Did you know that in some countries, mathematicians are forced to pay fines for being unlawful to Jesus?

Yeah, it’s called a Sin-tax.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hwhouston517
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
🚨︎ report
A man was murdered by being forced to drink bleach

It was a clean kill

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZJoe2316
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A friend forced me to look at a picture of mount Rushmore before it was carved.

It was unpresidented.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Croissnat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A Scottish man was just forced to wear pants!

It damn nearly kilt him...

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/clark_creationz
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a creepy guy who forced me to take home a bunch of horses with swords in their mouths.

He gave me knightmares.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Colonel_ChowChow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the e. Coli bacterium tell his brother when forced to eat cruciferous vegetables?

Bro-coli

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MjarjoSAC11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 189
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tburns1469
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife complained that I don't do enough housework, so she forced me to vacuum

It really sucks

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Given social distancing regulations, a ton of condiment companies are being forced to cancel July 4th campaigns like sponsored concerts, where they planned to hand out signature color sunglasses to attendees.

Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DeusJZ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Were you forced to walk 500 miles then walk 500 more?

You could be due compensation. Contact the Pro-Claimers now!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why were the melons forced to have a small wedding?

Because they cantaloupe.

Courtesy of me sick and loopy at the grocery store.

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drdoggomd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Breaking news! Wineries across the country are forced to temporarily layoff employees.

It's being called the great Merlot furlough.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LunOverdose
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
🚨︎ report
With all the shortages, we've been forced to buy the John Wayne toilet paper.

It's rough, tough, and don't take shit off anyone

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/btross
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
So forced
πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jrum7000
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call when a boat is forced to do stuff by other boats?

Pier Pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclopropagative
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the penny that was forced to do something against its will?

It did not give con cent.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone forced me to watch a horror movie about clowns by punching me all the way to the cinema.

They beat me to IT.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OrikamiPanio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was Prussia forced to leave the First Schleswig War?

They were Pruss-ured by other nations.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hello-i-am-fox
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I get very aggressive when I'm forced to play certain stringed instruments

Don't make me use violins.

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joey_Jingle_Bells
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a terrible nightmare in which I was forced to eat my own clone.

I almost shat myself.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
The Polar Vortex forced them to cancel tonight's performance of Hamilton in Chicago.

Once again, brrr killed Hamilton.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NatrixHasYou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
🚨︎ report
My father has forced me to eat German sausages the entire year!

It has been the wurst year ever!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone asked me, if I were forced to, would I eat a big beetle or a small one?

I chose the smaller one of course! It’s the lesser of the two weevils.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spacecadet6966
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2018
🚨︎ report
Archie Bunker was forced to choose between his wife and his drinking habit.

You can’t have your keg and Edith, too

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FreakyStarrbies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the pine forced to walk the plank?

Because he was guilty of tree-ason.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pdonkey
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I scrabbled around for a punny title but was forced to eat my words
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/c0253484
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2018
🚨︎ report
I am forced to wear glasses while programming

Just because I can't C#

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pinnouse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2015
🚨︎ report
The surfing shop was forced to raise prices...

Across the board

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
🚨︎ report
Where do casinos put people who are forced to listen to dad jokes?

The eye roller suite.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/George_Zip1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
🚨︎ report
This might seemed forced, but I fear it's awakened something within me.
πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2016
🚨︎ report
I was forced to speak in a gravel voice all day

It was pretty rough

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rimtato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s with all this forced two factor authentication?

What’s with all this forced two factor authentication?

I think they’ve gone TWO FAH.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealSilicaGel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
🚨︎ report
πŸ‘︎ 66
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tutandgroan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
🚨︎ report
A friend of mine was pretty upset when he was forced to crowd surf at a concert last week.

He was up in arms the entire time.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stumcgooo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was the Caeser Salad chef forced to go on holidays?

Because he a croutons of leave.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheKaiminator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
A campsite was forced to freeze its operations for a whole day when a spiteful customer paid his entire expenses in 5 cent coins.

The campsite reports that it is the first time that they've encountered such a tent nickel difficulty.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2017
🚨︎ report
I was forced to drink comic sans once.

I was not really font of it. . . . . . I am sorry, this is a terrible joke, but I cannot stop laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ZackVixACD
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Many melons are forced to have large wedding ceremonies when they get married

Because they cantaloupe

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NegativePrimitive
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
🚨︎ report
It would be a forced error imgur.com/gallery/mcHFg2s
πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Morris_Less
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
🚨︎ report
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Degtyrev
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Has CoViD19 forced you to wear a mask and glasses?

If so, you may be entitled to condensation.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ktoner1017
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report

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