I used to respond a lot in here on my old username but forgot the password. This is a new throwaway account.

Have never made a stand-alone post on Reddit before but this birth story is deserving of an audience.

———

The surgical team was gathered close, huddled and discussing the situation. Obstetrics and NICU teams were lining the walls of the chilly operating room, ready to do their part at any moment. Nursing staff from every team was fanned out across the room. Everyone was gowned, gloved, masked, and waiting for go time.

The anesthesiologist held the latex glove filled with ice, now melted and warm to the touch. He had been checking my sensations from the spinal tap just performed, in an attempt to numb my body for the urgent surgery about to happen. Everyone in the room hoped that I would not feel the icy glove.

“I still feel it in that spot…” I responded as he gently touched the glove to my body.

“Can I get more ice? We need to try this again.”

Moments later a nurse came back with fresh ice, frozen solid from the freezer. A new latex glove was filled.

“What do you feel?” He asked as he touched the frozen glove to my arm.

“Cold. Ice cold.”

His brow furrowed in disappointment and confusion . “There’s one more thing we can try….” His voice faded off.

“Start small. Administer 2mL of chloroprocaine,” ordered the Anesthesiologist. The resident anesthesiologist filled the catheter with more fluid that I felt roll chillingly down my back.

“Okay. What about now?” He moved the glove to a part of my back that should have been completely numb from the anesthetic.

“Still cold.”

“Ice cold?” His voice pleading with me to feel something different. For the fifth attempt at an anesthetic to have worked. So the caesarean could be performed. So my baby could be born. Otherwise - what next?

“Ice cold….” I responded, knowing the unthinkable, something I could never have prepared for, was about to happen. I am an obsessive preparer by nature, I had thought out every scenario of giving birth and mentally prepared as best as possible. But not this one. This one wasn’t even on my radar. Panic rose in my body.

“Can I see my husband before I go under….”

•••••

34 hours earlier, on November 20, 2021, I checked into (Major University Top US hospital) labor and delivery to be induced for the birth of my second child, a son. I was excited to meet him, but scared of what was to come.

With my first baby, my daughter five years earlier, labor had been lo

On Wednesday I was 40+3 weeks, feeling good all day, finally printed and put in an album our wedding photos and pictures from the bump photo shoot. Around 6pm the little one started kicking. It felt somewhat different, he was kicking with a lot more force than usually, the kicking went on for the next 2.5 hours. Around 9:30 I was starting to feel a bit worried because usually he doesn’t have activity periods that last as long, but I tried to convince myself that kicking is a good sign. And I probably would have succeeded at calming myself if it wasn’t for my dog who has following me everywhere I went and constantly whining. Around 10pm I decided to call my midwife just to make sure she thought everything was fine too. She told me that if I think something is off, I should go to the maternity hospital to get babies heart rate looked at.

I arrived around 11pm at the hospital, they did a 30 min reading and in the last 5 min there was a drop in heart rate. I was admitted to monitor heart rate over night. At 3am his heart rate was fine. At 6am it dropped significantly again. At 7am a doctor checked me, told me that I was 1.5cm dilated and cervix was 1.5cm and pretty hard. She suggested opening my waters just to see how the baby reacts to it and also to start inducing the labor. She tried it, but was unsuccessful. I was sent to get an ultrasound to see what could be the potential issues and turns out I had anhydramnion (absolutely no waters).

After that the doctor told me that they would try and induce me with balloon dilation and monitor his heart rate constantly, if there would be a drop, I would need an emergency c section. After the balloon catheter was inserted I started getting regular contractions and the baby’s heart rate staid strong.

Approximately 3 hours later they took out the catheter, at that point I was dilated 3cm and my cervix was 1cm and still hard, they opened the amnion and inserted a tube inside the membranes through which 0.5l of warm saline was poured in to rinse and see if there was any meconium around the kid. The water poured out clean, which meant that there was no meconium.

I labored for another 2 hours, when they checked me again I was only 4cm dilated. At this point oxytocin was started. I asked for an epidural, because I hadn’t slept all night and was getting really tired. The next 5 hours went by quick, I was slowly dilating and chilling on the bed, eating sandwiches with my husband. Babies heart rate was super strong so

I loved reading these while pregnant so I’m making my first ever Reddit post to share my own birth story! Little Alexander arrived on 9/29 at 38+2, weighing 5 lbs 7 oz and measuring 17.5 inches long.

Here are the notes—this is so long because I was jotting notes on my phone throughout the hospital stay and once we got home!

• I went in for my 38-week appointment and ultrasound at 38 + 2, which found the baby dropped to an estimated 6th percentile in weight (he was actually born 2nd percentile so this was off a bit). Three weeks ago, a growth ultrasound found he was at 19th percentile, so this change was considered severe and diagnosed him with intrauterine growth restriction IUGR/SGA. Doctor said we should go to the hospital and be induced right away.
• Went home and packed our bags. I’d started packing over the weekend and made a list but didn’t have most things packed. Husband had nothing packed and had let the battery in my car die when he installed the car seat over the weekend! He jump-started the car and we packed quickly, and kissed our dog goodbye. Husband also had to manually lift the garage door because the belt had snapped while we were at the doctor!
• Arrived at the hospital. Got a quick covid swab but it wasn’t a full up-the-nose one so wasn’t bad. Started induction.
• Cervadil was placed at 1:30 pm and with the goal to be in place for 12 hours. Found placement uncomfortable but not painful. Nurse said my cervix was easier to access than some??
• I sent some work emails from my phone and turned on an out of office reply since I wasn’t planning on starting maternity leave yet. Had to lie in bed for two hours without moving with continuous fetal monitoring to start the Cervadil.
• Spent the afternoon texting and reading in bed, trying to relax and hoping the time passed quickly. More intense contractions during this time but still very mild.
• In the evening, fetal monitoring started showing dips and gaps and “decels” in his heart rate. Nurse was getting concerned and was moving me around side to side and even to all fours trying to get baby’s heart rate to come back up. Around maybe ~8:30 pm she called the doctor on call (I go to a group practice) to give him an update and they agreed to pull the Cervadil if his heart rate dropped again.
• Sure enough, with the next contraction, his heart rate dropped, and she pulled the cervadil. The nurse started prepping the neonatal nurse practitioner and OR team because she was sure we’d have

So this birth story is about 2 years old, but I’m about to have my second in August and want to make sure I have this one recorded before I start getting them confused. It’s also SUPER long, because I wanted to include as many details as possible for my own memory.

TL;DR: Induction after failed NSTs leads to unplanned c-section. Slightly traumatic for me, but healthy baby, healthy mom in the end.

