I wanted to buy a $30 meal for my father, my grandfather and father-in-law. I figured they'd lump em all together and charge a reduced fee...

But no. I was charged $30 a pop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
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OC posted in honor of my dear father-in-law, who died of cancer today

Apologies for not following the usual formatting. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. A few weeks ago, we learned it had spread to his brain. Later that day, he told me:

β€œWell, everyone came by after they heard about the lung cancer and told me how strong and great I am, and that I’d beat lung cancer...”

pauses for effect

β€œ...I guess I let it go to my head.”

Edit: thank you all for the kind words (and the silver/gold/platinum...I’ll be making matching gifts to St. Jude’s or a similar organization).

Yes he was a great man. At age 20 he was given 3 months to live due to another β€˜incurable’ disease. He stuck around for another 45+ years. I could go on and on...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
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Just got the Father-in-law with this one... Me: At Disney World parades they keep people in line with masking tape on the ground.

Father-in-Law: And do people actually adhere to it? Me: No, cuz they put it sticky side down.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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My father-in-law (who's last name is Word) after a week of travel: Are you getting sick of the Word "family"?

Me: That's an odd word to get sick of.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dye590
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
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My father in law has had an ear infection for three weeks.

I had to double check that, it didn't sound right.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ICWhatsNUrP
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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"I'd like to have a toast" said the father-in-law at his daughters wedding

"Add some jam on it," he continued

(Smh this wasn't appreciated enough at r/jokes)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QueenKyoko
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
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Father-In-Law hit me with this after asking him about his truck

We're supposed to go pick up a jeep in his truck and I wanted to make sure the trailer wiring was the same for his newer truck

https://i.imgur.com/KKMuKue.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AtlasOffroader
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
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Walking into Lowes with my father in-law, he got my brother in-law and I good.

As we are getting close to walking into the store we walk past three gentlemen standing outside and one of them is holding some lumber. My father in-law looks at them and says "Must be having an important board meeting, carry on gentlemen".

We died laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Praefectus27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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My father-in-law knows how much I love puns, so he gave me this game for Christmas
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alx924
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2016
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My Father in Law, ladies and gentlemen...

Just saw this comment he made on Facebook... http://i.imgur.com/I8k3ngT.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlokeDownUnder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
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Got my father-in-law. Now he accepts that I'm ready to be a dad.

My mother-in-law and father-in-law are named Mary and Jeff. As we left their house last night on Christmas Eve, I hugged my mother-in-law and said "Merry Christmas", then hugged my father-in-law and said "Jeff Christmas".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyNamesNotTaylor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2014
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Father in law in the store.

So we're Swedish and this joke only works in Swedish (sorry). We went to buy some food, and the word liver has 2 meanings in Swedish ( lever - live and liver) So I said (pointing at the liver) Liver. He walk up to it and stares at it... And then he says nah looks pretty dead to me...

Sorry probably not so funny for you non sweeds..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OHDEERGOAT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2014
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Courtesy of my father in law

He was watching my son and then sent this.

something witty

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
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My father-in-law told my wife that there was β€œpee” on the floor
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fishguts1001
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2013
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Father-In-Law having trouble with Posts on his new Facebook account. [OC] [DadJokes] [xpost] imgur.com/a/h4UXP
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ultimape
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2014
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My father-in-law, whenever someone injures themself

It'll feel better when it stops hurting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megabozz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2015
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My father-in-law posted this today. Not a typical Dad Joke, but I figured this sub would appreciate it.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solstice4l
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2017
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Had dinner with the future father in law last night

And I looked at my food sighed heavily and put my face in my hands.

Him: "What's going on?"

Me: "There's just so much on my plate right now"

Then I asked for his daughters hand in marriage.

It was a yes!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevingcp
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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Dadjoked my father-in-law

Father-in-law gets out of the shower, says to my husband,"You're up!" I reply, "Asia!" :::crickets::: I add, "Oh, I thought we were just saying names of continents." The look of jealous contempt from my FIL was priceless.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asparagusbelle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2015
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My father in law stands corrected

He posted this on Facebook yesterday:

I noticed that when I stood I leaned slightly to the left. My wife insisted that I go to the doctor, against my will. He diagnosed my left leg slightly shorter than my right. Adding insoles to my shoe cured me. Debbie reminded me how I doubted her about going to the doctor. I replied, "I stand corrected."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/solstice4l
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2016
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My Father-In-Law, ladies and gentlemen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_crow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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Take some peppermint from my garden, My Father in Law suggested

"It needs to be used before it goes bad."

