A list of puns related to "Free Lunch"
Wife: I got a free lunch today for watching a presentation on galvanized steel
Me: I hope they talk about joining a bunch of steel sheets together. That would be riviting.
Had lunch with a friend. When the waitress came with the check, she mentioned that if we called in and answered a few questions regarding the meal, I could get a free queso.
Without thinking, I said, "Case o' what?"
She looked rather unimpressed. I had to apologize by explaining I was a dad. She remained unimpressed. My friend was on the floor laughing. He's a dad too.
TL;DR - Dad-joked a waitress and won a queso shame.
Two high school students named Steve and Josh found themselves broke on a saturday afternoon while strolling around in the city mall. They hadn't eaten lunch and they were getting hungry, but alas, they had no money for food and they were hours away from home.
"I heard there's a place downtown where you can get a sandwich for free" Steve said to Josh.
"That sounds great, let's check it out" Josh replied, and they headed downtown.
They soon found the place. It was a small shop, too small to feel like a real business. The place had no tables or chairs, and not really much furniture at all. An old man stood behind a small counter and eyed them as they entered.
"Welcome to the Laughing Hoagie" he said.
"What is a laughing hoagie?" Josh wondered.
"It's the name of this sandwich place. This is not a regular sandwich shop. We have a special offer here for people who can't afford to pay for their food." the man said as he smiled a toothy smile at them.
"So it's true then," Josh blurted out, "we can get free food here?"
"Not so fast." The old man said. "There is a condition."
"What is it?" Steve wondered aloud.
"Well," the man started "you have to listen to one of my jokes, and the one of you who laughs the most genuine laugh gets a free sandwhich. The other one gets nothing."
As he said this, the old man opened a small refrigerator that stood behind the counter and produced a large, footlong sandwhich with ham, cheese, bacon, lettuce and tomatoes. It was covered in a white dressing and gave off a faint peppery aroma. The boys' mouths started watering at the sight of it.
"What? So only one of us gets a sandwhich?" Steve asked, taken aback.
"Those are the rules," the old man grinned, "if you don't like it, you may leave."
"Nah, we'll hear the joke." Josh said. Steve looked at him, and then nodded to the old man.
"All right." the old man rubbed his hands together as if preparing to dig into a strenuous task.
"What did the mother Buffalo say when her boy left for college?" he asked, and looked expectantly at the teens. They both stared at him with blank expressions.
"Bye Son!" he exclaimed, and struggled not to burst out giggling at his own quip. Josh chuckled a bit, but Steve just frowned.
"That was the worst joke I ever heard!" he exclaimed.
"Well," the old man said as he handed the sandwich over to Josh, "if you don't like jokes with really bad punchlines, then this sub is not for you."
twice today he impressed me.
first were out for lunch and hes kicking me under the table. me: "stop dude, that hurts!" him: "not to me."
then were at a store where they were they currently have a reading incentive program "...read at least 8 of the following titles and receive a free book" him: "so, can i get my free book now?" me: "what? no." him: "but i read all the titles..."
i bought him a book for his efforts.
He didn't know what to make for lunch. I said, "You have progressive soup in your cabinet." To which he replied, "I knew it was free thinking, but I didn't know it was that liberal!"
Me: Hey! Are you going to the presentation later? Free lunch!
Her: No, I don't think so. I can be really addicted to food so I'm trying to quite cold turkey.
Me: Well maybe they'll have warm turkey instead!
Groans from office
I prefer my lunch meat to be disease-free.
At a big family get together, 30+ people all around a big table eating lunch and my dad asks the whereabouts of his sister. My uncle says she's had to go to the vets, to which he replies:
" Could she not afford a doctor!?"
The simultaneous groans were amazing, and he had the biggest grin on his face!
However seeing as we have "free" healthcare here in the UK, it doesn't really make too much sense, but we let him have his moment
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