It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.

They take everything literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/God_Smith82
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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I have a hard time listening to people explain how to sharpen knives.

It’s very dull at the beginning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
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My young son and I were having our first discussion about drugs. He was curious about why people would do drugs in the first place, and I told him that many people do it because it produces different feelings of euphoria. He asked, "what's euphoria?" I told him that it was hard to explain...

But it's a feeling somewhere between euthreeia and eufiveia.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wgf5823
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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This ones hard to explain but you kind of need an image.

So if a tardis is a police booth. Then a porta potty is a turdis.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scepticgamer511
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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It’s hard to explain
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rickydamelio
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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My dad's favorite gag is hard to explain, so I made it into a quick comic imgur.com/1pavONg
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peachybutton
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2013
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It’s hard explaining to a child that sometime you have to put a dog down.

They just want to hold it to show their love!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RexDiometus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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Even Ferdinand Feghoot could be outpunned on occasion – but he always rose to the challenge.

There was, for instance, the time he conducted a crew of new S.A.R.H. (Society for the Aesthetic Rearrangement of History -BJ) recruits – all from late twentieth-century Terra – on a training study of Carter’s World, a newly established agricultural colony attempting to support itself by the export of edible nuts. Barely into their second generation, and having yet to show a profit, the colonists were technologically backward. Nevertheless, they showed a surprising ingenuity in the use of their few advantages. It was this resourcefulness that Feghoot was demonstrating to his rookies.

β€œLook at the perfection with which these streets are graded”, exclaimed one student. β€œEarth-moving machinery on this scale is strictly high technology stuff. How can they do it?”

β€œA new alleyway is being constructed, nearby”, said Feghoot. β€œLet us walk that way while I explain.” As they strolled, he told his students that countless centuries before, the Carter’s World system had been inhabited by a now-vanished race of giants. This very planet had served them for a nursery, and among the many artifacts they had left were thousands of childrens blocks, immense and precision-cut. You simply jack one up onto logs, bring it where you want it, put collapsible jacks underneath, snake out the logs, spread soil more or less evenly beneath, and collapse the jacks.

β€œI see”, said the student. β€œIt’s not graded road at all; its a simple hammered-earth base.”

β€œThat’s right,” Feghoot went on smoothly. β€œYou just hit the road jack and don’t come back no mo.”

His students registered dismay and anguish.

β€œIsn’t that right, old-timer?,” Feghoot demanded of an ancient Carterian standing by the mouth of the newly completed alley they had just reached.

β€œAhm afraid not, suh”, said the senior citizen, and the students giggled at Feghoots discomfiture. β€œOh, we used to do it that way, but it was far too much trouble. It’s the soil heah. You see, the very same soil which produced our famous cashews is so high in clay content that a child could roll out a road of it. Then, we simply use a system of lenses to bake it into hardness. Ahve just completed this alley mahself, and ahm just a retired professor of Sports History, much too old and feeble to handle hydraulic jacks.

β€œSo you see,” he finished, eyes twinkling, β€œMah hammered alley is really cashews clay.”

Howls of agony rose from the students, but Feghoot never hesitated. β€œAnd he”, he said, turning to his students, β€œis clearly the gradi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nomnommish
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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What is the definition of abstract?

It's hard to explain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/2noob4u_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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I was asked once about the meaning of the word ' inexplicable ' in a sentence..

..and found it very hard to explain.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
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My daughter asked me what "inexplicable" means.

I said, "it's hard to explain."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodMustafi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
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Dirty biology dadjoke.

So while tutoring a Biology study group, (mind you, they are 18-20 year old guys and ladies I'm 24 and married) I was explaining a hard concept to the group, and a girl exclaimed: "Jesusdo, you're hard!" Because apparently I wasn't making too much sense...I responded with: "Thanks, but I prefer to receive that compliment from my wife though" That girl's face went redder than a tomato the same with everyone else's and much laughter was had. :)

Edit: autocorrect messed up my username.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jesusdo
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2014
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My socially awkward dad

The first time we met my brother's gf (now wife) she was talking about how many natural disasters there is in USA (brother's gf from Boston, we are from Denmark) and we have almost none here

and he continues the topic

Dad: "well... The only natural disaster in Denmark is 'mom' in a bathing suit.."

We laughed so hard (even 'mom') except the gf, she begins to cry and claims that danes are monsters.. Then he'd explain that this is the humor of Denmark, and she understood. Now she even makes this kind of jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mons388
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2013
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Dad-joked my supervisor at my new job.

He was explaining how he didn't want to sell his apartment because the building it was in was really solid;

Him: "It's just really sturdy. It has no faults, you know. It has no flaws"

Me: "NO FLOORS?! THEN WHAT DO YOU STAND ON?!"

I then proceeded to slap my leg and laugh good and hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSamKing
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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More than meets the eye

I was working on disconnecting an old intercom system in our house when I explained to the wife that it's powered by a low voltage line.
Wife: Can't you just cut the power line?
Me: I need to disconnect it at the transformer where the power comes in.
Wife: Well where's that?
Me: Well they're hard to find because it's a robot in disguise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyOtherAccount_3
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2016
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Dad pulled this one out at dinner tonight

Just to set this up a little, my family went out to a pretty crowded restaurant. He approached the hostess, Dad: "how long is the wait?" Host:"It'll be 10 or 20 minutes" Dad:" I'll take 10" This is when the host starts to slowly explain what she meant. My dad then clarified he was just giving her a hard time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArchaNiedes
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2015
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My mother's first dad joke.

So when I was cooking in the kitchen (which is very narrow and small) I accidentally brushed up on a loosely closed tin can of Door Varnish spilling it all everywhere. I had to explain after I tried to clean it up to my mother and brother.

Me: So yeah, I spilled the whole can of door varnish on the kitchen floor and the hallway, it's going to hard to walk around for a little while.

My Brother: changes conversation Anyways are you free tomorrow, Mum?

My Mother: Yes, but first we must get out of this sticky situation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePeachyPanda
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2014
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It's hard to explain puns to Kleptomaniacs

They always take things literally

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeevesPoltergist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs,

because they take everything literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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It's hard to explain things to a kleptomaniac

They always take things literally

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bearnakedgamer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
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It’s hard to explain things to kleptomaniacs

Because they always take things literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ew0k5AN0nomi5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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It’s hard to explain things to kleptomaniacs

Because they always take things literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ew0k5AN0nomi5
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

... they always take things literally

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brizzo7
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs.

They always take things literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ntuso
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs

because they always take things literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrSelatcia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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It's really hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs

... because they always take things literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puzzles_thebar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2014
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Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shavedclean
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2013
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Trying to explain puns.

Its hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bisexual_Annie
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2014
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My daughter asked me what "inexplicable" means.

I said, "It's hard to explain."

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Musicguy1982
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2018
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My daughter asked me what β€œinexplicable” means.

I said, β€œIt’s hard to explain.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2018
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