I was released for good behavior.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
He called it "Barq's at the Moon"
Are they the same thing as my landscaping budget?
A Huge Grant
A real Lebaneezer Scrooge.
I’m starting my own hedge fund.
It was fund a mental
my hedge fund manager hates reddit.
So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt
Does this mean we got money for nothing and our chicks for free?
They have Anti Money Laundering
Nope I got them all cut.
It's a mootual fund.
He sold his sole for rock'n'roll.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
Things are starting to take off around here
It's a slush fund.
It’s my hedge fund.
Would you like a few shares of my hedge fund?
A visit from the ethics department and immediate withdrawal of your funding.
He said, "for all in tents and porpoises, we come together to raise funds."
Something like that might be a good joke... someday...
I admit it was a crappy thing to do.
It's not like they will see any of it anyway.
but I'm nervous cuz I've never ran that far before
He just needed some seed funding
My first official dad joke.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! I’ll be putting this in my little one’s Reddit Scholarship Fund!
I call it my hedge fund
The other day, I was researching the stock market because I thought it wise to start investing at an early age. After hours of research and going through the myriad shares I could buy, I passed by one that caught my eye...the Teucrium Corn Fund. I could invest in corn, that'll surely stay steady, everyone needs corn! However, after awhile of second guessing myself, as I often do, I decided that I hold off on the stock market until I did more research and study. Yes, I'll invest in corn stocks when I have an ear for it.
... then you don't want to patronise a patronising patron.
Crowd funding
Through a syntax.
This is now the fifth one that has insufficient funds.
She wasn't that Inuit.
I'll be putting that 20¢ in my rainy day fund.
So we payed him in hedge funds
So at my school, we had a pipe burst.
Joke at the end of you want to skip
Now it's pretty normal in the midwest, where I live, to have this thing. It started with the fire alarm going off, because of the pressure decrease, and the school was evacuated. We were all eventually brought back, for it was cold. We sat in our gym for AN HOUR before being dismissed back to our classes.
So it's near the end of the day and I have gym class. And I'm having your normal conversation with a friend about the school's financial problems. And we were just talking about how the school is going to have to pay so much money for the new pipe and the ceiling tiles and the cleaning etc.
And then it was my moment to shine.
So the conversation is almost over and the friend says,
"It'll be a while before normal funds go back".
And I just say this:
"Yeah man, the school's money is going down the drain".
What do you call a savings account for obtaining more bushes?
A Hedge Fund!