Mr.Brotato responds: "Would you say it's no longer in....mint condition?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SmashedBrotato
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2016
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My Father-in-law is a lawyer. He was going on a scuba trip.

We told him to stay safe and make sure he didn't get bitten by a shark. He said "Nah, sharks won't bite me. Professional courtesy"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tullyswimmer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2017
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My father in law attempted a dad joke. I ruined it.

Father in law: Have you ever seen pine nuts?

Me: Yah why?

FIL: How did you get it to spread it's legs(snickers)

Me: Log splitter (drinks beer)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/insanotard
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2017
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Father-In-Law just laid this one on the wife and I

So my wife is working on Genealogy stuff, and was asking her dad about some of his family history. After telling a few stories about some of his other uncles, he comes to his uncle Charles. "I was named after him, you know..." he tells us.

We look at him more than a bit incredulously, as his name is Michael.

He smiles and says "What? I sure as hell wasn't named BEFORE him..."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohnoesazombie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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My father-in-law is teaching me well

He texted my wife the following (my name's Hoss)

Do you know what that motion is called when Hoss walks his Harley backwards out of the garage without starting it?

Reverse Hossmosis! :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Im_Not_Famous
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
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Repartee with father-in-law

My father-in-law is good at puns and dad jokes, and we usually just groan. However, the other day he and I had this exchange:


FIL: I'm disappointed in this sub.

Me: Would you say that it's sub par?

FIL: The lack of meatballs really torpedoed it.

Me: It would take a real hero to save it.

FIL: My buddy Hoagie, he could do it.

Me: yeah, he's a real grinder.

FIL and me: [fistbump]


Literally the first time he and I fistbumped. My wife and mother-in-law both facepalmed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/edgesmash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2014
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Father in law on fire this Sunday afternoon

Doing a crossword with my father in law and mother in law. He told me that he completed The Times crossword (which is apparently one of the hardest crosswords) the other day all except one clue. Mother in law says "go on then darling tell me the clue I bet I'll work it out" He says the clue is "heavily laden postman" She says "how many letters" He says "hundreds and hundreds I should think" Dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/megpuss21
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2016
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My father in law's favourite joke

When someone asks him if he got a haircut he responds "No, I got them all cut!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superbok1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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My father-in-law just got me with this one....face palm.

How do you get down off an elephant? You don't....you get down from a duck.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/solstice4l
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2014
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After shoveling the driveway, my father in law told me he threw his back out.

I don't know why he would do that. He's definitely going to need it still.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chadburycreameggs
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2017
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My father in law is a pro

My father in law hurt his foot last week. We asked him if it has healed yet.

"Oh, it is 'healed', but it is not well, yet"

The groans in the room were deafening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevbob02
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2015
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[X-Post: r/DadJokes] My Father-In-Law, ladies and gentlemen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/king_crow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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My Father-in-law just dropped this one at dinner last night.

My wife: My friend broke her in ankle in 3 places! FIL: What places? She should stop going to those places.

Everyone else groaned but I laughed and congratulated him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElGuaco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2015
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my father in-law is the annoying king of dadjokes. pulled out this monster today

My wife was telling her mom about a story she read online about a crazy boyfriend who cut his girlfriends young sons head off. Her mom freaks out and goes omg where? Dad responds right above the shoulders where else

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaronfitz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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Father in law was barbecuing for labor day

I asked if he wanted to help and he said Yeah for sure, but then I said "nah forget, you can just go shuck yourself". He was proud I married into the family.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TEMPLEWORKER
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2016
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My father-in-law: still dad-joking, even in the emergency room

While sitting on a gurney in the ER for chest pains (he's fine, just high blood pressure):

Doctor: So, what brought you here today? Father-in-law: The ambulance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/witty_username
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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Future father-in-law hit us with this last night

FiancΓ©e: Both the dads will need to wear the same purple tie so that they match at the wedding.

FIL: So we will have to share the same tie?

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2017
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Dadjoked my father-in-law

FIL, MIL, wife and I are in a car looking for a parking space, FIL driving. We're in a packed parking lot and he says to everyone, "look for a parking spot."