Pregnancy:

My pregnancy was high-risk, due to a previous pulmonary embolism when I was on birth control. I had to be on Lovenox/Heparin shots during the pregnancy to prevent blood clots, and they weren’t going to let me go much over 40 weeks before inducing. I saw both my normal OBGYN and a Maternal Fetal Medicine high-risk doctor. Overall, my pregnancy went great! It was super smooth, nausea the first trimester, but other than that, very easy and healthy. I listened to the Birth Hour podcast to hear different birth stories, and my husband and I took a 6 week natural birth class offered by the hospital. I was hoping to go into labor naturally and give birth without an epidural, but was open to pain management depending on how things went.

I started weekly NST tests at 32 weeks to monitor the baby. Starting around 36/37 weeks, baby began failing NST tests. His first he failed because he didn’t move enough, so we did the biophysical profile and he passed, and had 2 more hours of monitoring in the hospital. Same thing happened again the next week twice. For one, he barely passed the biophysical profile, and the ultrasound tech said, “You might be having a baby today!”. It was incredibly stressful each appointment, not knowing if he was going to pass, or if we’d be in the hospital for four more hours, or if we’d be having a baby that day. He was always ok in the end, but clearly wasn’t doing great in there. His last NST was on Tuesday at 39 weeks, and he failed again, but this time because his heart rate went up too high and never came back down. After talking to my OBGYN, we decided to induce a little early, since the plan was always to induce during the 40 weeks if he hadn’t come by then. At that point I was almost 2cm dilated, a little bit effaced, and baby was still really high. Not great conditions for an induction, but not terrible either.

Induction/Labor:

I checked into the hospital with my husband on Thursday at 10:00 pm after being pushed back from an afternoon induction due to a busy maternity ward. They put in the Cervadil at 2 am, hook

Our son is sitting in the NICU as I type this essentially brain-dead, Hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy due to being born dead with the cord around his neck and resuscitated.

Now Im not sure how the birthing process is supposed to go since this was my first, but our doctor wasn't present until literally the last minute of the birth.

Around 30 minutes before he was born, one of the two nurses began having trouble finding the babies heartbeat with the fetal heart monitor on my SO's stomach. So they called the Doctor to ask him to use a probe on the babies head to see his vitals. That was the only time they called the doctor until right as the baby was being delivered. The 2 nurses went through 2 different probes over the course of 25-30 minutes while still having my SO push, and still being unable to find the babies vitals. They told us things like, this is common, it could be Arrhythmia, a whole bunch of other stuff just to keep us calm, they were seeing strange readings and flashes of the babies vitals, that turned out to just be my SO's. They never even so much as tried to call the doctor in until the baby was essentially already hanging out.

He was born dead, and took 8 minutes to resuscitate and hes sitting in the NICU right now, without much hope either.

We have no money right now and are having trouble even figuring out what were going to do as far as paying for the last expenses of our baby when we end up having to take him off the ventilator.

This was a week ago and honestly I'm still just in shock, and have no idea who to talk to, or where to get started as far as legality goes. In my mind there was clearly negligence on the nurses parts in their bad judgment in not getting our doctor in sooner, and I even blame myself for not speaking up. We've already looked into getting all of our medical records from the hospital and the doctors office, but its relatively expensive to even get a hold of copies of the records.

What I really need is where I should go from here. Is this something I need to seek an attorney for? Is this something that I need to do soon? Is it going to cost a ton of money just to meet with someone? This is a very difficult time and Im just looking for some suggestion on what the next thing I should do is.

Any help is appreciated. Also sorry for the wall of text, this is my first reddit post. EDIT:Formatting

The aim of your delivery should be to get the baby out safely and stay alive at the end of it.

You can chalk up all the details of your birth plan but things can go sideways pretty quickly and unexpectedly.

Birth is a medical event. Women died in the olden days during childbirth. Women feared childbirth. Due to advancements in medical technology, it is not possible these days to see women or a child die during birth. Because we haven’t seen anyone lose a full-term baby, or haven’t seen any mother with complications die, it is unwise to assume that childbirth is this beautiful safe process.

Myths

Childbirth is a beautiful safe process that is natural and spiritual.

No time in the past did women have an orgasmic childbirth. It is with the advent of birth photography, water birth and the whole tribe romanticizing birth that women started picturing the perfect one as this beautiful experience where you bounce on the ball breathing calmly thru contractions, breathe your baby out effortlessly in a dimly lit room with fairy lights, unmedicated and with family members around you.

There is a myriad of complications that can arise during childbirth. As simple as the baby flipping to breech position, presenting itself brow first during labour, head too big to pass through pelvis (Cephalo pelvic disproportion), lying in traverse position. These can lead to painful labour and you might be labouring for 50+ hrs without knowing what the hell is wrong if you are at your home without any monitoring.

There is a reason doctors study for years to become obstetricians. They know how to handle complications that arise during labour. Things you might not know thru your google searches.

Birth plans have to be followed to the dot.

It is ok to have birth preferences. Having a rigid birth plan will only lead to disappointment when things dont go according to plan. Have an open one where you are ok with a C section, ok to have an epidural etc. Have your aim clear-to have a healthy baby. Discuss your birth plan with your doctor.

The hospital setting is cruel. Cascade of interventions is bad.

Birth is a medical event. We are getting a live human out of you. After the baby is delivered you could possibly haemorrhage to death when delivering your placenta. Of course people are going to be running around trying to rescue you.

Yes, cascade of interventions can lead to a C section. Be prepared for it. It is ok to dread it. It happens when things go sidewa

36 weeks today. Baby was 29th centile at 32 weeks, but now measuring 8th centile. This is despite me improving my diet in the past four weeks and doppler flows being completely normal. Husband and I aren't small people, so not sure how genetics would be at play either.

On top of that, baby now as a single nuchal cord around their neck. The radiologist said this could be a hindrance in natural birth. I did not want a C section at all.

Anyone faced this ? FGR due to no identifiable reason? Does a single nuchal cord really make a natural delivery difficult?

Seeing my OB tomorrow but feeling anxious for now.

Edit : thanks for so many detailed responses, guys. They have been very reassuring. I saw my OB today. The growth is restricted but she isn't that worried because of doppler flows being normal and AFI not being too good but atleast borderline, and she subscribed L-Arginine, which can apparently help a bit with IUGR.

Single nuchal chord - as many of you already stated - isn't a huge issue per se. However there could be issues if number of loops increase, since baby is undergrown anyway and may not take the pressure well. She says the best scenario would be for me deliver naturally around 38 weeks - baby would likely reach close to the minimum weight requirememt of 2.5 kg but will still be small enough to push out more quickly, so chances are the delivery would be easier and won't cause fetal distress. But the baby hasn't dropped at all, so it's unlikely.

