Frank Calvert Puns

Title

This is a point of view I have been seeing with increasing regularity on this sub and it is quite frankly baffling to me that people are beginning to pin blame at his feet as a contributing factor for the way the club is.

He is a coach, that is where is influence on the inside begins and ends. He does not pick the transfers, players or tactics nor is he the assistant. He is one man whose position in the modern footballing hierarchy causes him to be outranked by dozens of people many of whom are concerned with the clubs business affairs first and foremost.

He is seen around the touch line a lot but it’s accepted common knowledge at this point that the club wants to groom him and that he has a presence which makes it easy for him to stand out on the sidelines.

People are welcome to try and give evidence of why he is an issue but in terms of what he brings to the club it is far easier to find stories which frame him in a positive light.

His brief caretaker results aside, Ferguson is credited for the development of Dominic Calvert-Lewin, one of our few real success stories these last few years.

He has also been known to do what many us us wish we could do and call players out for their lack of commitment; not just on the pitch like with Moise Kean, but also in training when he reportedly had Kevin Mirallas and Morgan Schneiderlin sent home for goofing off, resulting in them being dropped from the squad for a bit. In an era where player power is often accused of going to far you’d think fans would be happy to have staff who have the presence to be above it.

Of all the people currently at the club he is one of the few who seems best connected with what many older fans still believe to be the Everton identity, i.e. a level of determination, commitment to the cause and desire for success that you’d run through a wall for. Some may think that attitude outdated but even in relatively modern times we have seen teams at the top level succeed with it either in winning trophies or punching up to a level they otherwise “shouldn’t” be playing at.

So let’s hear it; why do you consider Duncan Ferguson a problem? Is it because the board have kept him on over multiple managerial changes? That sounds like spuriousness to me.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Here are the names of every Republican senator and member of Congress who voted to sustain objections to certifying the electoral results in two states where Trump lost, Arizona and Pennsylvania, despite no evidence of fraud. The full House tallies for each vote are hereand here; the Senate votes are here and here.

In the Senate:

• Ted Cruz (R-Texas)
• Josh Hawley (R-Mo.)
• Cindy Hyde-Smith (R-Miss.)
• John Kennedy (R-La.)
• Cynthia Lummis (R-Wyo.)
• Roger Marshall (R-Kan.)
• Rick Scott (R-Fla.)
• Tommy Tuberville (R-Ala.)

In the House:

• Robert Aderholt (R-Ala.)
• Rick Allen (R-Ga.)
• Jodey Arrington (R-Texas)
• Brian Babin (R-Texas)
• Jim Baird (R-Ind.)
• Jim Banks (R-Ind.)
• Cliff Bentz (R-Ore.)
• Jack Bergman (R-Mich.)
• Stephanie Bice (R-Okla.)
• Andy Biggs (R-Ariz.)
• Dan Bishop (R-N.C.)
• Lauren Boebert (R-Colo.)
• Mike Bost (R-Ill.)
• Mo Brooks (R-Ala.)
• Ted Budd (R-N.C.)
• Tim Burchett (R-Tenn.)
• Michael Burgess (R-Texas)
• Ken Calvert (R-Calif.)
• Kat Cammack (R-Fla.)
• Jerry Carl (R-Ala.)
• Buddy Carter (R-Ga.)
• John Carter (R-Texas)
• Madison Cawthorn (R-N.C.)
• Steve Chabot (R-Ohio)
• Ben Cline (R-Va.)
• Michael Cloud (R-Texas)
• Andrew Clyde (R-Ga.)
• Tom Cole (R-Okla.)
• Rick Crawford (R-Ark.)
• Warren Davidson (R-Ohio)
• Scott DesJarlais (R-Tenn.)
• Mario Diaz-Balart (R-Fla.)
• Byron Donalds (R-Fla.)
• Jeff Duncan (R-S.C.)
• Neal Dunn (R-Fla.)
• Ron Estes (R-Kan.)
• Pat Fallon (R-Texas)
• Michelle Fischbach (R-Minn.)
• Scott Fitzgerald (R-Wis.)
• Chuck Fleischmann (R-Tenn.)
• Virginia Foxx (R-N.C.)
• Scott Franklin (R-Fla.)
• Russ Fulcher (R-Idaho)
• Matt Gaetz (R-Fla.)
• Mike Garcia (R-Calif.)
• Bob Gibbs (R-Ohio)
• Carlos Gimenez (R-Fla.)
• Louie Gohmert (R-Texas)
• Bob Good (R-Va.)
• Lance Gooden (R-Texas)
• Paul Gosar (R-Ariz.)
• Garret Graves (R-La.)
• Sam Graves (R-Mo.)
• Mark Green (R-Tenn.)
• Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.)
• Morgan Griffith (R-Va.)
• Michael Guest (R-Miss.)
• Jim Hagedorn (R-Minn.)
• Andy Harris (R-Md.)
• Diana Harshbarger (R-Tenn.)
• Vicky Hartzler (R-Mo.)
• Kevin Hern (R-Okla.)
• Yvette Herrell (R-N.M.)
• Jody Hice (R-Ga.)
• Clay Higgins (R-La.)
• Richard Hudson (R-N.C.)

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

BamBOO!

They’re on standbi

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Pilot on me!!