I point to a row of cars and say "there's a bunch right there!"

Wife says "none are empty, though."

I say "Yeah, but they're parking spots!"

FIL gave me the stink eye and sighed

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madprofessor8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2015
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Father-in-Law got me good. imgur.com/PjNabif
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nRRe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2013
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My father-in-law got my 3-year-old son

My in-laws were over and playing with my son. My father-in-law put a small bucket on his head like a hat.

He looked at my son and asked, "Does this hat make me look pail?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/QuestionMarkyMark
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2015
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My Father-in-Law on his death bed

The hospice nurse was asking mandatory questions of my Father-in-Law, terminal with cancer:

Nurse: Were you ever sexually abused as a child?

Father-in-Law: No, I was neglected.

Nurse: (surprised) Neglected?

Father-in-Law: No one ever loved me enough to give me any sexual abuse.

It's possible to laugh and cry at the same time. My Father-in-Law was legendary and laughed even in the face of death.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fericyde
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2014
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Father in Law showed me he's still got it today...

At the zoo watching otters laze around he turned to us and goes "on a sunny day like this i bet they're getting otter otter laying there!" I had to acknowledge it was pretty quick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/badshrubbery
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2016
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Not my best but satisfying to dad joke my father-in-law.

Father-in-law Text: You left your sunglasses on the dining room table. Me: That was not very BRIGHT!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pickled_Ramaker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2016
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My father in law everybody..

http://imgur.com/xj3x0pD So my father in law decided to offer up some mildly useful advice with a problem of mine. I thought this was the perfect place to share.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twerkintwat
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2015
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Father-in-law posted a picture of him and his wife holding whisks on Christmas day saying, "We whisk you a Merry Christmas!"

His wife just rolled her eyes when I mentioned it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madprofessor8
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2014
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Heard from my Father in Law while driving along a backcountry road in Michigan...

After just passing an alpaca ranch...

"What do you get when you give some holsters and guns to an alpaca?"

Alpacan heat...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/belinck
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2016
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Father in law got us good on the way to the bowling alley.

"Well there is AMC so AMF should be coming up soon"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Riser_pads
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2016
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My father in law

He was trying to get the last few drops of drink out of the water bottle. I told him he should ring it out. Apparently he would if he knew its number.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2014
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Father in law dadjoked my wife...

Wife: So they're going to do a 36-week ultrasound to see how large the baby is.

FIL: Wow, that's a really long ultrasound.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lendrick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2014
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Father-in-law got us good before a hike

We were getting ready to go hiking around Mt. Rainier, and were hanging out in a large tent my wife's grandparents had set up. Her younger brother tried turning on a light hanging from the ceiling of the tent, but it wasn't plugged in. My Father-in-law looked at him seriously and said "looks like you'll need to plug it in to a currant bush."

Cue groans and eye rolls from everyone. At least I was able to appreciate the beauty of a quick-witted dad joke.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2015
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My ginger father-in-law recently purchased a KIA.

Now he has a Soul.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uniqueOddity83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2015
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ex-sister-in-law jokes grew penis, became father.

"If you wear cowboy clothes.... are you ranch dressing?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/margraves
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2015
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It's the birthday of my Polish speaking father-in-law

Seconds away from seeing him I thought to ask how to say Happy Birthday, she just said it's complicated.

Dad: DzieΕ„ dobry

Her: Wszystkiego Najlepszego Z Okazji Urodzin!

Me: It's Complicated!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FatherSquee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2016
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My father in law got my wife just now

So my wife just had a baby and we were talking about who he looks like..

My wife says: "I think he'll look like me, I've got some good genes!"

Father-in-law: "I do too! They're wranglers!"...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acousticreverb
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2015
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Watching the news with my father-in-law last night...

and it showed an artist sketch of a person that had been robbing some local corner stores. The sketch had a dude in a snow cap and sunglasses.

I didn't catch the first half of the story and asked what he was wanted for.

His response..."I guess he was looking kinda shady." and then gave me that little dad joke smile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/0rfinKing
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2013
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Father in law just said this one to my pregnant wife

My wife is pregnant and talking about how much she weighs now but we don't have a scale so I asked her how she knows her weight.

She said she gets weighed every checkup at the doctors.

Her dad: do they have a weigh-ting room?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/achilles57
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2015
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So my father in law has been sick.

