My 6 year old just told me this joke... What's stronger than a fortune cookie?

A hammer.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jeenyus47
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My daughter opening her fortune cookie:

β€œHey, there’s no fortune in here” Me: β€œthat’s unfortunate”

My fortune cookie: β€œyour sense of humor will get you through difficult times”.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spartan-Swill
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My fortune cookie did good
πŸ‘︎ 107
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Magnitite
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
This punny fortune from a fortune cookie.
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeysLikeApples
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2018
🚨︎ report
This punny fortune from a fortune cookie.
πŸ‘︎ 434
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeysLikeApples
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
🚨︎ report
I received a fortune cookie with no fortune inside.

Without hesitation my wife said, "that's unfortunate"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PieNapps
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
This punny fortune from a fortune cookie
πŸ‘︎ 474
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeysLikeApples
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Sometimes it is too easy... Friend: What a ripoff! My fortune cookie is empty. Me: It is not a rip-off, just un-fortune-ate.
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/smonaghan213
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I opened a fortune cookie, it said

"Your S.O. is also your friend... nakama."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/odraencoded
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the vampire find in his fortune cookie?

"Be Positive"

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlueBayB
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
This punny fortune from a fortune cookie.
πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MonkeysLikeApples
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
Well, screw you, fortune cookie!
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Today my fortune cookie had 3 strips of paper in it instead of 1

I feel very fortunate!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/furushotakeru
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
🚨︎ report
First fortune cookie of 2018 was a winner
πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I lost my fortune cookie for the sake of a dad joke

I was out to lunch with a few colleagues at a local Chinese buffet. The way seating is laid out, we four were seated at a long table with a couple on either end of us. The couple to my left received their fortune cookies and the lady cracked hers open. I heard her disappointment as she told her husband in anguish "There's no fortune in mine! My fortune cookie has no fortune!"

I looked at her and said "Ma'am, that's unfortunate." All my colleagues collectively sighed, and my buddy across the table from me said "You know what scrovak, that was so bad, she gets your cookie now."

The lady was delighted both at the joke and the new cookie.

πŸ‘︎ 233
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scrovak
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2017
🚨︎ report
My fortune cookie said β€œYou are as smart as you are good looking.”

Well, screw you too, cookie!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Had to share; my son opened his fortune cookie this afternoon to find it empty....

He declared "that is most unfortunate".

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BiGmNkY2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I just saw a commercial for a fortune cookie maker

And they say you cant create your own destiny.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WinkleStinkle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Every time my dad reads a fortune cookie....

"Help, I'm trapped in a chinese fortune cookie factory."

Never gets old.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/joelrizner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Just ate half a fortune cookie but the fortune was still inside.

Guess you can call it fortunATE.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/squeevey
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2016
🚨︎ report
A fortune cookie just got me.

Good bakers always make plenty of dough.

That's no fortune.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eabigyear
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Dadjoked by a Fortune Cookie...

http://i.imgur.com/qYnhTuQ.jpg?1

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gijen3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Got my friend after he opened a fortune cookie today...

He opened it up and complained, "Hey, there's no fortune in here!" to which I replied, "That's unfortunate."

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_Stalin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Fortune Cookie

Whenever we were at a chinese restaurant, my dad would read his forture cookie, "Help, I'm being held captive in a chinese cookie factory"

This is a proud tradition that i carry on with my children.

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ethanladen
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad always tells the same joke whenever he opens a fortune cookie...

Q: Where does virgin wool come from?

A: UGLY SHEEP.

...still makes me laugh no matter how many times I hear it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragonalex
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2013
🚨︎ report
I didn't have a fortune in my cookie today....

How unfortunate.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ddrake01
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I just found a fortune cookie with a bad fortune in it.....

How unfortunate for me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ApexDovah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I got an empty fortune cookie

It was very unfortunate

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gardian20
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
🚨︎ report
We were eating take out and my nana said "They didn't give us a fortune cookie"

I said "that's unfortunate."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DripSquirt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
I open fortune cookie to find no fortune

Dad: Well thats unfortunate

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Metartist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2018
🚨︎ report
Kid: There’s no fortune in this fortune cookie

Dad: That’s unfortunate

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ferny77
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
My daughter opened a fortune cookie only to find it was empty...

Me: "Well that was unfortunate."

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kmdub
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
🚨︎ report
My Dad's answer when my Mom asked what his fortune cookie says

Help I'm trapped in a fortune cookie factory.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Every time he has a fortune cookie...

He opens the cookie, pretends to read the fortune and says : "Help! I'm being held prisoner in a fortune cookie factory"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Taze8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.