I listen to every type of music except heavy metal
Because heavy metals are toxic.
(I -22f- have created this joke when i was 15, I was waiting for an opportunity to disgust people with it. So here you go reddit lol)
How can you prove that the "I" before "E" except after "C" doesn't always apply ?
I decided to go on a vacation with my family. Almost all the hotel rooms were booked except one
It was our last resort...
One of my friends told me he was opening a clothing store that sold everything except for hats.
I thought he was pulling my leg, but when I asked him, he told me "Yeah man it's true, no cap."
I’m in great shape except for my pudgy midsection.
Know your ABC's kids (Except for Guwucci, he sucks)
I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the weight lifting...
I like all Ghibli movies, except for Howl's Moving Castle.
I'm holding a 17th Century Party, and all the Enlightenment thinkers can swing by - except one.
I went to cake shop and all the cakes were £1 except one which was £3...
I asked the shopkeeper why and he said "That's Madeira cake"
It was around Christmas and I had bought gifts for everyone except my parents.
I had no idea what to get them. But after a long brainstorming I finally decided to get the a new fridge.
It's was actually so satisfying to see their faces lit up as they opened it.
Some jerk pointed at the butt of an exceptionally furry donkey and asked me what it was.
I said "That's a hairy ass ass ass, ass!"
Except when he's with a gun.....then he'd be gunning
If you live in America, then you're an American except when you're in the bathroom
My wife’s body is perfect in every way except that she wears glasses.
It’s okay though. I’m willing to look past that.
I heard the catering on the Star Wars movies was exceptional. An admirable snackbar.
All letters of the alphabet except for c have been declared hate symbols by the anti defamation league. Why?
Due to Covid-19 we're experiencing an exceptionally high call volume...
... please hold while we turn our phones down.
When I die my wish is to be cremated except for my funny bone
That way my humerus with my family forever.
They say I before E except after C.
I am a unique hybrid of two exceptional athletes. My mom was all-American sprinter and my dad qualified for the Olympic marathon.
So naturally, I have been genetically gifted with the ability to run relatively slowly over very short distances.
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except for one.
He’s never gonna give you Up.
/r/puns best of 2020 nomination thread!
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Comment below the links of posts/comments that were exceptional.
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All the best!!
Cleaning your cat's litter box is a lot like sifting gold except for 1 thing
the prize is a lot crappier...literally.
Me: When I went to buy hotdogs on Memorial Day weekend they were all gone except these little ones.
My wife: Guess it was a Memorial Day for hotdogs then.
All teachers should know the I before E except after C rule.
Unless they teach science.
I went to the bee keepers to buy some bees. All the bees had price tags on them except one.
I passed all my courses except for Greek mythology.
That has always been my Achilles’ elbow.
I used to have a calendar that was normal except September 11 was made of sandpaper.
Two wind turbines were standing around, complete silence except for the wind, when one asks the other, "Hey, what kind of music do like?" The other one thinks for a few revolutions and says,
"I'm a really big heavy metal fan."
My son got good grades in all his classes except Greek Mythology
That's always been his Achilles Elbow
I recently did a tour of South Korea that included every city except the capital.
While I enjoyed it, I felt the trip had no Seoul.
My phone plays every song except "Down with the Sickness"
I guess that's because it's in "Do not Disturb" mode.
the stonefish has no natural predator to fear from....
...except the paperfish, which is supposed to be even more superior.
Most of my relatives are police marksmen, except for my grandad who was a bank robber.
He died recently surrounded by his family.
There is nothing stronger than a finger gun...
Dad told me this one last night
Alright so yesterday at dinner my mom and dad told me and my sister that they decided that we would indeed drive to Florida and stay there and rent a place for a few months. The home they picked out is in the same community as my grandparents, I am all happy about this except for the part where we have to drive 1000 miles over 15 hours of driving. So anyway after my sister and I ask some questions about the place he says
“did you know alligators can grow up to 15 feet, but most have four”
You can say 'hi' to everyone on a plane except one...
Ran into Rick Astley. He gave me his entire Pixar collection, except one of them.
He started dancing and said, "Never gonna give you 'Up'."
The mayor of Cowville hosted a citywide celebration of their milk. At the opening ceremony the mayor stood proudly above a pool of milk to show the exceptional quality. Unfortunately as he left the stage he fell into the pool of milk. The townsmen quickly rescued him and asked if he was okay:
"Yes", he said, "I'm all-white".
I before E except after C doesn't always apply...
Rick Astley will let you borrow any of his movies except for one...
He’s never gonna give you Up
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one.
He's never gonna give you Up
Did you know Rick Astley was a huge Pixar fan? He will lend you any movie except one.
He’s never gonna give you Up.
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