My father in law has been sick with the flu for about a week now. I text him, "How ya feeling?" His reply: "With my fingers."

Hilarity ensued.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5ype
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2014
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From my father-in-law at dinner tonight.

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.

PS; I have a great relationship with my in-laws.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmosParnell
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2014
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Dad joked my father in law

I was at my in laws this morning and some houses are being built in the next neighborhood. We were watching them work Father in law: boy, what do you think they make? Me: houses :D I feel like I just became a man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lnasty2k7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2014
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My father-in-law drew a dad joke on the cereal box
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ForgetfulDoryFish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2013
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Father-in-law comments on a little person

I was getting dropped off at school with my now wife by my now father-in-law. There was a little person on campus who happened to pass in front of our car while smoking a cigarette as we were getting ready to get out.

>Wife: "There's the LP who is in my African American studies class. She always has a cigarette in her hand."

>Father-in-law: "She should be careful; it may stunt her growth."

>Me: smirk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RonViking
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2014
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Father in law said this earlier.

The neighbor got (our daughter) a frozen outfit for Christmas. Hopefully it thaws out.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulisnofun
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2014
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Future Father-in-Law dadjoked the family - only my father laughed

During his first dinner with my family, my (now) wife's father casually complained, "I've got a problem with a few of my employees. I was crunching the numbers and noticed that they are taking 40% of their days off on Mondays and Fridays."

Eveyone else at the table stared blankly while my father cracked up. It took the rest of us a bit too long to get that dadjoke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkmeatchicken
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2014
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A guy at my father-in-law's work got in an upholstery machine accident...

He told me not to worry though because he's fully recovered!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adecle
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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My father-in-law's joke.

We're coming out of a restaurant after dinner and it's a little brisk out.

My husband: "It's cold out here!"

Me: "Where's your jacket?"

Husband: "I left it at home."

His dad: "He's keeping the house warm while you're gone."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/illdrawyourface
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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Father-in-law pulled this after surgery

My father-in-law had a hernia surgery and was updating people on how he was feeling on Facebook.

He finished by saying, "My doctor is a real joker...he left me in stitches."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/youthpastor247
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2014
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Helping my father in law move his gun safe when it slipped slightly and bruised my bicep.

"That gun safe didn't keep my guns safe."

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thanas1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2014
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My Father-in-law told me he was being 100% Frank...

... I told him I just wanted him to be 100% David.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jagahanas
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2015
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A Few of my Father In-Laws Favorite jokes and sayings.

As a man with 3 daughters, hormones are often mentioned. Each time one of his girls says the word "hormone" he always chimes in with: Well, you know what sound a hormone makes, right? "Oooooh yeaaah Mike (in a high pitched voice)" Get it? Whore moan...

And he often tells his kids: "if you had a brain, it would be lonely."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rcottle86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2013
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Just had these gems dropped on me by my father and brother in law

Dad - what kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Me - idk dad Dad - SNEAKers

Brother in law - how do you make and egg roll Me - how? Brother in law - you push it.

They high five and laugh for about five minutes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahhvinnie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2013
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Friend's father in law is full of these
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2013
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My Father in Law (Every Time!)

Does your face hurt?

It's killing me!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Efentool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2013
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A couple of dad jokes from the father-in-law (mild language)

Dunlap Disease:

Everytime we pass a fairly overweight person, he says:

Him: "Poor guy, he's got Dunlap's Disease. His belly done lapped over his pants."

Dicky-Do Disease:

Him: "Poor guy, he's got the Dicky-do Disease. His stomach pokes farther out than his dicky do."

My father-in-law, ladies and gents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Top_Drawer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2014
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My father-in-law always told this one...

Father-in-law: See that place over there? (Points to a cemetery)

Wife: Sure.

Father-in-law: People are just dying to get in there.

You'll be happy to know she carries on the proud tradition and says it to our kids ever time we pass a cemetery...every, damm, time.

Edit:Formatting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imdickie
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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I told my father in law that I had to go blow my nose.

"Alright, just don't let it blow away"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/babynoxide
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2015
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Father in Law just got my husband

Husband was fixing the temp of their freezer. He asks, "Where do you want it?" FIL: "In the kitchen."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xibalba0130
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2015
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My father-in-law got us with a dark one...

