Was in my local gardening centre looking at outdoor floor boards when the owner asked me if I wanted decking?
Luckily I got the first punch in.
Did you hear about the comedian who fell through some floor boards?
He was just going through a stage
What was Julius Caesar's answer when the flooring installer asked what he wanted to do with the old floor boards?
Carpet dem.
My GF was slicing tomatoes...
One of them slipped off the cutting board onto the floor and she gasped in surprise. I asked her what happened and she said "one of my tomatoes is trying to get away" So of course I replied "Well did you ketchup to it?" And then I giggled for the rest of the evening.
Dadjoked while eating cookies
I brought some cookies over to our board game day and after we were finished dinner, I brought out the cookies. My friend cleared the dinner plates and then quickly regretted it, as the cookies crumbled all over his floor. Well that was a crummy idea, I told him.
Did you hear about the actor that fell through the floor boards?
Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.
