Because they take things literally
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
and I was like watt?
It’s my P.S. de resistance.
He can't just comprehend what attachments are!
He was boring.
He replied confused and worried, "How does that work? Your education is on the line!"
It speaks for itself.
turns out, there's no point to it.
It means a lot.
“Really?” the coworker asks. “What showed you she really loved you?”
“She was just really excited to have me around,” the man replied. “Like when the mailman and FedEx guy came to the door she shouted excitedly, ‘My husband is home! My husband is home!’”
"Yeah, he's a legend."
It's my exposition exposition ex-position.
But I just couldn't get the message across.
Edit: I wish I knew more about networking so I could understand all these jokes.
I gotta hand it to him.
No one can follow my thot process.
Or is it just me? My eldest is 8 but I still had to show him what a zippo was before I laid the hippo/zippo one on him.
He calls it his P.S. de resistance.
Because you should never go bass to mouth
Her dad overheard and asked, "Well then what's the last page?"
Because there's over a thousand degrees.
Everybody around me heard that and groaned. The guy in front of me stared back like, "you've gotta be kidding me"
No, it just makes it not plain.
They just make scents
I tell him how some castle guards would take night shifts.
He said “so some knights will sleep all day and wake up and night time?”
Me: “yes... they are called... nights...”
they said, "you don't say!"
It’s informative, but the frog dies.
After a brief explanation of what 420 is, my dad responded with:
So it's the pot smoker's cocktail hour.
It's the pottail hour.
http://m.imgur.com/KilTm4j
So I said, "It's like normal tabletoping, but we do it using one of our chat apps." My brother responds, "It's called Discord!" To which my dad says, "Are you sure it's not datcord?"
I told her that if she did that, she would make potty.
I hope i'm posting in the right place, I just felt I had to share this.
Just a couple of minutes ago i was reading something about an abdominal exercise that included the word "perpendicular". I asked my dad ,who was sitting at his computer, what it meant, and without missing a beat he spun around in his chair, looked me dead in the eye and began chanting
"in days of old
when knights where bold
and ladies weren't particular
they stood them up
against a wall
and fucked them perpendicular"
He rotated his chair back towards the computer and mumbled "means "upright".."
"How do you know that, Dad?"
"I know everything."
"No you don't!"
"Yes I do; I used to live down the street from him."
I listened for a while before I told him, "You Bohr me."
After getting nagged for swearing I say "Times have changed." My dad replies with "You're right, it's daylight savings."
Me: So Stephany and I took a ferry across the bay to go eat lunch
Dad: Oh that sounds nice! What was his name?
Me:....Whose name?
Dad: The fairy that you took out to lunch
I had this dream, I was at my Grandparent's house, and my grandfather was doing some sort of hand surgery on me, my bones were all showing and he was taking out some calcified tissue that was stuck to my bones. It was pretty weird and very graphic.
My coworker says "Wow, that's so weird! Does he do something like that for a living?"
I say, "Well no, he isn't a surgeon, but he is quite the handy man!"
Dad interrupts with "yeah, lardon is just bacon thats excited"
It means a lot
It "means" a lot
It means a lot.
It means a lot
:D
It means a lot.