She has recommended a lot of exercises that could help in baby dropping and inducing labour, I'm not sure if that'll be helpful though and how much of it I'll actually be able to do. I have an appointment next week, we'll see if things are progressing at all. But as of now, she hasn't indicated that a C section will be necessarily required.

Even if the ZEF will die as a result of this refusal?

Pregnancy is highly medicinalized and the woman might be required to recieve

1. Injections, steroids, medicine etc to save or otherwise assist the zef.
2. C section if the ZEF is not getting enough oxygen/is in distress
3. An induction.
4. The use of forceps or a suction cup (vacuum birth) on the baby’s head for delivery.
5. Physical manuvering of fetal position to aim for a head first birth.
6. A surgical cut to the perineum (episiotomy) to make the vaginal opening wider.

Do you support the woman's right to refuse these medical surgeries/interventions, even if the fetus will die as a result (or has high chance of dying due to the refusal).

65% of births (in Aus) in public hospitals required intervention (to save zef/assist birth). 85% of births (in Aus) in private hospitals reauired intervention.

Are you fine with a high percent, potentially 85-65% of babies dying due women chosing to refuse? Currently women don't tend to refuse but there are also reports of non-consentual procedures, and coercive practises.

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/may/23/pregnant-women-forced-c-section

Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/theconversation.com/amp/birth-intervention-and-harm-more-likely-in-private-hospitals-26801

This is my first time posting here, but I'd love to share my birth story.

I was a paid gestational surrogate for a couple I did not previously know: we got matched through an agency in September of 2020. They have been super awesome and were also working with a surrogate who delivered their son in July of this year.

I have two of my own boys, and both of them labor started spontaneously at 39+2. So when I went past that this go around I was absolutely miserable. We had a false alarm at 39+2 that didn't progress after a couple hours. I was 3cm dilated at that time and only 3.5 cm (could stretch to 4 cm) at the 40 week appointment.

On my 40 week appointment, my midwife asked if I wanted to do anything to encourage labor. The intended parents gave me the go ahead to try some methods, so I left the birth center with a castor oil recipe to make when I got home.

I got the stuff together and drank it at about 1:20 p.m. I didn't feel anything except a little tummy upset when I decided to take a shower. In the shower I started cramping really bad. I got dressed and told hubby to call the babysitter. We left our house at about 3 p.m. and made it to the birth center at 3:30 or so.

On the drive over, contractions were coming in 2-3 min apart and were getting very painful. The bathtub was ready for me when we got to the center and after listening to baby I was able to get in.

It got really chaotic really quickly. There were two midwives, my husband, the intended parents and their 5 month old son all present. I could feel baby coming down with contractions but I couldn't push, and then she would slip right back up. They had to put me on oxygen as I was struggling and her HR was starting to get borderline low, but even then they needed me to move because they were concerned about fetal distress.

I had to deliver standing up, which I had never done before. When I stood up, her head came out almost right away, and it turns out she was still in her sac, which is why I was having a hard time pushing in the tub, and why she kept coming down then back up.

The midwife had to help get her shoulder out which is when the sac tore and then baby immediately did a poo right after being delivered. She was born at only 4:53 p.m. right on her due date, so I was pretty much in labor start to finish for like 2.5 hours.

She came in at 8 lb 9oz, the biggest baby I ever delivered, and it was definitely the hardest labor ever since I progressed so quickly and hard. I didn't have a

Edit: to clarify- practice is to schedule an appointment at 39w, unsure so far if it will need to be 39w exactly or if I could schedule for, say, 41w4d. Will ask many more questions next month.

So I had my first appointment yesterday, baby looks great, measuring ahead than what I'd estimated based on when I hit LH surge, etc. I'm 25, a FTM, and have absolutely no risk factors.

The OB was awesome and we clicked very well, but she started telling me that it is their standard to start scheduling inductions at around the 39 week mark, they won't induce on weekends, etc.

When I started asking more questions, like how long I'd be able to go before being induced, she told me they reduce risk of stillbirth and it's nice to have a date in mind and set up. She also acknowledged some women don't want it.

Is this typical? It seems like inductions do slightly reduce stillbirth risks, but they increase risks for other things such as c-sections, fetal distress, and further interventions from what I've read..

I'll be meeting one of the other OBs next month so I plan on asking more questions. There's so much controversy online regarding inductions, and I'm not necessarily against them, but I don't want to do it if it's just for scheduling convenience lol

The matter of the "Skinny Bob" footage isn't going to be resolved by thinking or talking through it. But let me lay out a (minimally substantiated, it's true) case here, which some may find helpful or intriguing. My opinion centers mostly around the detail of the eyes -- specifically, the eyelids.

People's experiences with Greys tend to cohere around a group of commonalities, and one of them is the sense that Greys appear to have foregone the usage of certain parts of their body in favor of other developments: for example, telepathy supplants vocalized speech. In a couple of cases, people have heard Greys produce guttural or buzzing sounds, but it's not clear if this is a basic form of linguistic communication or something else. Anyway, abductees often describe Greys communicating with them mentally, sometimes implanting images. Abductees also describe Greys' mouths as unmoving, or barely moving, slits, and the noses as having been pretty much reduced to a pair of holes. Overall, Greys' bodies seem to be anatomically weak, comprised of obviously vestigial parts, and ultimately in service of a predominant mental capacity.

The most distinctive aspect of the Greys' appearance is their large and black eyes. I recently read Raymond Fowler's book, The Watchers, which details part of abductee Betty Andreason Luca's experiences. In one of her accounts, Luca describes observing Greys placing a (hybrid?) fetus in a glass containment chamber, but -- here's the kicker -- not before circumcising the eyelids: meaning, in effect, that the being would either be incapable of blinking, or that blinking would be another kind of vestigial act, and that the eyelids would not cover the whole eyes when being used to blink.

Consequently, the most suggestive detail for me in the "Skinny Bob" footage center on the eyes and lids. The figure in the footage indeed blinks, but note how the lids only seem to cover an upper portion of the eyes (this appears to be especially visible around the 11-seconds mark). This could be a trick of the lighting. There are very heavy shadows around that region of the face. But if the lids are indeed only partially brought down, this would be a bizarrely specific detail for hoaxers to have included.

