My wife tried to order an exotic snake online, but when the package arrived, it contained only feathered scarves...

Looks like the boa cons tricked her...

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Me and some other guys like to get together at the local supermarket to show off our rare breed black-feathered chickens. New guy today mustn't have understood because...

There was an unexpected white hen in the bragging area

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mittenshape
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I was at a hotel and asked the front desk to switch my pillow out with one filled with feathers...

...It was a down grade.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RivetJoint08
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call 2 birds stuck together?

Velcrows.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What kind of clothes are made with Australian goose feathers?

Down Under wear

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have feathers??

To cover up their butt qwack

πŸ‘︎ 127
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBrothaScott
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover it's butt quack.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SunnySideUp145
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A ton of feathers. You have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruebensrun1724
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
After an argument, my cooking instructor wants me to stew goose feathers gently below or just at the boiling point...

She wants me to simmer down!

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Saw this on a veterinarian billboard: Ducks have feathers...

...to hide their buttquacks!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DitMasterGoGo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad used to annoy me with bird puns.

But now I realize toucan play that game.

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tacoenthusiast
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a chicken without feathers?

Bald. (Told by my 7 year old Son)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I tested positive for my corvid-19 test

It really ruffled my feathers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/arithmetic
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get down off an elephant?

You don’t. You get down off a duck.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Elo_Solo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently crows have 16 pinion feathers and ravens have 17.

So I guess the difference is a matter of a pinion.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
🚨︎ report
A pound of bricks weighs more than a pound of feathers

In America you can buy a square foot of bricks for around $8.50. There are 7 bricks in a square foot, meaning you are buying each brick for about a $1.21. Today one dollar is 0.75 pounds, so $1.21 is about 0.92 pounds, meaning for a full pound you can buy 1.087 bricks for about a pound. Each brick weighs 5 pounds, which means 1.087 bricks weighs 5.435 pounds. Now on the other hand you many buy 48 feathers for one dollar in America , considering that one dollar is 0.75 ponds, you could buy 64 feathers. with one pound. Each feather weighs around 0.0003 ounces, which multiplied by 64 is 0.0192 ounces , which is 0.0012 pounds. 5.435> 0.0012. There you have it a pound of bricks weighs more than a pound if feathers .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Depressed_Citrus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a gallon of water or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaachh_Ded
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend likes being talked down to...

Feather pillows are his passion.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
A duck walks into a bar

and orders a drink, then a little while after he finished that drink he ordered another and he accidentally drops the glass containing the drink and he says to the waitress put it on my bill, so the waitress begins to grab the glass shards that were on the ground and carefully placed them on the ducks bill and the duck asks what are you doing and the waitress says I’m putting it on your bill and the duck sarcastically says ohhhh you really quack me up and the waitress says oh I'm sorry did I ruffle your feathers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr-awsome-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2021
🚨︎ report
What do two feathers talk about during the night?

It's mostly pillow talk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwiddaHabitat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Scientifically a raven has 17 primary wing feathers.

The big ones at the end of the wing. These feathers are called pinion feathers. A crow has sixteen.

So, the difference between a crow and a raven is only a matter of a pinion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/createsean
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quack

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lvrcerosis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side does a chicken have the most feathers on?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cinnafury03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
🚨︎ report
which side of a bird has the most feathers?

the outside

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What side of the chicken has the most feathers?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CALAZ1986
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers?

The feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/superdolmiosauce
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks!

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sugarmonkeywife
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover it’s butt-quack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their quacks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeaderRing
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Njvdwesth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/big-boodyjudy69
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have tail feathers?

To cover up their butt quack

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Feddny
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside...

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Njvdwesth
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
On which side do chickens have the most feathers...

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 485
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their buttquack.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GoldSweep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/barelysentient-
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have feathers?

To cover its butt quack

πŸ‘︎ 81
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ducks have feathers?

To cover their butt quacks

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BowlingForPennies
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Ducks have feathers so they can cover their

butt quack

πŸ‘︎ 50
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffyboi6969
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get down off an elephant?

You don't. You get down off a duck.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Which side of a chicken has more feathers?

The outside

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Azeedx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

Feathers, because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zerogivin
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Which side of a chicken has the most feathers?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Which weighs more, a gallon of water, or a gallon of butane?

A gallon of water. Butane is a lighter fluid.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ew0k5AN0nomi5
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover his butt quack

πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Otacon56
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does a duck have tail feathers?

To cover his quack.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Foammunition
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Which side of the chicken has more feathers?

The outside.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
🚨︎ report

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