Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
What do you call a wolf that has things figured out?
I just got fired from a job where I made six figures last year.
They said I was the worst employee at the toy factory.
Slowly figuring out why I am single
I waited & stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun was...
I couldn't figure out why the frisbee was getting bigger and bigger...
After 20 years of attempts, my uncle finally figured out a recipe for breath fresheners made of bulls genitals...
It's a teste mint to his determination.
My friend and I are working on a tight deadline in our Dracula action figure business.
I have to make every second Count.
I figured out why Teslas are so expensive .
It's because they charge a lot.
I just figured out what’s wrong with my brain
On the left side there’s nothing right and on the right side there’s nothing left
People who can't figure out how to keep their dang masks over their noses are mouthbreathers.
Everyone tried so hard to figure out why Mr. Edwards changed his name to Mr. Evans
But after all these years, it's still a Mr. E
I couldn't figure out how the change machine worked...
I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"...
But it's just a curd to me...
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
No one could figure out who set the Cathedral of Notre Dame on fire..
... But Quasimodo had a hunch.
I'm running a D&D campaign and I figured out the best riddle for the players to solve to open a door.
"Take thine father's blade and ascend!"
>!The solution is Pa's Sword 1234!<
A scientist figured out how to put a light bulb into his brain.
He had a very bright mind
I was figuring out what career path I should take.
Geology rocks, geography is where it’s at. But ultimately, making mirrors is what I really see myself doing.
I finally figured out why Waldo always wears stripes.
He doesn't want to be spotted.
Relationships between hockey 🏒 players and figure skaters are always doomed to failure.
No one is willing to break the ice.
I have a fetish for figuring things out
I just came to that realization.
I figured out the secret chord that David played!
I entered 10 puns in a joke contest. I figured one of them would win...
My Son just told me this one:
Son: I can spell Yacht!
Dad: Ok, spell Yacht
Son: Y-A-H-T
Dad: You forgot the C
Son: No, it’s under the Yacht
Trying to figure out which picture is better of my son.
I have one without a filter and one with a filter https://imgur.com/BCc6kx4.jpg
I miss my deceased father and his dadjokes, so I figured I’d text him.
Where do toy stores keep their Terminator action figures?
From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"
True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."
I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"
He responds, "it's dead grass."
I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"
.
.
.
He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.
My uncle died last week because the doctors couldn't figure out his blood type.
At least my uncle was being supportive as he kept on yelling, "Be positive!"
According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex
What historical figure is known for saying "ehh, good enough."?
Not sure if OP was going for a pun
My friend told me I could make six figures a year by becoming a sculptor
He technically wasn't lying, but I still feel misled.
The CEOs of Miller, Bud, and Guinness walk into a bar
The bartender asks what they'd like.
The executive of Miller orders a Miller Lite, so the bartender gives it to him. The executive of Bud orders a Bud Light, and he's given one. The bartender looks at the CEO of Guinness, and he asks for a Coke. The bartender, bewildered, hands him the Coke and asks why he didn't order a Guinness. In reply, he said,
"I figured if those two weren't drinking beer, then neither would I!"
I asked my Dad why he decided to buy a boat?
He said "There was a sail."
Everyone has heard of the historical figure Karl Marx.
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
Everyone has heard of the historical figure Karl Marx
But no one remembers his sister, Onya, inventor of the starting pistol.
My brother and I are working on a tight deadline in making Dracula action figures.
I have to make every second Count.
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
I figured out why Teslas are so expensive.
It’s because they charge a lot.
No one could figure out who set fire to the Cathedral of Notre Dame.
But Quasimodo had a hunch.
I've had a hard time figuring out why I don't consider cottage cheese truly "cheese"
But it's just a curd to me
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