I'll never forget my grandfathers last words to me..
"Would you stop shaking the fucking ladder?!"
DOES ANYONE ELSE FORGET THE ABBREVIATION FOR MAINE?
Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow
It’s going to be minus 45.
When I left home to go on a business trip, my wife said "Don't forget to write"
I thought, "That's unlikely... it's a basic skill, isn't it?"
I’ll never forget the day I saw the ugliest man I’ve ever seen.
The dude thought it was funny to copy my every move, he’s lucky there was a pane of glass between us.
I forget things once in awhile.
I have Someteimer’s.
(Courtesy of my mom).
Was checking my son's essay about the countryside and saw he kept writing the word 'hll'. So I told him to never forget...
I'll never forget the day I first met my wife. We were at a fancy dress party and she was stood there, looking gorgeous and slim, with her fat mate...
They'd gone together dressed as the number 10...
I knew there and then that she was the One!!
Don’t forget to tip the waitress
I had a joke about a grizzly in my car but i always forget the punch line ..
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?
They forgot the punchline
A painter forgets to paint the trim a different color.
The home owner comes out and says “That’s all white.”
Don't forget your protective eyewear
I’ll never forget the last thing my late grandfather said to me.
Why can't an elephant forget?
He has a trunk full of memories.
Why did the limping Donkey cross the road ?...Ahh forget it.
.. Sorry for such a lame Ass joke.
I'll never forget my old man's last words before he kicked the bucket:
"Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
Who does a Muslim ask when he forgets about the greatest Mughal Emperor?
This might be hard to get, but a Man walks into a tavern and..ahh forget it.
I'll never forget when my dad told me, "Find yourself a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you!” A little taken aback, I asked him what he meant. He explained...
“She knows how to make bad decisions and stick by them!"
What is that 1 memory that the computer will never forget?
Dad: Hey, don’t forget— tomorrow is Father’s Day.
Me: Don’t forget its son day too.
My wife said, “Why did you forget to get all the stuff from the grocery store that I wrote down?”
I said, “When I got there, I felt.....listless.”
When God integrated Planet Earth, he didn’t forget his integral calculus lesson.
He remembered to add the sea.
I’ll never forget my 6th, 13th, 18th, 21st, 23rd, and 27th birthdays, they were great
Some of them were even prime!
Dad said to me "Do you ever go into a room and forget what you went in there for?"
Great dad, undistinguished fireman.
Don’t forget to tip your server
What do you call it when you forget where you put the bacon?
I hate it when I forget to turn off the toaster
I guess you can say I'm black toast intolerant
What happens when the teacher forgets the magnets for science lab?
I'll never forget my dad's last words...
Are you sure it's loaded with blanks?
I’ll never forget my first visit to the rodeo.
When I reach home, my 1.5 y.o. son rushes out to the gate to sit in my lap while I park the car. Then he just grabs the steering and starts shaking it with brrrmmm brrrmmm sound. His cute antics always make me forget that he's suffering from a rare disease.
It's called Parking Son's disease.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger.
Don't forget to watch the big parade tomorrow!
The calendars are going to March...
I had to go to a specialist to check out my bladder. The guy I saw was frickin jacked and kept warning me not to forget an umbrella.
I was like what are you some kinda meaty urologist?
I’ll never forget the moment my doctor told me That I was deaf
It was really hard to hear.
Forget Elf on a shelf....
Don’t forget to dress warm tomorrow
I heard it’s going to be minus 45
When I was leaving home for the first time, my dad said to me, "Don't forget to write."
I thought, "That's unlikely. It's a basic skill, isn't it ?"
I will never forget the last thing what my late grandfather told me.
I'll never forget the last thing my dad said to me before he kicked the bucket.......
He said: "Son, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"
I'll never forget the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket.
"Watch how far I can kick this bucket!!!:
I told my dad, “Don’t forget tomorrow is Mother’s Day!”
Dad : Don’t forget it’s son day too.
I’ll never forget my dads last words before he kicked the bucket. He looked me in the eyes and said
“Son”... “how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
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