I am very expert when going to sleep.

I can do with my eyes closed.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
What do wilderness survival experts use to cook their burgers

Bear Grills

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carcival
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
I wish I was an expert at tying ropes together

but I’m knot

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bagelfaceass
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an expert wine taster from the horn of Africa?

A Somalier

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peva3
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Cat Expert.
πŸ‘︎ 117
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πŸ‘€︎ u/whyyoutookmyname
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
I've bought a book called 'How to become an expert in Origami.'

So far, I've made over 1000 paper snow balls.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Found out martial arts expert Bruce Lee had a vegan brother

His name was Broco Lee

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacrelidge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm an expert at idioms

I know them like the front of my hand

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NoMoreTerritory
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
There's a new show on BBC where heroin junkies can determine via experts, how much money they've shot up over the years.

It's called,Cash in the Addict.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossco1874
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Sleep experts reckon that in order to stay optimally healthy, you need "6-8 hours a day".

That's me buggered then, my day has 24 hours.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
What military branch is an expert on belly buttons?

The Naval Corps.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My complete jerk of a brother is a Karate expert, a Chef and a Lawyer!

Dad calls him "Chop Suey."

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an old explosive expert?

A BOOMer

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayFlitz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an expert at dad jokes?

A master of pun fu

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
People Who Are Expert Fishers Are Also Master Baiters
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/xoyamec69
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Experts have confirmed that bowling is officially the quietest sport.

You can hear a pin drop, after all.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
You'll definitely need an expert for that
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ELZEKO_gamer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Y'all acting like overclocking is an expert thing
πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sonujohny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Experts warn that all this social distancing is causing a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression.

The Flat Earth Society is especially worried. They think their members might be driven over the edge.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a martial arts expert drink?

Kara-tea

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Driving past a farm, I said to the kids, "Those are expert horses..."

"... They're out standing in their field."

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuzinrob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I met this rich, easy-going fingerprints expert.

"Wow," I thought to myself, "This is really a man of the whorl."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaderosegrey
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Sorry if this breaks the rules but, please cheer up my dad! He's a punctuation expert who is recovering from surgery. He just had half of his lower digestive system removed. It would really cheer him up if you could comment with his favorite punctuation mark:

;

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/edhere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
🚨︎ report
Why are mobsters expert at chopping down trees?

Because they're goodfellers.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a denim expert?

A jeanius.

πŸ‘︎ 230
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πŸ‘€︎ u/flyingfishtaco
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Pun experts, I need your help

I want to change my IGN to something that includes puns. right now I came up with "PunKneeShare" which I think is not that original nor good. what are your suggestions?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Awesome_Arsam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?

Bruce Leaf.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tommyboy3111
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Calamari fishing expert

My friend, Ming Kuo, is an expert at fishing for calamari. We call him "Squid Pro Kuo!"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JuanTu34
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cat litter expert?

A cat litterate

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tightheadband
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know a lot of drug addicts are experts in geology?

They’re called stoners for a reason, you know.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mastercore8112
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Today on the bus I sat next to a man who was an expert on fungal organisms. The whole time he was talking to me all I could think was...

That is not a fungi.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/talesOfTheNow
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be an expert in the Dunning-Kruger effect.

Then I started to learn more about it.

πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2018
🚨︎ report
I watch the History Channel a lot. I’ve become an expert, actually. Ask me anything,

about American Pickers.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Genghis Khan and his soldiers were experts in haircuts and shaving.

They were a barberic tribe.

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a ballistics experts favorite snack?

Chips and glockamole

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/caddycoup
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2019
🚨︎ report
If one is an expert in tying knots,

One does knot simply.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a dinosaur with expert taste on a subject?

A connoi-saurus.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/113CandleMagic
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2018
🚨︎ report
After years of research, experts finally determined the leading cause of dry skin:

Towels.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackMcCracken
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
🚨︎ report
Did you hear what the demolitions expert did to his competition at the poop-joke-making contest?

He wrecked 'em.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bathroom_Pninja
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2017
🚨︎ report
If you're looking for an expert on small, endangered Indonesian buffalo...

Anoa guy

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gtbishop83
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2018
🚨︎ report

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