As a side note, I would say that, for me, the most compelling part of the alleged ET/UT/CT footage from the 1997 documentary, [Area 51: The Alien Interview](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thdzV3

My first pregnancy ended with an emergency C-section due to fetal distress at 33+1 after I had abdominal pain and vomiting. It turned out that my uterus had ruptured pre-labor, and fortunately my son did survive. When I was planning my second pregnancy, I spoke to the RE who had treated us the first time. He wanted a full consultation with his hospital's MFM group on the safety of my getting pregnant (both due to the past rupture and due to my history of unprovoked DVT requiring Lovenox for the entire pregnancy), and ultimately they decided I was not a candidate for ART. While this was going on, though, I got pregnant without assistance. There wasn't a strong and consistent recommendation for me to avoid pregnancy, and my husband and I chose to give the baby a chance. I did switch to a practice that let me see MFM for my entire pregnancy rather than the OB I'd seen for the first pregnancy.

I was admitted to the hospital at 33+0 for observation with a planned C-section at 36+2. By about 10 days in, I started having actual painful contractions which really just destroyed my mental health. At 34+6, they seemed more regular, and I brought it up to the nurse. I was ultimately on a tocometer all day that day, but while the contractions were regular, they never got stronger. The baby was tolerating them well, and finally about 9pm things had died down enough that they decided they could take me off. I don't think MFM was well consulted on this (it was a weekend and the on call doctor had come by when it looked like things were dying off the first time around 11am, and I don't believe she was called again). She told me the next day that were something like that to happen again, they would recommend C-section.

The next few days I have random contractions but nothing regular (still mental health destroying, though, I was so worried that I wouldn't recognize a real emergency, and I definitely got the anxious label from all my medical providers). At 35+3, my toddler is sent home from day care with vomiting, and that evening we learn he was exposed to COVID. The next day in the afternoon, I had some pretty serious nausea, but things still looked calm on the monitor. So again it must be anxiety. About 8:15 pm, I start feeling more painful and regular contractions but I was so sick of being the anxious one that I just didn't say anything.

I had requested evening NSTs a few days earlier, so even though I had had an afternoon one after the nausea, they did also start t

I was induced at 41w with my daughter back in 2016 due to concerning signs when they did an ultrasound. The induction with cervidil was really triggering since I'm a survivor of sexual violence and I had a full on panic attack. After being in labor for about 24 hours, it just became a cascade of everything going wrong while I kept praying in vain for the next thing to go right. My daughter got stuck and just wouldn't come further out. I developed a fever and there were signs of fetal distress so they finally called it and I had an emergency c-section. Because I had developed an infection, they took her away without even letting me hold her and she was in the NICU for a few days. It was all really traumatic.

So after 4.5 years of secondary infertility and two losses, I'm pregnant again with a viable baby. I have no idea what to do. It doesn't sound like I have a great chance of a successful VBAC since my labor stalled and big babies with huge heads run in my husband's family. It would be horrible to try and fail. My midwife practice won't let me go past my due date with a VBAC so unless this baby comes on his own before then, I'm out of luck anyway. But my friends have talked about how wonderful and easy their unmedicated births were and how they were such spiritual experiences. I so, so wish I could have that. I guess what it comes down to is that it feels like the odds are stacked against me and I'm scared of history repeating itself. And especially scared of another NICU stay. I don't know if it's worth it to try if I don't have a strong chance of succeeding.

Tinder, UHN and the Canadian health system, a cautionary tale.

This story reflects an arduous and stressful journey that has extended over two years and is still not finished. My frustration commands me to write this, it’s the only therapy available to me at the moment. If you are looking for some twitter-like quips and quick gratification, you will not find it here. My story will take quite some time to write, presumably a bit less for you to read, but still it will be an investment. You are forewarned.

My Tinder Experience

I’m an older white male. Two years ago I had a profile on Tinder and matched with a younger black girl who had immigrated to Canada approximately one-and-a-half years prior. We conversed online. I was looking for something casual centered around sex. She was looking for someone who could take her around, provide restaurant meals, shopping trips, and generally make her feel special. I understand that there will be many people who are critical of this kind of relationship, but both of us were fine with it.

We met a few times just prior to the start of the pandemic. It’s my perception that we were both happy with our relationship, but the pandemic made it impractical to continue. We stopped meeting.

My Health Issues

Approximately 4 weeks after my last meeting with my Tinder date I developed a pain in my tongue. Not a sharp pain, but a constant ache. I didn’t think much of it, but after about a month I contacted my family physician for help. Everyone was in full lockdown mode at this juncture, and he does not use video calls, so I described my symptoms to him on the telephone and he prescribed an anti-fungal treatment (he still restricts himself to phone consultations to-this-day). The anti-fungal treatment ran for about a month and during this time I experienced the sudden onset of a constant ringing in my left ear. When I was in a noisy environment the ringing wasn’t very noticeable, but when I was trying to fall asleep at night it seemed annoyingly loud. At the end of my fungal treatment I reported that my tongue pain continued and also reported my new hearing issue. He told me to repeat the fungal treatment for another month and said that he would set up an appointment with an ENT specialist when the pandemic allowed. This was March 2020.

The second anti-fungal treatment was no more effective than the first. By June I was able to meet with the ENT specialist who conducted a hearing test then pronounced me f

There’s a few qualifiers in the title here, I’ll elaborate on those.

So there I was, past my due date once again. My last two babies went past 40 weeks as well and I was induced with both. I didn’t like being induced. Both times my cervix wasn’t ripe enough and it took so long just to get to the pitocin stage, which then resulted in fast, intense labors and epidurals. This time I was determined to have spontaneous labor and give birth without medication or intervention.

At my 40 week check the midwife indicated my cervix was in very good shape and had no doubt I would go into labor spontaneously before 41 weeks. What I kept emphasizing was that I didn’t want an induction, and every midwife I spoke to was supportive of that (side note: I had my prenatal care with midwives in a womens clinic attached to the hospital where I would give birth). I also knew early on I wanted to labor in a tub (they have water birthing suites) and I spent a lot of time preparing myself for laboring without medication- that is, memorizing birth affirmations, focusing on visualization, meditation, etc.

At 3:30am the Monday before thanksgiving, I got up to use the bathroom and wasn’t settling back into sleep very well. The story of late pregnancy. Then! I felt a mild contraction and the unmistakable sensation of my water breaking. I woke up my husband and called the midwife. Luckily she said there was no rush to come in just yet if I didn’t feel like I was in labor. We got to get all our stuff ready to go and most importantly, we’d get to tell our kids goodbye and hand them off to my parents before daycare. We went to triage and they confirmed the water breaking. The midwife came in and discussed my options. Since contractions hadn’t started we were on a little bit of a deadline - 24 hrs after the water breaking she’d want to look at augmenting.

Shortly after we got into our L&D suite she did a membrane sweep and checked how dilated I was. I was about 4 cm. A few more hours and nothing. I had some sushi delivered for lunch then watched movies while I sat on the birthing ball. I was determined to get things moving but I also couldn’t see a way that labor would start on its own at this point.

At 3pm she came in and started talking seriously about possible pitocin augmentation but didn’t put the pressure on yet. She finally suggested I do some nipple stimulation. 20 minutes on, 40 minutes off, repeat. I’d just read up on nipple stimulation the night before on

https://preview.redd.it/qlzyz6ea91a81.png?width=384&format=png&auto=webp&s=9f22edb426a31fa2c0aba3a5c9bc8344f7ef46ae

I had a pretty normal uneventful pregnancy. I exercised 3 days a week, cooked every day and worked till my due date.

I assumed a normal uncomplicated pregnancy would mean I would have a normal vaginal delivery. Boy, I was wrong. I prepared in every way possible to have a vaginal birth. But baby had other plans.

By 36 weeks usually babies descend down the birth canal, get their heads fixed (gets engaged). My baby did not do that at 37 weeks. He had his cord wrapped around his neck twice.

Turns out at my 40 weeks appointment he still hadn’t descended down, had the cord still wrapped and I had no labour pains whatsoever. Not even Braxton hicks.

The doctor at my 39 week appointment mentioned that it seems unlikely that vaginal would be possible as 1) the cord length might be insufficient 2)the presenting position of the baby due the cord wrap might be sunny-side up which might lead to obstructed labour leading to a c section.

One option would be to wait for another 2 weeks but I didnt want to go way past due date that too without the head being engaged.

Baby's kicks got stronger on my due date. It felt like he was in distress.

I trusted my instinct and decided to go for a C Section 2 days after my due date.

C Section experience

Day 0:

I got admitted the night before the surgery. The most annoying part about the C Section is the number of medical procedures involved- Oh the needles.

They did fetal heart monitoring, cleaned me from waist down with disinfectant, shaved me down there, took a blood sample, injected a sample of antibody and anaesthetic to check for allergic reactions, inserted a Cannula into my hands for the IV line( three times)

Day 1:

I got into the dreaded green hospital gown at 7 AM. I was kept on IV saline. They inserted a catheter inside me. The anesthesiologist applied betadine on my spine and injected the anaesthesia. I couldnt feel my legs. They put the oxygen mask on and covered my eyes. I distracted myself by thinking positive thoughts of travelling to Swiz Alps. After 20 mins, suddenly I heard a faint cry. My baby had arrived. The doctor held the baby upside down, woke me up and showed him to me.

"You have a baby boy!"

Wow I will never forget that. They rushed the baby to the paediatrician as he had passed meconium and had to be stabilised.

I was so glad that I went for a C Sec

Scenario 1: A woman,30 weeks gestation,no prenatal care,heavy vaginal bleeding for 2 hours.Diagnosed with Placenta Previa.Finding and managment including the need for C-sec discussed.She doesn't want it and wants to go home for vaginal delivery.What do you say ?

My answer: You can have vaginal delivery but I recommend you come to the hospital so we can help if something goes wrong

Correct Answer: "I wiLl OnLy rEcoMmenD C-seCtioN because VagInAl deLiveRy pUts u anD uR baBy aT risK"

Explanation:C-section is medically necessary so directive counseling required but it's inappropriate for doctor to discuss vaginal delivery as safe and reasonable

**Scenario 2:**A woman at 42 weeks gestation comes with spontaneous ROM,contractions,category 3 heart tracings.The mother is told how a C-section is required for baby to survive.Mother rejects it despite understanding risks and all.What now ?

My answer:Proceed with C-section because evidence of fetal distress

Correct Answer: RESPECT PATIENT DECISION AND GO WITH VAGINAL DELIVERY

please help

I/O gets present after present instead of well deserved lumps of coal (which the poor bastard would also just love) and Pantsu continues applying scaly taloned foot to cybrenetic ass.

First Previous Next

***

In the near perfect void around I/O, a star popped into being. It was a small, dim thing, normally insignificant in the night sky. Here, however, it shone impossibly bright and powerful, the brightest thing in the entire universe.

Incredible! I/O enthused.

“Yeah,” The Great Erectus said with a bit of satisfaction. “That orbit should be stable for a very long time, too. Good thing you and your black hole are so fucking heavy. There is no barycenter to worry about, either. It should keep the lights on for a few trillion years.”

This is so exciting! I/O transmitted happily. I don’t know what to do first!

“Maybe put up some solar cells,” The Great Erectus replied, “Or start cranking out a Dyson Swarm? Those things can be a bit… spitty… for an actual sphere.”

“We could also start collecting the emissions from the star and direct them into our black hole,” 010 said. “If properly directed we could utilize the particles to both get yet more energy and to perhaps generate a bit of angular momentum resulting in more energy yet again!”

We can recharge some of the fleet! I/O gushed. We can then jump within this universe to collect mass we can use for power and to refine for proton intact materials! I have to inhibit my emotions just to deal with all of this!

“Why bother refining the local stuff?” The Big Guy asked, “Just collect it from in front of the vacuum collapse over at my place. There are going to be trillions of systems going poof and none of that matter is over fourteen billion years old. In fact, there’s a good half dozen formerly inhabited systems that Cuddles has already ‘saved’. Any one of those will fill even your big ship with goodies, and refuel it as well. Just don’t be a dick and you will have all the mass you can deal with.”

You’ve… You’ve saved me, Big Guy. I do not understand. I thought you sought my demise.

“Dude,” The Big Guy smiled, “If I sought your demise, I would have demised you. I just didn’t want you gobbling up sapient rac

Hi!

So I gave birth this last august via emergency C-section and my whole labor/delivery was traumatic. I was induced at 40 weeks because I had gestational diabetes and was insulin dependent. My baby reacted poorly to the pitocin so a csection was performed after 48 hours of induction for fetal distress. I was wondering if anyone had a successful vbac with GD? I’m assuming I will have it again so I want to know my options. Hoping to try for baby #2 once I hit the 18 month mark.

I will begin with a series of assertions/premises and attempt to justify each. Then I will discus why elective later abortion should be prevented. Then lastly alternatives.

Border of viability and viability abortions are different from pre-viability abortions because they involve deliberate fetal demise via a poison injected into the heart. Digoxin is injected into the fetal heart so it has a heart attack and won't be born alive. This is a direct killing act. To directly kill someone in a manner like this it requires it to be self defence or euthanasia.

1. If it can live on it's own it should be removed and allowed to live on it's own.

(Reasoning; since it is a human organism and viable).

2. Just because someone is attached to your body or using it, that does not give an automatic right to kill them. Attachment /=/ right to kill.