Aston Villa 2-0 Newcastle

Aston Villa

Emiliano Martínez, Tyrone Mings, Ezri Konsa, Ashley Young, Matthew Cash, Emiliano Buendía, Douglas Luiz, John McGinn, Danny Ings, Jacob Ramsey, Anwar El Ghazi.

Subs: Conor Hourihane, Jed Steer, Kortney Hause, Matt Targett, Marvelous Nakamba, Wesley, Axel Tuanzebe, Carney Chukwuemeka, Jaden Philogene-Bidace.

Newcastle United

Freddie Woodman, Federico Fernández, Jamaal Lascelles, Fabian Schär, Matt Ritchie, Jacob Murphy, Joe Willock, Miguel Almirón, Isaac Hayden, Allan Saint-Maximin, Callum Wilson.

Subs: Ciaran Clark, Mark Gillespie, Jeff Hendrick, Ryan Fraser, Dwight Gayle, Emil Krafth, Joelinton, Jamal Lewis, Sean Longstaff.

>⚽️ Ings (45+3') (1-0)

>⚽️ El Ghazi (62') (2-0)

______

Leeds 2-2 Everton

Leeds United

Illan Meslier, Liam Cooper, Pascal Struijk, Kalvin Phillips, Júnior Firpo, Luke Ayling, Mateusz Klich, Stuart Dallas, Jack Harrison, Raphinha, Patrick Bamford.

Subs: Adam Forshaw, Rodrigo, Hélder Costa, Tyler Roberts, Kristoffer Klaesson, Jamie Shackleton, Cody Drameh, Crysencio Summerville, Charlie Cresswell.

Everton

Jordan Pickford, Michael Keane, Yerry Mina, Lucas Digne, Seamus Coleman, Demarai Gray, Abdoulaye Doucouré, Allan, Dominic Calvert-Lewin, Richarlison, Alex Iwobi.

Subs: Asmir Begovic, Fabian Delph, Andros Townsend, Jean-Philippe Gbamin, Mason Holgate, Jonjoe Kenny, Moise Kean, Tom Davies, Jarrad Branthwaite.

>⚽️ Calvert-Lewin (30') (0-1)

>⚽️ Klich (41') (1-1)

>⚽️ Gray (50') (1-2)

>⚽️ Raphinha (71')

______

Palace 0-0 Brentford

Crystal Palace

Vicente Guaita, Joachim Andersen, Marc Guehi, Tyrick Mitchell, Joel Ward, Cheikhou Kouyaté, James McArthur, Conor Gallagher, Christian Benteke, Jeff Schlupp, Wilfried Zaha.

Subs: James Tomkins, Martin Kelly, Jordan Ayew, Jack Butland, Jairo Riedewald, Remi Matthews, Jean-Philippe Mateta, Jesurun Rak-Sakyi.

Brentford

David Raya, Pontus Jansson, Ethan Pinnock, Kristoffer Ajer, Vitaly Janelt, Frank Onyeka, Christian Norgaard, Rico Henry, Sergi Canós, Ivan Toney, Bryan Mbeumo.

Subs: Álvaro Fernández, Charles Goode, Yoane Wissa, Saman Ghoddos, Mads Bech Sörensen, Marcus Forss

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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28976. (eBook PDF)OCP Java SE 8 Programmer II Exam Guide (Exam 1Z0-809) 7th Edition by Kathy Sierra, Bert Bates, Elisabeth Robson

28977. (eBook PDF)AP Chemistry 10th Edition by John T. Moore, Richard H. Langley

28978. (eBook PDF)A topical approach to life-span development 9th Edition by John W. Santrock

28979. (eBook PDF)Business Driven Information Systems 6th Edition by Paige Baltzan

28980. (eBook PDF)Life-Span Development 17th Edition by John W. Santrock

28981. (eBook PDF)Cissp All-In-One Exam Guide 8th Edition by Shon Harris, Fernando Maymi

28982. (eBook PDF)CompTIA Cloud+ Certification Study Guide, Second Edition (Exam CV0-002) 2nd Edition by Scott Wilson, Eric A. Vanderburg

28983. (eBook PDF)The Art of Watching Films 9th Edition by Dennis W. Petrie, Joseph M. Boggs

28984. (eBook PDF)Shrm-Cp/Shrm-Scp Certification All-In-One Exam Guide by Et Al Willer

28985. (eBook PDF)Junqueira’s Basic Histology Text and Atlas 15th Edition by Anthony L. Mescher

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28991. (eBook PDF)Sherris Medical Microbiology 7th Edition by Kenneth J. Ryan, Nafees Ahmad, J. Andrew Alspaugh, W. Lawrence Drew

28992. (eBook PDF)Maingot’s Abdominal Operations 13th Edition by Michael Zinner, Stanley Ashley, O. Joe Hines

28993. (eBook PDF)Experience Psychology 4th Edition by Laura A. King

28994. (eBook PDF)CURRENT Diagnosis & Treatment Pediatr

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I won't be doing that today!

[Removed]

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭

There hasn't been a post all year!

It was about a weak back.

You take away their little brooms

It’s pronounced “Noel.”

Why

After all his first name is No-vac

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

• Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

• French/Finnish art

• Country/Canadian rap

• Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

• Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap