I just got fired from a job where I made six figures last year.
They said I was the worst employee at the toy factory.
My friend and I are working on a tight deadline in our Dracula action figure business.
I have to make every second Count.
Everyone tried so hard to figure out why Mr. Edwards changed his name to Mr. Evans
But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E
No one could figure out who set the Cathedral of Notre Dame on fire..
... But Quasimodo had a hunch.
My friend couldn't figure out why he kept getting wet on his deck when it rained. Turns out he wasn't standing under the awning.
Relationships between hockey 🏒 players and figure skaters are always doomed to failure.
No one is willing to break the ice.
Trying to figure out which picture is better of my son.
I have one without a filter and one with a filter https://imgur.com/BCc6kx4.jpg
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?
My uncle died last week because the doctors couldn't figure out his blood type.
At least my uncle was being supportive as he kept on yelling, "Be positive!"
What historical figure is known for saying "ehh, good enough."?
My Dad told me how to figure out of you're drunk
He said: Son, see those 2 cars over there? If you ever see 4 then you know you're drunk
Me: But Dad, there's only 1 car?
My friend told me I could make six figures a year by becoming a sculptor
He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled.
I couldn't figure out how to fasten my seatbelt...
I bought my kids Avengers action figures for Christmas so I don’t have to sit and build.
They were already assembled.
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
Which historical figure would you pick to be your teacher and why?
The Wright Brothers, cause they make time fly.
Figure out the joke yourself
I tried to figure out how far 20,000 leagues under the sea actually is.
My son made me a whale figure
It was really whale made!
What did the tree say after it was cut down? I can't figure it out.
I am trying to figure out whether that fuel tanker in front of me is full or not.
Your gas is as good as mine.
My friend got me an action figure of a birdman with an abacus for Christmas
I didn’t really want it but it’s the Thoth that counts
I bought a coin machine yesterday and I can't figure out how it works
It literally makes no sense
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer
How did the detective figure out who the engineer murdered?
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
I couldn't figure out how to fasten my seat belt...
I’ve started turning puns into homemade action figures.
Why do beginner artist always forget to draw the stick figure’s thumb when they draw a fist?
They forgot the punchline
I couldn't figure out why the U.S. Mint wasn't working...
But then it started to make cents.
Can’t figure out what game this is, could you send me a link?
Scientists recently performed an experiment to figure out the gender of an ant. They would place them in a tub of water.
If they sank, girl ant. If they floated, buoyant.
I was going crazy, looking around, trying to figure out who said "heads up"
And that's when it hit me...
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger.
I couldn’t figure out why my checkbook wouldn’t balance. It turns out I was adding instead of subtracting.
And that made all the difference.
You’ll chuckle when you figure it out. :)
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
I can't figure out what IDK means....
no one else seems to know either.
My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
No one could figure out who set fire to the Cathedral of Notre Dame.
But Quasimodo had a hunch.
Everyone remembers the historical figure Karl Marx
But no one has ever heard of his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
Everyone has heard of the historical figure Karl Marx.....
But no one ever remembers his sister Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
My friend told me I could make six figures a year if I was a sculptor
He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled
My brother and I are on a tight deadline to make a bunch of Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
My brother and I make Dracula action figures for a living, and we are on a really tight deadline.
I have to make every second Count.
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