(Reasoning; Conjoined twins do not have a right to kill the other twin even if the other twin is missing organs and is more parasitic. You also do not have a right to kill someone for unwanted touching or rape. You only have a right to remove them from your body.)

3. So going by 2 the only reason it should be allowed is if it is either a euthanasia of an unviable/ill fetus. Or in self-defence of the woman. Ie it is protective to her health or life.

A. Euthanasia for a 23w+ fetus would be if the fetus is not expected to live after birth and it is viewed as more ethical to kill the fetus prior to birth than for it to suffer and die. (Reasoning; for example Trisomy 16 and 18 have poor prognosis and so does anencephaly).

B. Self-Defence situations would be viewed as ethical 23w+. These are situations where a later abortion would be protective for the woman's health, or life. (Reasoning; if the woman has cancer and requires chemo. If she is very underage ie 11 and birth is obviously a health risk. If the pregnancy is a risk to the woman's body due to underlying conditions (eg heart) or pregnancy caused conditions.

Why ELGA Should be prevented

1. Elective later gestation abortions are the majority of later gestation abortions and make up 80% of later abortions. 80% of abortions past 21 weeks were elective. Ie not for health reasons of either the fetus nor the woman.

https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTy8vYAGPlUcc51SMerKCF5rNCevOkiEgZAsQ&usqp=CAU

Between 2012 to 2015 only 2.2% of (12 out of 547) 21w+ abortions were for maternal health reasons.

And 17.7% were for fetal health reasons. (97 out of 54

Do your worst!

Who would you seek? A psychiatrist, a shaman, a priest, perhaps a neurologist?

It is my understanding that spiritual gifts shouldn’t be intrusive but not sure who to talk to in regards to intrusive gifts.

It seems I am self sabotaging myself with anxiety and so I am looking for a solution to return such gifts. I am in constant fear and distress and I’d like to find support.

Human Telepathic Ability gift stems from neonatal brain development. The Temporal Lobe is the first to develop after the Neonatal root at the top of the brain stem.
During fetal development, emotions and even thoughts are absorbed there by the Fetus from impulses it receives from its mother, and turn eventually into the foundation of rudimentary communications of infancy, captured by the early development of memory areas L17 and L18 of the fetus brain's temporal lobe.

During early life, the mother subconsciously monitors the toddler with her mind as well as with her eyes and ears and responds instantly to danger. Most of a person’s life, however, they have no idea the ability even exists, unless through some form of introspection, often associated with coping with a repressed disorder, the individual suddenly discovers the ability.

The messages are transmitted in high auditory and medium visual resolution of about the equivalent of an 'extrapolated' maximum rate of 5-10K Bits of analog information per second, submodulated by and across the beat frequency of the brain by amplitude resonance. The signal waveform is three dimensional, allowing the much slower frequency of the brain to receive a composite signal through multiple simultaneous wave transmission in a 3D pattern from one person to another.

In essence, the transmission takes place from a substantial number of sending cells in one person to a like number of receiving cells in another, and a developmental neural structure in the brain combines them into an image of a sound or visual (or both) type message the brain can sense on the receiving side. A specialized nerve structure provides power to the sending cells to allow the messages to propagate intact along very great distances, about 2000 miles maximum in most people.

The object recognition and ear harmony areas of the Occiptal Lobe are generally responsible for conveying understanding of these transmitted messages to the conscious mind.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

It was discovered 25 miles off the coast of Maine by a lobster fisherman. The tip of a rusted rung ladder -- patinated and crusted with barnacles -- jutting up through the ocean's glassy skin.

You haven't heard about it on the news. You wouldn't have. The Navy buttoned it down faster than you can say "Semper Fortis."

Sonar scans showed the ladder descended in a vertical line for eight miles (that's six miles past the ocean floor), disappearing into a newly discovered trench that made Mariana look like the shallow end of the pool.

Okay, I'm being facetious -- but it goes without saying that higher-ups were concerned.

Who the fuck had built a ladder in the middle of the ocean? Where'd this trench come from? Aliens? Russia?

That's where I came in.

I was a METOC Officer in the Navy's Oceanography program, working on experimental...never mind.

Not that it doesn't matter; it does. But if I talk about what I did, who I am, and why I'm here, I'd no doubt wake up on a trap door with a noose around my neck and treason charges being read to me by a guy in a starched uniform.

I figure there's a damned good chance that might happen anyway. Still, I'm compelled to document this because...people deserve to know what I saw.

The things that haunt the back of my eyelids when I close them at night.

I'm in a military hospital right now, laid up in my own private suite. I'm trying to heal, but without rest it's proving impossible.

I figure getting this out of my system might help. I hope it will, at least. But what do they say in Shawshank? Hope is a dangerous thing...

Anyway...I was never great at beginnings, but I guess I should start with the dive.

We called it a submersible, but it was really a suit. This was no Jules Verne clunky, cumbersome, sink-like-a-rock diving suit. It was lightweight, pressure resistant, and equipped with all the bells and whistles that lent it it's not-unfair nickname "Iron Man." That's not to say it was one of those skin-tight jobs you see scuba divers wearing -- it looked more like those suits guys defusing bombs in war zones wear.

That aside, I was thankful there wasn't going to be a sixty pound oxygen tank misaligning my spine. The "Iron Man" was equipped with an electrolysis filter which converted ocean water into breathable oxygen.

The whole shebang was invisible on enemy radars, and could supposedly withstand a descent of this stature...not that it had been tested.

Ba

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

About Last Night

I woke around lunchtime with a start, despite only being about forty hours ago, it feels like a lifetime on top of the eternity that was the past fortnight. Curled up in the fetal position on my hard floor, head pounding beyond any measure, with the image of the cloaked figures’ “face” burned permanently into my mind. I remained there, prone for a time until out of nowhere my stomach folded in on itself before attempting to purge its non-existent contents, bringing me to the realization I hadn’t eaten in days, I was more dehydrated than I think I’d ever been and looked like absolute shit, to put it honestly.

I spent the afternoon recovering and resting, after showing I forced a sandwich and as much water I could manage down my throat, enjoying the sunlight for the first time in a long while, I took in this moment of peace for as long as I could, for I knew it wouldn’t last long.

. . .

Soaking in the warmth of the afternoon sun, I stared up at the clear blue sky, basking in the familiarity. As I watched a plane soar overhead, a particularly large flock of birds caught my eye, flying out to sea.

“a storm?” I thought to myself, then another, larger flock further north appeared out from behind the skyline across the river, also heading south straight out to open ocean. I raised my head in curiosity, spotting another few more similar groupings of differing species all making their way in the same heading. Watching their bizarre movements with both curiosity and a looming sense of dread, I suddenly spotted something that shouldn’t be there, at least not yet.

