Fetching Puns

They think it's good for their bark

The obstetrician came to the bridge, squinted into the night and said:

"Congratulations, Captain. It's a buoy!"

A lab-rat!

It may not sound too impressive, but he gets them from the neighbor's fridge

You know what they say, practice makes purr fetch

She said, “Quit trying to make ‘fetch’ happen.”

That way he can spend all day saying “Come, Stay”, “Go, Stay”, “Fetch, Stay” and “Stay, Stay”.

I said I'd tell him later

Brochure.

I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.

too farfetched.

I know, it sounds a bit far-fetched.

It had a purple rein.

So that's two things I can cross off my bucket list.

An ela-stick

Ok I’ll admit it: that one was a bit of a stretch.

It seems far fetched to me. I'll believe it when pigs fly

I think that's a bit far fetched.

Because they are koala tea.

Because fetch is never going to happen

I think that’s a bit far fetched.

It may sound far-fetched but it’s true.

I watched it all unfold.

It sounds pretty average to me

I went full sexist pig, “YOU'RE in charge of cooking around here woman and YOU should do it, because it's YOUR job and I can just wait for my coffee.”

She replied coldly, “No, YOU should do it and besides, it's in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

I guffawed, “I can’t believe that, show me!”

So she fetched the Bible and opened to the New Testament and showed me the top of several pages, that it indeed says, “HEBREWS!”

Once upon a time, there was a small desert village with a single well on the outskirts of the town. One morning, a woman went to the well to fetch water for the day. The lady was crying and the well heard this. A voice came from the well and asked “what’s wrong?”

The lady stopped sobbing and asked the well, in utter disbelief, “you can talk?”

“Yes” the well said, “long ago, the witch living in this town gave life to me so I could protect the towns people”

“Alas” the woman said, “I am the daughter of that witch. She lived in peace with the town for many years, but the new mayor, who is a violent and hateful man, riled the townspeople up against her. The town burnt my mom at the stake! I am still young and do not know much magic. I tried to curse the town, but failed, and now I fear I may never avenge my mother.”

“Do not be afraid” the well said, “I will take care of this.”

The next morning the mayor was going to the well to fetch water when he heard an odd noise. He peered over the edge to look down as far as he could when an impossibly long arm shot up at him. The arm grabbed the mayor and dragged him down into the depths of the well. There was a horrible crunching sound and the mayor was never seen again. The townsfolk apologized to the witch’s daughter and everyone lived happily ever after.

See moral above for the pun...

That sounds a little far fetched

It was far fetched.

How fetching

So I hear my niece running around in our house and also a dog running around with her and was immediately confused wondering why she and a dog were just running up and down the hallway. Then I went to see what was happening and she was playing fetch with the dog. So I asked my mom, "then why was she running? Is she simply so stupid that she throws a thing and tries to fetch it herself because for a second there she forgot whether she was the dog or the person?" To which my mom replied, "it wouldn't be farfetched. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) " ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Seems a bit far-fetched.

I know, it sounds a little far fetched.

They think it's too far fetched, but he's a great retriever!

But it was too far fetched.

My mom told me this pointless story that I was sure was going to be a pun. What should this have been leading up to?

> I read about these two men who practiced log rolling tricks and traveled all over the country. One would jump right over the other one. They even had a dog trained to do tricks with them.

No points for "the aristocrats!"

This seems far fetched, but you're just a little husky. Don't stop retrievin'

I told him that’s a little far fetched.

It seems a bit far-fetched to me

Today, I went out to lunch with some fellas from my office, Dave and Mike.

We all opted for the "beer and sandwich deal": any beer < $6 and any sandwich from the lunch menu for $10. Can't beat that in Hoboken, NJ.

One of my coworkers ordered a Sam Adams something-or-other and our bouncy little waitress pranced off to fetch our beverages. When the waitress returned with our potables she placed a beer, amber in color, 1/2" or so foamy head, in front of my coworker and said:

"Sam?"

To which I immediately announced "No, that's Dave."

Laughs were had all around. I cringed at myself but I couldn't help it.

We were watching Harry Potter, and when he dive in the frozen lake to fetch the sword, I said something along "Wake up Hermione, you moron, you're going to freeze to death !".

My daughter then said "He's gonna die from Harrypottermia !"

I was so proud !

I then beat the little shit to death for doing a dad joke before me. That'll show her.

Mods : Sorry if this does not fit the sub.

It's not that far fetched.

So I usually get the mail for my family, but one day I was fetching the mail, and a lizard came out of the mailbox. Since I am TERRIFIED of lizards, I naturally freaked and refused to fetch the mail ever again.

So last week my mom was getting the mail, and when she came back in, she said, "aghr, there WAS a lizard in the mail today!" and then she shows me a Geico advertisement.

...when I was younger, and my dad asked me to "fetch me the hoe".

Neither him nor mum were impressed when I called mum over.

Sounded a little far-fetched to me