which side of a bird has the most feathers?

the outside

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📅︎ Sep 29 2020
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Birds of a feather imgur.com/ZKuouct
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👤︎ u/Hsmooth
📅︎ Mar 05 2017
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Birds of a Feather... imgur.com/a/CCPSU
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👤︎ u/au7s
📅︎ Apr 17 2016
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What weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?

A ton of feathers. You have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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📅︎ Oct 21 2020
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My wife was picking feathers off my sweater...

and turns to me and asked, "have you been cheating on me with a bird?"

So I look at her right in the eye and said, "I swear... It was just a peck on the cheek."

She almost kicked me out of the house.

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📅︎ Nov 20 2014
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Gertrude and Heathcliff see an airplane

Red Skelton:   Heathcliff and Gertrude are flying along when all of the sudden an airplane goes whizzing by .

Gertrude says to Heathcliff, €œGood heavens! Did you see how fast that bird was going? €

Heathcliff says, €œSo what? If your tail feathers were on fire, you’d be going that fast too! €

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👤︎ u/tfraymond
📅︎ Oct 02 2019
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Clean kill

My grandfather, in his younger days, retired from his NASCAR dreams to do construction so he could raise a family. Fast forward 45 years to 1994. I was around 15. My grandfather, grandmother, her mother, and I were on the return trip from the Costco and liquor store just inside the no sales tax state of Oregon. My grandfather was, as usual, driving. He raced for Lincoln and they sponsored him so they gave him a really good lifetime discount. He drove a brand new Continental his entire life. He always raced down to Oregon as fast as he could and then tried beating his time while driving back. Suddenly, at about 140mph, a Pheasant committed suicide on the front end. We could see feathers occasionally come loose. Grandpa already had a couple minutes to make up. Needless to say, despite my grandma's insistance, stopping to investigate wasn't in the plans. When we got home, he was cussing an ill timed traffic light with a bored motorcycle cop parked on the sidewalk waiting for his target. My grandma and great grandma nearly died when, without batting an eye, grandpa pulled the Pheasant off the car, grabbed his Gerber knife, and stripped, cleaned, and threw the bird on the BBQ. I was in dying from laughter at this point. Grandma and my great grandma were dying from embarrassment. He offered them some and grandma angrily refused for the 3 of us, calling it road kill. Without skipping a beat, he calmly replied "This isn't road kill, it's Continental Wild Pheasant, Twice-Grilled."

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📅︎ Jul 02 2018
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I tried ordering a cheap synthetic comforter.

But my wife cried fowl. Feeling down I ordered one with bird feathers.

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👤︎ u/motnock
📅︎ Feb 04 2019
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Ravens and Crows

A good friend told me a story once. When she was a kid her family would often go to zoos and museums while on vacation. They were in the aviary on one of those visits looking at birds. My friend saw a crow asked the zookeeper a question. "What's the difference between a raven and a crow?" The zookeeper looked at her, smiled and started to answer. "Have you ever heard of a pinion feather?" he said. "Pinions are the the feathers at the tip of a bird's wing that allows it to fly. They are also the ones that people will trim to prevent birds from flying away. Crows have 5 pinion feathers while ravens have 6. So, if you think about it, it's really just a matter of a pinion."

To this day, my friend and her family don't know the real answer to "What's the difference between a crow and a raven?" They are wonderful and intelligent people, but they subscribe to a particular brand of ignorance where a good pun is better than actual knowledge. They call it punorance.

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👤︎ u/JediPaxis
📅︎ Feb 14 2017
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Which is heavier, 200 lbs of bricks or 200 lbs of feathers?

Answer: 200 lbs of feathers. Bricks are just bricks. but 200 lbs of feathers, you'll walk around also with the weight of What you did to those birds.

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📅︎ Aug 19 2015
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Which weighs more, a tonne of bricks or a tonne of feathers?

The feathers. Because you also have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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📅︎ Sep 06 2020
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Which weighs more, a pound of bricks or a pound of feathers?

Feathers, because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds.

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👤︎ u/zerogivin
📅︎ Jun 02 2019
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