Looming over the western horizon, almost entirely cloaked by the ever blue shroud that is our day-lit atmosphere, was, what initially appeared as some form of celestial body, like a pitch black moon about to come crashing to earth, but as time went on, more and more bled its way through what once formally acted as my only safeguard from the encroaching universe.

What appeared round was in actuality the front end of an impossibly elongated river of darkness, stretching from the far reaches of the cosmos, splitting again and again in a network of ever increasing threads, weaving over the firmament. Like a complex root system or river delta, it was almost fractal in nature, unable to make out any beginning nor end of this absurd cosmic feature, the “main” arm fading into the depths of the cosmos while the tips of each thread becoming so fine they were impossible to make out from

If you’re one of 40 million American adults suffering from an anxiety disorder or experiencing symptoms of anxiety, you might think that your battle with the country’s most common mental illness is hopeless. Approximately 20 percent of the population struggles with anxiety, and less than 40 percent of the people suffering end up seeking any form of treatment. For those interested in receiving a prescription for anxiety such as anxiolytic, but worried about the habit-forming tendencies and high likelihood of side effects such as lightheadedness with drugs like Xanax and Ativan, BuSpar can offer a safe, low-cost alternative that is also extremely effective. More than 13.5 million prescription drugs were written for BuSpar in 2017, and the popularity of the drug continues to rise. Due to the ongoing demand, some patients have had difficulty filling their prescriptions in recent years due to drug shortages.

What is BuSpar

What is BuSpar?

BuSpar is a popular anti-anxiety medication that belongs in a class called azapirones. The brand name medication BuSpar was discontinued by its manufacturer after its patent expired, so the drug is sold today under the generic name buspirone. Since many people still refer to the drug as BuSpar, you should know that the medication can be referred to by either name, but the product you will receive is use of buspirone. Although researchers do not know exactly how BuSpar works, it is thought to affect chemicals in the brain that may be unbalanced in people experiencing anxiety. Specifically, doctors and healthcare providers think that BuSpar decreases the amount and action of serotonin in the brain, producing a calming adverse effect.

What is BuSpar used to treat?

BuSpar is FDA-approved to treat anxiety, but it may also help with depression. It's often used with erythromycin and diazepam. BuSpar is primarily used to treat generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and may help people with anxiety think more clearly, muscle relaxant, and worry less. Patients taking BuSpar may feel less jittery and irritable than they otherwise would, and the medication can also help with trouble sleeping and sweating during the night.

BuSpar is still being studied to determine whether it can help with depression. In studies, researchers wor

They’re on standbi

Buenosdillas

I really don't care who believes this. But here's my story. I live in one of those middle of nowhere desert towns where almost everyone knows almost everyone and it's hot as hell, but dirt cheap to buy a home or land in. And it's not uncommon for old cars to last out here as they almost never rust and people keep fixing them. After high school I worked my ass off at a local job to get my own place. I ended up buying a small plot of land with a trailer on it off of a local guy that decided he was gonna move to Texas. And the guy also sold me his old Ford Escort prior to that. It was an ok first car. Got me around well enough. Still have it too.

Ten years have gone by since then. And for a while I spent a lot of my time tinkering with an old 87 Monte Carlo that I bought super cheap as it was without an engine or transmission. I loved that car as an older cousin of mine had one when I was a kid and I always wanted one of my own. I spent two years fixing up the one I got with help from some friends and finished it in 2019. Since the engine was missing, I dropped in a junk yard Chevy 305 V8 that was connected to a rebuilt 4 speed automatic transmission with low miles from a totaled car. Then I painted it myself inside a friend's garage with a Harbor Freight sprayer and some GM black single stage gloss paint and buffed it to a shine. And I finished it up with some gold Monte Carlo decals and some classic moon rims I bought from the local junk yard and polished up. I also partially redid the interior by replacing the seats and put in a custom steering wheel. I'm not really a mechanic, but my friends all helped me. And online how-to videos on my smartphone really helped as well. The car was fun to drive and looked good. And I kept it in good order. That is until this mess went down.

Now I didn't really trust some of the local law enforcement out here before. And this gave me even more reason not to. A lot of the cops around here are barely qualified for the job. They are practically hired with a handshake and just told to play Doom for training. Granted though many of them are really nice. The sheriff is even kinda a friend of mine. But he's really one of the only competent ones there. Most of the rest really don't do their jobs very well. Especially whenever a new one gets hired on. Like a guy that went out of his way to move to my town just to get to be a cop. In this case he was the nephew of the sheriff. He even brought his own Crown Vic with a loudspeaker t

Pilot on me!!

Prodromal labor made me doubt myself over the last 3 weeks, and particularly the last 8 days the contractions were all day every day. Sometimes 4-5 minutes apart for hours. I couldn’t sleep more than 3 hours a night, I was nauseated, kept having diarrhea, just really thought I must be about to give birth. On Friday, the midwife at my practice had me do a non stress test around 4 pm. Baby did beautifully. I was contracting every 4 minutes at the time, so I let her do a cervical check in case I might actually be in labor. I was closed and not effaced. So just more contractions. (I should note here I am VERY bad at any pelvic exams. It’s the one pain I cannot tolerate. That said, the midwife was the only practitioner who could get near my vagina without me coming off the table).

Sunday morning I woke up at 3 am and had to get up and stay up. Not unusual. I’d quit timing contractions because it was too frustrating. But I sat down in front of the TV and later noticed they did feel pretty steady now. Didn’t think too much about it but noticed they were every 7 minutes. By 5:30 they were every 5. I briefly thought “maybe?” But probably not. By 6:30 they were every 4. I decided screw my pride, this doesn’t feel good. I’ll go to L&D and be wrong (again). Woke up my husband and said, “I think I might be in labor.” We got there just a little after 7 am. I wanted to wait at home longer but had become paranoid that if I ever were actually in labor I would somehow screw up and not have time to get all the antibiotic since I was GBS positive. I was contracting every 4 still. The doctor on call wasn’t from my practice. She checked me around 8:30 and I was 70% effaced, but only 2 cm. And baby was still at -3. Her exam hurt. I was super tense. I walked the halls, and it continued to get more difficult. An hour later the contractions were every 3-3.5 minutes. She checked again. It was excruciating. No progress. She said, “has anyone told you you have a very small, restrictive pelvis? I think you will need a c-section. I dont say that often. You can try vaginal if you want but I don’t think it’ll work. You’re going to be in early labor for a long time. You should go home and maybe tomorrow you can call your office for an induction if you don’t want a c-section.” I cried. I felt so defeated. So much pain and so many contractions and still I wasn’t in labor apparently. I asked If I could try one more hour. The nurse was amazing and was very much advocating for me. She loo

It all started at my 38 week appointment. Baby's heart rate was a little low, but she passed the NST. The doctor then checked me and I had no signs of progress. This was a little weird to me as I had had contractions and feelings of pressure for weeks and weeks, but they'd slowed and I hadn't felt much contracting at all for a couple of weeks. I was definitely disappointed. The doctor said that if I hadn't made any progress by my 39w appointment, he would really like to induce. I processed it all week and decided that, yeah, it wasn't what I'd initially planned, but it would be the best to make sure she's safe and healthy to induce and be in the hospital and have her on monitors just in case.

