How do you find Will Smith in a snow storm?
You look for fresh prints
My dad always told me “don’t be quick to find faults”.
Good man, terrible geologist.
Chinese take out: 8 dollars. Tip: 2 dollars. Getting home to find out they forgot part of your order...
If you need to find the longest side of a moose
You are lost in winter but find a cabin. You find it has a fireplace, a kerosene lamp and a stove, but you only have one match. What item in the cabin do you light first?
My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”
where do you find lads in a concert?
Though I did find the color palate of this particular film rather surprising
Where do you find the best pirates?
Costco. You can get a 4 pound apple pie for like $12.
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
Why did it take the Roman General 10 tries to find the buried treasure?
My girlfriend wanted to know what I look like with my glasses on but i told her I’ve been trying to find them for three days, she said “please I need to see”
I said yeah me too that’s why I’m looking for my glasses
A waiter asks the "How did you find your steak, Sir?"
Me: I just looked next to the mash potatoes and there it was!
Source: tedthestoner2.0.
I can't find my 'Gone In 60 seconds' DVD.
It was here a minute ago.
I come up with a really lame two word gay joke the other day that i was afraid my gay mate might find offensive
Mate was feeling down so I told him there's a positive and negative to everything, you just gotta find it...
Poor fella can't even put batteries in right....
When people find out I’m not a very good electrician
I just bought a dictionary today and bought it home to find out that all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
How do you find a blind man at a nude beach?
When I was a teenager, I tried really hard to find the hypotenuse of a circle
That's when I realized it is pointless.
A woman walks into a music shop and finds an album for 95 cents and pays for it with a dollar
Why can you never find a hippo hiding in a tree?
Because they are so good at it.
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
I used to be a flat earther. I even set out to sail across the ocean to find the big ice wall.
But eventually I came around.
There was a joke I wanted to share with my family but I can’t find it on here..
Why couldn’t the priest find his rosary?
Ngl I find it pretty funny
Where should you go to find a date after you leave your ex?
I can't find my scrubber in the shower
When I was digging through the wardrobe on the weekend, I managed to find a present for the kids that I wrapped in a box last year and forgot to give them. Bargain
Can't wait to see their faces when they realize they have a puppy.
I was up all of last night, trying to find my keys
police find two teenagers eating and drinking fireworks and battery acid
one was let off and the other one was charged
How does a giraffe find a job?
When he found out I was sick, my friend messaged me, hoping that I will quickly find a deep hole in a ground full of water.
I'm happy he wished me to get well soon.
A guy walks into a bar to find pieces of meat hanging above him…
He asks the barman about it and the barman explains, “If you can jump up and hit one, you’ll get a free drink, but if you miss, you have to buy everyone a round!”
The guy looks up and ponders for a minute then replies, “Nah, the steaks are too high.”
Sometimes, when you find yourself walking through a shallow pool for no reason...
...you have to stop and ask yourself what you’re wading for...
I heard they want to find a new actor to play Iron Man
Guess they'll need to cast someone.
My girlfriend in college was obsessed with trying to find the largest known prime number.
I wonder what she’s up to now.
I opened my radiator to find a lone insect, wearing sunglasses and a leather jecket. It said. "ayyyy!"
I find it really hard to say what my wife does for a living.
She sells seashells by the sea shore.
How am I supposed to find the Big Apple?
I don’t even know where the Minneapolis!
I can't find my limbo bar. Someone must have stolen it!
I mean, how low can you go?
Boss: I find it highly suspicious that you are sick only on weekdays.
Me: It must be my weakened immune system.
How did you find your steak, sir?
Right next to the potatoes.
I just bought a Thesaurus at the store and bought it home to find all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
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