My mother-in-law was in the hospital for a week with spinal meningitis (she's fine now, fully recovered). During this hospitalization, the family cat went missing. While my wife and her father were at the hospital taking care of her mum and helping her get tons of tests done every day, one of my evening responsibilities was to go looking for the dang cat.

One evening towards the end of the week, I was updating them on the cat hunt situation, to which her father replied, "I just don't understand it. We've just been through about 6 CAT scans this week and we still can't find the bloody cat!"

...Groans ensued...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justgrant2009
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2014
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My brother in law my be a father...

My sister realized her dog tore the old skirt that goes under the Christmas tree and was talking about buying a new one.

Her: You and I can buy a new skirt tomorrow.

Him: I don't know, I'm more of a pants kind of guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/domsquad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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My 4-year-old set up my father-in-law.

4-Year-Old: "I want to be a lifeguard at Atlantic City."

Me: "That's cool."

Father-in-law : "No it's not. That sun gets very hot at the beach."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/412WhatItDo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2014
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My father in law swished this from downtown.

My mother in law was choosing me for leaving my breakfast utensils and drink on the table.

Her husband smirked, "Yeah, get your FORK AND coffee and get outta here!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanman1975
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2015
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My two year old snagged my father in law with this one

My father in law passed by the kitchen and said, "Remind me to bring the cooler."

My two year old followed him out of the room and grabbed him yelling, "Daddy Ken! Remember your cooler! "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanman1975
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2014
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Father in-law dropped this one on us.

I like to go to a restaurant and order an egg sandwich and a chicken sandwich and see which one comes out first.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ksrdian
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2014
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One from my father-in-law

FIL: looks like a train just went past that crossing.

Me: How can you tell?

FIL: It left tracks.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimrob4
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2014
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From my father-in-law this afternoon

During a visit with my husband's parents this afternoon, my father-in-law asked about whether our son (16 months old) got a lot of playtime with other little kids around his age. I said that we go to play dates occasionally, and I mentioned that we have one coming up this week that's also a gender reveal party because the mom who's hosting is pregnant again.

FIL said, "Gender reveal? I know -- she's a female!"

Touche, FIL.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jemstar
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2014
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First joke my father-in-law told me.

As we were driving past a cemetery:

Him: "Know how many dead people are buried there?"

Me (thinking he's got an interesting fact or something): "No?"

Him: "Hopefully all of them."

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
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Having dinner with my father-in-law...

And we're talking about Christmas presents. He mentions to my wife that I should get a new Surface (after having just bought myself a new laptop) and the exchange went as follows :

FiL: Get him a new Surface 2, mija.

Wife: Another tablet??

Me: Yeah, I've totally been a good boy; I deserve it!

Wife: Not even close.

FiL: Well drive to Best Buy then you'll be closer.

He proceeded to laugh for a good minute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aiurx
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2013
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We told my father in law, that we've had seen a burning car on the way to their home...

"well, they call it combustion engine." was his only reply :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Levikus
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2014
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Father-in-law's response to invitation to cheese tasting at a vineyard next week

I'm off, "wine" not!

Edit: This was via email. Yeah, he included the quotes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lavishly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2014
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My father-in-law asked me if I knew why he carried a .45

Because they don't make a .46!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mhbaker82
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2013
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Father in law likes to bike ride

FIL: "Going for a ride, back in a bit" MIL: "Okay, be safe. Make sure to watch your shoulder" FIL: "But if I watch my shoulder how can I see where I'm going? Doesn't seem safe to me" MIL: ...groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cakedestroyer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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The Father in Law

FIL: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

Me: Not sure.

FIL: A stick.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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OC posted in honor of my dear father-in-law, who died of cancer today

Apologies for not following the usual formatting. My father-in-law was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months ago. A few weeks ago, we learned it had spread to his brain. Later that day, he told me:

β€œWell, everyone came by after they heard about the lung cancer and told me how strong and great I am, and that I’d beat lung cancer...”

pauses for effect

β€œ...I guess I let it go to my head.”

Edit: thank you all for the kind words (and the silver/gold/platinum...I’ll be making matching gifts to St. Jude’s or a similar organization).

Yes he was a great man. At age 20 he was given 3 months to live due to another β€˜incurable’ disease. He stuck around for another 45+ years. I could go on and on...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bilgerat78
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
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