • Literally => Litter-ally
  • Literature => Litter-a-ture
  • Lost => Claw-st
  • Lying => Lion
  • Magnificent => Meow-nificent
  • Marvellous => Meow-velous
  • Minimum => Mew-nimum
  • Misery => Mew-sery
  • Moment => Mew-ment
  • Mountain => Meow-ntain
  • Move => Mew-v
  • Music => Mew-sic
  • Musician => Meow-sician
  • Never => Nev-fur
  • New => Mew
  • Now => Meow
  • Over => Ov-fur
  • Paper => Pay-purr
  • Pardon me => Paw-don me
  • Pause => Paws
  • Perfect => Purr-fect
  • Perhaps => Purr-haps
  • Permission => Purr-mission
  • Person => Purr-son
  • Personal => Purr-sonal
  • Persuasion => Purr-suasion
  • Places => Purr-laces
  • Please => Paw-lease
  • Portable => Paw-table
  • Positive => Paw-sitive
  • Possibility => Paw-sibility
  • Possibly => Paw-sibly
  • Precious => Purr-ecious
  • Prefer => Paw-fer
  • Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
  • Pretty => Purr-ty
  • Priceless => Purr-iceless
  • Prince => Purr-ince
  • Princess => Purr-incess
  • Puns => Purr-ns
  • Purpose => Purr-pose
  • Referring => Re-fur-ing
  • Respond => Res-paw-nd
  • Simple => Sim-paw-le
  • Suffer => Suf-fur
  • Superior => Su-purr-ior
  • Tale => Tail
  • Talent => Tail-ent
  • Tell => Tail
  • That’s all => Cat’s all
  • Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
  • Very => Furry
  • Whenever => Whene-fur
  • Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
  • You => Mew
  • Apologize => A-paw-logize
  • First => Furr-st
  • How are you? => Meow are mew?
  • Morning => Meowrning
  • Phon
... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eyl327
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
🚨︎ report
What do you call a South African coat that is half leather half fur.

Apartheid

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/3Dbabble
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
🚨︎ report
What would satin's name be if he was a furry?

lucifur

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hydramanium
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Cat showers
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dude309
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I think there’s a special place in hell for my friend Dante, because he’s always trolling animal rights activists.

Dante’s in fur now.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you know that Shrek is a furry?

Yea, he’s got fur all ogre him

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeNoolands
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dead Gopher?

Just fur. It doesn't go anymore.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mind967
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the lion say to the zoo keeper that shaved its body bald but kept the mane?

.. Aww mane, no fur!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/duderdudeguy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
So proud of my daughter! We’re watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: β€œDog can’t hang because she’s a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:

Don’t you mean a β€œFur-rari”?

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Epic_pale
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
A power plant blows up near a aquarium...

and I had to be the one to tell my boss about the mutated eels. After I gathered all my courage, I said to him

β€œSir, the eels have fur all over them and are humanoid too!”

My boss looked so surprised, and was silent for a minute or two. Finally, he asked me

β€œFur-eel man?”

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side of a werewolf has the most fur?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagNolYa-Ralf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Which side of a cat has the most fur?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tydugusa
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2018
🚨︎ report

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