"Stop mass debating".
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
Edit: Thank you for the awards.
I was expecting this to go noticed like most of my other posts. You peeps rock!
I said "That means it's pasture bedtime."
A babooooom!
Theoretical Fizz-ics.
The T-rac-tor
Can you smell carrots?
Pasture bedtime
"I'm a huge metal fan"
They are outstanding in their field.
and he counted 396 of them.
But once he rounded them all up, he had 400.
The other responds: "Well, I'm a big metal fan".
Then it hit me
The caption read ‘I’m outstanding in this field!’
"That's the goal at least."
Finally the wolf died and the baby lamb walked out of the wolf and rejoined it’s momma in the flock of sheep. Turns out the wolf died of internal bleating.
All credit goes to my coworker.
One looks over at the other. sniff sniff, “Do you smell carrots?”
He scored a home run every single at bat, and always the exact same way. Way over right field, too high for anyone to reach, and it always landed in exactly the 17th row of the stands, give or take a couple feet.
He earned the nickname “the machine” for how consistently he hit the exact same spot every time. Right field, 17th row, every single time. He did this for 20 years before he retired. Tickets to the 2-3 seats that the ball always landed on sold for over $2k a pop by the time he retired because you were guaranteed at least a couple home run balls.
And the day he retired a reporter asked him “How does it feel to be retiring as the greatest hitter of all time?”
Hugh just looked at the reporter puzzled. “What do you mean?” He said.
The reporter clarified “literally over 5,000 times you went to the plate and hit a home run to right field, 17th row of the stands!”
Hugh looked dejected and disappointed “yeah, my greatest failure...”
“What do you mean?” Said the reporter incredulously.
Hugh let’s out a long sigh, and looked down at the ground quietly for a moment before finally speaking.
“I’ve been aiming left this whole time”
My kid said, "Why did you come and get me?"
Me: "Its pasture bed time."
Hey guys, relatively new dad here. Pretty proud of myself because this came naturally. My 7 mo daughter, wife and I were hiking yesterday. My daughter was strapped to the front of me, and she started to stink. We found a field to lay her on her changing mat and change her diaper. She had a complete explosion so it required an outfit change. I looked up at my wife and said “looks like I’ll be performing a field dressing”. Corny af I know, but it made my wife laugh 😆!
...and now my voice is strained.
So he could Rest in Peas.
"There's humungous fungus amongus!"
From a well, actually..
It was a knick-knack paddy whack
He broke the seed limit
The police said this is the first known case of a knick knack paddy whack
Thatcher in the rye.
Something about them is just earie.
Cow 1: are you worried about getting mad cow disease?
Cow 2: of course not... I’m not a cow!
Guy #2: That would explain why they look so grainy
It was an a-maize-ing experience
The steaks have never been higher.
Past-your-eyes-d
Because it’s pasture age
.. But the Bull charges.
Apparently, he was out standing in his field.
But it seemed like a Phishing attempt to me
Current events make it less attractive.
All hail The Double Pun. Mic drop
I said "It's pasture bedtime."
I said “It’s pasture bedtime”.
Does it mean it’s pasture bedtime?
is it pasture bedtime?
does that mean it's pasture bedtime?
A babooooom!
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
They Moooooved.