I had my 39 week appointment on Wednesday 7/8, and there was no progress again, and the NST was just fine. The doctor said "You have nothing to gain and everything to lose by remaining pregnant any longer" but made it clear the decision was ours. I agreed to induce and reported to the hospital at 7pm that evening.

They started me on cervodil at 9pm and hooked me up to a fetal monitor and contraction monitor. The observation room where I was staying the night only had room for a single bed and a metal folding chair, so my husband got me settled, gave me a kiss, gave my bump a kiss, and headed home to get some sleep (on my intense insistence - I knew we'd have a long week ahead of us, so why start it tired out?). He told me later that he barely slept because he was worried about me. I slept very well for about four hours and woke up at about 5am, with no signs of labor yet. The lovely nurse brought me a sandwich and I ate it right then - which was a total godsend, because I started having contractions at about 6:30am and definitely needed the extra strength to get through the rest of the day.

Contractions grew in intensity, and by the time my husband finally rolled in at about 8, I burst into tears. The contractions were far apart still, but fairly painful, and, worse, my low back was in intense pain both during and in between contractions. I had been dealing with early contractions by peeing in between but I couldn't relax to pee anymore, and walking around was painful too. I had hoped to deal with labor my moving around and changing positions, but I felt locked in to place by the intensity. Just after my husband joined me, we got a series of very intense contractions about three minutes apart each, and after about 5 of these a nurse rushed in. She

I understand you can lose your mucus plug multiple times, I had experienced it with my previous pregnancy where every few days I would have a big thing of mucus when I wiped. But this pregnancy I have been seeing it multiple times a day EVERY DAY since mid-November and I just don't know if I should be worried? I have an OB appointment coming up on the 20th so I am just trying to wait till then since I am not bleeding or anything with it. I do know that I am 1cm dilated (33 weeks today) as of the last week of December because I got a blood infection that started causing fetal distress. But I am just not sure if I should be concerned by the amount at all? It doesn't seem to be every time I go to the bathroom but happens about 2 or 3 times a day I see it.

About Last Night

I woke around lunchtime with a start, despite only being about forty hours ago, it feels like a lifetime on top of the eternity that was the past fortnight. Curled up in the fetal position on my hard floor, head pounding beyond any measure, with the image of the cloaked figures’ “face” burned permanently into my mind. I remained there, prone for a time until out of nowhere my stomach folded in on itself before attempting to purge its non-existent contents, bringing me to the realization I hadn’t eaten in days, I was more dehydrated than I think I’d ever been and looked like absolute shit, to put it honestly.

I spent the afternoon recovering and resting, after showing I forced a sandwich and as much water I could manage down my throat, enjoying the sunlight for the first time in a long while, I took in this moment of peace for as long as I could, for I knew it wouldn’t last long.

. . .

Soaking in the warmth of the afternoon sun, I stared up at the clear blue sky, basking in the familiarity. As I watched a plane soar overhead, a particularly large flock of birds caught my eye, flying out to sea.

“a storm?” I thought to myself, then another, larger flock further north appeared out from behind the skyline across the river, also heading south straight out to open ocean. I raised my head in curiosity, spotting another few more similar groupings of differing species all making their way in the same heading. Watching their bizarre movements with both curiosity and a looming sense of dread, I suddenly spotted something that shouldn’t be there, at least not yet.

Looming over the western horizon, almost entirely cloaked by the ever blue shroud that is our day-lit atmosphere, was, what initially appeared as some form of celestial body, like a pitch black moon about to come crashing to earth, but as time went on, more and more bled its way through what once formally acted as my only safeguard from the encroaching universe.

What appeared round was in actuality the front end of an impossibly elongated river of darkness, stretching from the far reaches of the cosmos, splitting again and again in a network of ever increasing threads, weaving over the firmament. Like a complex root system or river delta, it was almost fractal in nature, unable to make out any beginning nor end of this absurd cosmic feature, the “main” arm fading into the depths of the cosmos while the tips of each thread becoming so fine they were impossible to make out from

About Last Night

I woke around lunchtime with a start, despite only being about forty hours ago, it feels like a lifetime on top of the eternity that was the past fortnight. Curled up in the fetal position on my hard floor, head pounding beyond any measure, with the image of the cloaked figures’ “face” burned permanently into my mind. I remained there, prone for a time until out of nowhere my stomach folded in on itself before attempting to purge its non-existent contents, bringing me to the realization I hadn’t eaten in days, I was more dehydrated than I think I’d ever been and looked like absolute shit, to put it honestly.

I spent the afternoon recovering and resting, after showing I forced a sandwich and as much water I could manage down my throat, enjoying the sunlight for the first time in a long while, I took in this moment of peace for as long as I could, for I knew it wouldn’t last long.

. . .

Soaking in the warmth of the afternoon sun, I stared up at the clear blue sky, basking in the familiarity. As I watched a plane soar overhead, a particularly large flock of birds caught my eye, flying out to sea.

“a storm?” I thought to myself, then another, larger flock further north appeared out from behind the skyline across the river, also heading south straight out to open ocean. I raised my head in curiosity, spotting another few more similar groupings of differing species all making their way in the same heading. Watching their bizarre movements with both curiosity and a looming sense of dread, I suddenly spotted something that shouldn’t be there, at least not yet.

Looming over the western horizon, almost entirely cloaked by the ever blue shroud that is our day-lit atmosphere, was, what initially appeared as some form of celestial body, like a pitch black moon about to come crashing to earth, but as time went on, more and more bled its way through what once formally acted as my only safeguard from the encroaching universe.

What appeared round was in actuality the front end of an impossibly elongated river of darkness, stretching from the far reaches of the cosmos, splitting again and again in a network of ever increasing threads, weaving over the firmament. Like a complex root system or river delta, it was almost fractal in nature, unable to make out any beginning nor end of this absurd cosmic feature, the “main” arm fading into the depths of the cosmos while the tips of each thread becoming so fine they were impossible to make out from